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and is it true that paid dating sites are better than free dating sites? as in much greater chance of meeting someone on a paid dating site than a free dating site?
I do believe I am done with this online dating crap. You send a few messages back & forth ask to meet them & that's the point of it right? To meet someone to see if there is anything there?? So what gives why the heck join one of these sites & not tend to move forward???? At least people in bars/clubs will walk up to you or your able to walk up to them.. This is like peeing against the wind you can do it but it doesn't do a lot of good. I'm not pefect & I can admit that but geesh give a guy a chance.
Anyone else have this problem?
Yes this is another online dating bites thread.
I've never done online dating but it reminds me of applying for a job, where all you have to go on is someone's resume, and if you don't give them a chance and meet face to face, how do you know you're not missing out on a great employee? Being reduced to what you think is your best photo, plus a written summary of who you are and what you like, to meet people, seems almost impossible to me.
I've never done online dating but it reminds me of applying for a job, where all you have to go on is someone's resume, and if you don't give them a chance and meet face to face, how do you know you're not missing out on a great employee? Being reduced to what you think is your best photo, plus a written summary of who you are and what you like, to meet people, seems almost impossible to me.
It's just a starting point. You have to be willing to meet a lot of people face to face. That's why I recommend low pressure first meetings - over coffee, at a bookstore, that sort of thing. Don't even call it a date! Don't wait too long to meet face to face - no weeks or months of emails, phone calls, etc. If you're interested in this person at all, just meet them somewhere safe and see what happens.
Don't overanalyze profiles. People make it more complicated than it has to be.
When my (soon to be fiancee) contacted me on match.com, I liked him immediately but no sparks flew. We didn't have a lot of long phone conversations or emails - just some casual conversation. Thank goodness he and I had both had enough "practice" with online dating that we knew just to go ahead and meet in person rather than drag things out.
Even so, after we set a date to meet, I admit to poring over his profile, looking for clues about his personality and life in general. Heck, he didn't even have a decent picture of himself on there! It was from a distance, and a little dark. All I could tell was that he looked, well, normal.
BAM - the minute we met, it was instant jaw to the floor infatuation for both of us. That had literally never happened to either of us before - ever. It was a good thing he went out of the country the next day for a month, and we were forced to communicate via phone and email - otherwise I probably would have made a total hussy out of myself within a very short time!
After we were serious (which didn't take long), I asked him (thinking about all the cool things he had written in his profile, about the joys of being a dad, his Christian faith, his interest in other cultures, etc), "So...when you messaged me, what was it about my profile that really got your attention?"
He said quickly, "Well - your photo." (His first message to me had been, "You have beautiful eyes." AWWWWW!)
I said, "No, I mean...what about what I had written."
He looked at me blankly for a minute and then said, "I have no idea what you wrote about yourself. I liked your photo."
and is it true that paid dating sites are better than free dating sites? as in much greater chance of meeting someone on a paid dating site than a free dating site?
That was not my experience. With e-Harmony, I received two matches a few days apart that had different variations of the same name, slightly different profiles but all the same pictures. Then when I cancelled my subscription I was matched with someone who was way too good to be true-so much that instead of being interested, it raised all kinds of red flags. So I did some research. This is when I learned paid sites use fake profiles to inflate their databases and to entice you to renew your subscription.
With Match, I received winks and messages over a month after my subscription ran out. My friend was on it at the time so we logged into her account and did a search of women my age within 5 miles of my zip code. I had inactivated my account but didn't delete my profile so we were able to find it. It showed as "active within 24 hours" even though I hadn't logged on in over a month. Makes me wonder how many of the men I winked at/messaged were actually active users.
I disabled my profile on OKCupid a couple of weeks ago. Maybe it's just where I live, but I did it because the guys messaging me were bottom of the barrel types who could barely write a sentence or would only message just to write "hi" or "how are you?" Like I'm sure you weren't sending that message to 20 other girls, right? The last guy I talked to before disabling my account didn't understand that I didn't share an interest of his and was thinking that I would like it. He couldn't get no means no, so away he went.
I've been on Match.com but have gotten nothing out of it. Just guys who were already discussing sex by the second message or threw out their phone numbers on the first message. Not sure if they were fake or desperate, but I've pretty much given up on that too and will likely cancel my subscription.
I disabled my profile on OKCupid a couple of weeks ago. Maybe it's just where I live, but I did it because the guys messaging me were bottom of the barrel types who could barely write a sentence or would only message just to write "hi" or "how are you?" Like I'm sure you weren't sending that message to 20 other girls, right? The last guy I talked to before disabling my account didn't understand that I didn't share an interest of his and was thinking that I would like it. He couldn't get no means no, so away he went.
I've been on Match.com but have gotten nothing out of it. Just guys who were already discussing sex by the second message or threw out their phone numbers on the first message. Not sure if they were fake or desperate, but I've pretty much given up on that too and will likely cancel my subscription.
I recently disabled mine as well...for basically the same reason. Lots of 'Hi' or 'Hey sexxxxy' messages. The tipping point for me was a guy who sent me a message and it was so obvious he hadn't looked at my profile AT ALL that I just realized it wasn't worth it. On his profile he said 'no girls over 5'5, no girls over size 8, No brunettes or redheads, no girls who wear heels, no girls who wear lipstick' I'm well over 5'5, well over a size 8, I'm a redhead, I wear heels and lipstick often and I list all of that in my profile. What the hell? Why bother messaging a woman who meets almost none of your requirements?
Masturbated to your pics? They're not "sketchy" pics are they?
Not accusing, just noticed some girls put up some.."sketchy" pics and then follow up with how they don't want ONSs or pervs etc
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Yeah, That cracks me up too. All these girls in bikinis or showing lots of cleavage who say they don't want guys with no-shirt pics and do not want to be treated as sex objects. There is a lot of mixed messages in on-line dating. The way I see it, based on mine and my friends experience on-line dating is great as long as you don't take it too seriously and just focus on getting dates / sex.
Yeah, That cracks me up too. All these girls in bikinis or showing lots of cleavage who say they don't want guys with no-shirt pics and do not want to be treated as sex objects. There is a lot of mixed messages in on-line dating. The way I see it, based on mine and my friends experience on-line dating is great as long as you don't take it too seriously and just focus on getting dates / sex.
Funny. As an adult, I focused my online dating on a long term relationship/marriage and it worked for me.
Ummm I've changed my mind over the last couple of weeks. But please carry on!
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