Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Anything other than that, I'd be happy to be approached. I'll let you know when it finally happens
I don't like a street approach either, along with the gym. I'm actually OK with the bar because it's social, but I likely will not take it outside the bar.
I'm not really into 'fit' men and I HATE working out. I'm rarely in a good mood when I go to the gym because it's a necessary evil and I really don't enjoy it. Plus, I'm usually in bit of pain afterwards because my knees and back are screwed up so that puts me in a not so great mood as well. I want to get my workout over as quickly as possible and go home.
Interesting. I guess if you're not into the beefcake look, then you wouldn't enjoy being approached at the gym
Quote:
If a man came up and started a conversation without trying to touch me, making a lewd comment about me or staring at my boobs when I'm talking to him I'd definitely give him a chance. So far, that hasn't really happened. But I have made some of my closest friends at bars
Seriously? What the hell?
Is it that difficult to meet nice, polite and interesting men? I would never do any of those things
Don't approach anywhere that would feel "risky" or "unsafe:"
1. dark alley at night
2. empty bus stop at night
3. street with little foot traffic
Don't approach when she is clearly in the middle of something:
4. when she has on the don't bother me blinders (i.e. not looking around, headphone, ipod, looks deep in thought, reading intently)
5. in the middle of a workout
6. deep in conversation with someone else
Do approach
1. well-lit, well-trafficked public place
2. party
3. networking event
4. conference
Most importantly:
1. Approach her like she is a person, not an object
2. Don't approach with a line you wouldn't want your mom/favorite aunt/sister to hear you say
3. Don't lead with something 100% looks or sex focused
4. Keep it simple (no need to be ridiculously clever)
5. Don't get touchy within the first few minutes
6. Do pick a place/environment/time when she is likely to be fairly comfortable and open
7. Don't try any nonsense about "why aren't you smiling right now...."
8. Don't follow her for an extended period of time
9. Pay attention to her reaction and body language: is she leaning in or backing away, is she engaging in the conversation or pulling out her phone, looking around, or looking at her watch
10. Don't take it personally if she isn't interested. And no interrogations or hard sells about why she should give you the time of day
Don't approach anywhere that would feel "risky" or "unsafe:"
1. dark alley at night
2. empty bus stop at night
3. street with little foot traffic
Don't approach when she is clearly in the middle of something:
4. when she has on the don't bother me blinders (i.e. not looking around, headphone, ipod, looks deep in thought, reading intently)
5. in the middle of a workout
6. deep in conversation with someone else
I actually sort of started talking to this girl at my gym who had headphones on a few weeks ago and she seemed to enjoy our interaction. She was brand new to the gym and I answered a bunch of questions and helped guide her in the right direction (I've been working out for a while). I went away after a couple minutes though and didn't ask for her number or anything because I didn't want to come across as a desperate loser
I actually sort of started talking to this girl at my gym who had headphones on a few weeks ago and she seemed to enjoy our interaction. She was brand new to the gym and I answered a bunch of questions and helped guide her in the right direction (I've been working out for a while). I went away after a couple minutes though and didn't ask for her number or anything because I didn't want to come across as a desperate loser
I guess it all depends on the person as well
Don't forget about this:
Quote:
9. Pay attention to her reaction and body language: is she leaning in or backing away, is she engaging in the conversation or pulling out her phone, looking around, or looking at her watch
Personally, if I am wearing headphones, it isn't an all or nothing thing about not talking to me. I am generally listening and looking around at the same time, and not in focus mode. But if the headphones are clearly audible from your vantage point, it might not be a good plan to interrupt. If she looks at you and smiles, then you can likely interrupt. If she gives you the death stare, well quit while you are ahead. If she is in the middle of her speedy interval with her headphones on, wait until she is done with the workout, or on the cool down. Generally people with headphones who don't want to be bothered have other body language to confirm it. Eyes closed. Death stare. Super spacy look, etc....
I ask because I always hear this from women online
"Don't approach me at the gym cause I just want to work out and not be bothered"
"Don't approach me at the bar cause I'm just there to drink and party with my friends"
"Don't approach me on the street because it's creepy"
"Don't approach me at the store because I'm just there to shop"
*Insert another situation where I don't ever want to be approached*
etc...etc...etc....
What options does that leave? Is there ever a time where women aren't extremely annoyed by male attention of any kind?
Somebody please explain how this makes sense. The gym is the absolute best place to find good looking/healthy people. Why would you not want to date one of the men from your gym?
I've made a good 10-15 male friends from the gym and they were all fantastic guys
As far as the bar goes, it's a necessary evil for me. I work 45-50 hours a week. I don't have a whole lot of free time so I go out whenever I get the chance. It's a shame that's also off - limits for a lot of women
Serious folks who workout don't waste time and paid their money to workout. You can lose focus in a heartbeat if you distract yourself from your routine workouts. People live busy lives and they don't have time to socialize.
Serious folks who workout don't waste time and paid their money to workout. You can lose focus in a heartbeat if you distract yourself from your routine workouts. People live busy lives and they don't have time to socialize.
Not true at all. I have made friends at the gym who are bodybuilder types. You can socialize and still work out very very hard
I'm not really into 'fit' men and I HATE working out. I'm rarely in a good mood when I go to the gym because it's a necessary evil and I really don't enjoy it. Plus, I'm usually in bit of pain afterwards because my knees and back are screwed up so that puts me in a not so great mood as well. I want to get my workout over as quickly as possible and go home.
The bar? Well, the bars in my area are either cowboy bars (yick) dive bars (great for making friends, not great for meeting decent men) and college bars (I'm nearly 30, I don't want a college boy, nor do I want a man who scopes out college age girls at bars). If a man came up and started a conversation without trying to touch me, making a lewd comment about me or staring at my boobs when I'm talking to him I'd definitely give him a chance. So far, that hasn't really happened. But I have made some of my closest friends at bars
Why go to the gym if you hate it?
I personally enjoy working out and have been for over 20 years.
Don't approach anywhere that would feel "risky" or "unsafe:"
1. dark alley at night
2. empty bus stop at night
3. street with little foot traffic
Don't approach when she is clearly in the middle of something:
4. when she has on the don't bother me blinders (i.e. not looking around, headphone, ipod, looks deep in thought, reading intently)
5. in the middle of a workout
6. deep in conversation with someone else
Do approach
1. well-lit, well-trafficked public place
2. party
3. networking event
4. conference
Most importantly:
1. Approach her like she is a person, not an object
2. Don't approach with a line you wouldn't want your mom/favorite aunt/sister to hear you say
3. Don't lead with something 100% looks or sex focused
4. Keep it simple (no need to be ridiculously clever)
5. Don't get touchy within the first few minutes
6. Do pick a place/environment/time when she is likely to be fairly comfortable and open
7. Don't try any nonsense about "why aren't you smiling right now...."
8. Don't follow her for an extended period of time
9. Pay attention to her reaction and body language: is she leaning in or backing away, is she engaging in the conversation or pulling out her phone, looking around, or looking at her watch
10. Don't take it personally if she isn't interested. And no interrogations or hard sells about why she should give you the time of day
Post of the year!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
