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Women also put a very high premium on a lot of other things-- a man not being too clingy, a man being an "alpha male", etc.
Furthermore, when we try not to put such a high premium on looks, and we try to give overweight and obese women a chance, they reject us and insult us for being too clingy. So what is the incentive for us to become less superficial and less picky? We still get rejected either way.
I think these should be "I" and "me" statements. You should be speaking for yourself. YOU'RE the one who's being rejected. Somehow, I suspect that other guys wouldn't have so much trouble.
Are you choosing women based on any other criterion than weight? Personality? Maturity? Compatibility? Why does it seem like the answer is "no"?
Men are famous for rejecting women for being too "clingy". What's your point? You're the one being rejected for being clingy. So...stop being clingy. Pretty simple. Confident, happy, well-adjusted people generally don't like clingy people. It's not a gender-specific thing.
Congratulations on hijacking yet another thread, and making it all about you, btw.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-03-2012 at 10:41 AM..
Being drawn to beauty may be biological. But placing beauty above all other values in choosing a partner seems more a learned behavior. And maybe, a behavior we should try to unlearn.
What do think?
I remember in undergrad, my friends would jibber jabber and chase the hottest gals on campus. I always thought it was kind of silly.
BTW, they were rarely able to get those women.
The men I know today, only a few of them really married for beauty. Most of them married for personality or practical reasons. I feel women place more of an emphasis on beauty, but that could just be drawing from my own personal failures.
I think these should be "I" and "me" statements. You should be speaking for yourself. YOU'RE the one who's being rejected. Somehow, I suspect that other guys wouldn't have so much trouble.
Do you honestly that i'm the only guy asking out overweight or obese women and getting rejected for being too clingy? Do the ladies here honestly believe that other clingy guys don't get rejected by overweight or obese women? I highly, highly doubt it is just specific to me and it doesn't happen to other clingy guys, but i guess it's possible.
If women want men to overlook their weight, i don't see why men shouldn't expect women to overlook our clingy-ness. Neither obesity nor clingy-ness are seen as attractive features by most people. So what is it that makes obesity somehow more acceptable in your mind than clingy-ness?
Do you honestly that i'm the only guy asking out overweight or obese women and getting rejected for being too clingy?
In a word, "yes".
Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921
If women want men to overlook their weight, i don't see why men shouldn't expect women to overlook our clingy-ness.
Because, by gum, you have a God-given right to be clingy, right? It's a fundamental human right! Clingy, sex-starved men, UNITE!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921
Do the ladies here honestly believe that other clingy guys don't get rejected by overweight or obese women?
You're the only one crazy enough to target fat women for your dubious charms. Besides, according to a good number of the guys here, "overweight" isn't a bad thing, if not taken to an extreme. Why are you making it sound like an overweight woman is like having a major handicap, like she's a charity case?
Do you honestly that i'm the only guy asking out overweight or obese women and getting rejected for being too clingy? Do the ladies here honestly believe that other clingy guys don't get rejected by overweight or obese women? I highly, highly doubt it is just specific to me and it doesn't happen to other clingy guys, but i guess it's possible.
If women want men to overlook their weight, i don't see why men shouldn't expect women to overlook our clingy-ness. Neither obesity nor clingy-ness are seen as attractive features by most people. So what is it that makes obesity somehow more acceptable in your mind than clingy-ness?
In my opinion she's not doubting that it happens to other guys she's doubting that it happens to the extent that you can speak as if it applies to all/most guys or guys in general. No different to me than saying a gal it suited to use "my" or "me" when saying 'when will our husbands stop raping and beating us everyday' as if that's the norm or commonplace occurrence for all/most gals or gals in general.
Do you honestly that i'm the only guy asking out overweight or obese women and getting rejected for being too clingy? Do the ladies here honestly believe that other clingy guys don't get rejected by overweight or obese women? I highly, highly doubt it is just specific to me and it doesn't happen to other clingy guys, but i guess it's possible.
If women want men to overlook their weight, i don't see why men shouldn't expect women to overlook our clingy-ness. Neither obesity nor clingy-ness are seen as attractive features by most people. So what is it that makes obesity somehow more acceptable in your mind than clingy-ness?
No amount of hotness can overcome clingy. Sorry lpfan, but for some of us, clingy is a death wish. That's an automatic relationship style clash. Why should anyone settle for someone they don't click with. And if you have different attachment level requirements, it is toughs to make that work.
No amount of hotness can overcome clingy. Sorry lpfan, but for some of us, clingy is a death wish. That's an automatic relationship style clash. Why should anyone settle for someone they don't click with. And if you have different attachment level requirements, it is toughs to make that work.
Can i ask you, do you think people should overlook someone's weight and give them a chance?
Can i ask you, do you think people should overlook someone's clingy-ness and give them a chance?
Because the overall impression i am getting from a number of women is that people should be expected to overlook weight, and not doing so is somehow shallow, superficial, or otherwise immoral. But people should not be expected to overlook clingy-ness.
I don't really understand how it is immoral to be picky about weight, but it is acceptable to be picky about clingy-ness. That is the concept i am struggling to wrap my head around. If you are picky, you are picky. Why is it wrong to be picky about one thing, but ok to be picky about something else?
Can i ask you, do you think people should overlook someone's weight and give them a chance?
Can i ask you, do you think people should overlook someone's clingy-ness and give them a chance?
Because the overall impression i am getting from a number of women is that people should be expected to overlook weight, and not doing so is somehow shallow, superficial, or otherwise immoral. But people should not be expected to overlook clingy-ness.
I don't really understand how it is immoral to be picky about weight, but it is acceptable to be picky about clingy-ness. That is the concept i am struggling to wrap my head around. If you are picky, you are picky. Why is it wrong to be picky about one thing, but ok to be picky about something else?
People shouldn't overlook things they don't like. It's really that simple. I love my husband. If I didn't find him attractive or if he annoyed the crap out of me - I wouldn't be with him. Why would I be with someone that annoyed the crap out of me or someone I found unattractive?
This isn't pickiness - it's about being with someone you love being with.
Can i ask you, do you think people should overlook someone's weight and give them a chance?
Can i ask you, do you think people should overlook someone's clingy-ness and give them a chance?
Because the overall impression i am getting from a number of women is that people should be expected to overlook weight, and not doing so is somehow shallow, superficial, or otherwise immoral. But people should not be expected to overlook clingy-ness.
I don't really understand how it is immoral to be picky about weight, but it is acceptable to be picky about clingy-ness. That is the concept i am struggling to wrap my head around. If you are picky, you are picky. Why is it wrong to be picky about one thing, but ok to be picky about something else?
Everyone has their own things they are picky about. There is no hard and fast rule about what you can be picky about in terms of your personal relationships.
Personally, clinginess is at the top of my list. I end all relationships, platonic or romantic, when people are too clingy; I find it suffocating behavior.
But no matter your choice (for romantic liaisons), there is no need to treat people who are obese or overweight as less than human because you don't like their appearance. The same holds true for race, ability, gender, height etc.
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