For Guys Here Who Struggle With Women Because of Anxiety/Low Confidence/Etc... (love, therapy)
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Wow, I am really impressed by the level of honesty on here, and the kind, constructive comments you guys are giving one another.
I am a woman-- one who gets approached a lot by guys who act like smooth talking idiots as well as those who are honestly just grasping for something to say. I have to say this: NO ONE is undateable. Everyone has something to offer. If women are laughing at you, they suck. Its not you. Its really them. Cruelty is never acceptable, even if you aren't interested.
Its so nice to hear that many of you are trying to figure out the root of the problems and how to fix it. This is what the women who will make worthwhile partners are looking for.
Growing up, my parents put locks and stuff on our computers...it never stopped me or any of my friends. Kids are industrious, you'd be surprised...
A phone gets you all the porn you could ever want. If not you kid's, your kid's friend's...
Well, then it actually proves my point in a way . . . sort of, in the sense that there have always been ways for kids to get in trouble and do things that are bad for them.
Every generation thinks the generation growing up after them is the one that is going to hell in a handbasket.
My advice is to work on your social skills...which means starting and having conversations with people who are not on your dating radar (men, old women, etc). It can be as simple as purchasing a product in a store and talking to the salesperson in light conversation. It will train you to be 'natural' when talking to people.
Thank you for the advice but this isn't really going to help me. I have pretty good social skills in that I know how to connect with people, have interesting conversations, I have a wide array of knowledge in a lot of areas, etc....
A lot of my friends have pretty girlfriends and I get along GREAT with them. The difference there is I have no chance to date them so I can just be myself and not worry about anything. The issue then just comes down to me overcoming all the negative stuff and actually trying to talk to women who are single with a positive mindset and being myself - not forcing anything (I am very lonely so often times I have trouble just being myself and letting it come to me). I'm working as much as possible on this
It's hard to believe but I've come a long way. There used to be a time where I went years without even talking to any woman (I couldn't even talk to women as friends). I know I'm not that far away from finding somebody so I just gotta keep the faith
You are too fragile and vunerable. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak.
I don't think I'm too fragile and vulnerable - I am not one of those guys where I need a woman to validate my existence. I am very happy with my life and how it's setup....I just want to add something to it, not make a girlfriend my entire existence
Excellent thread here BTW, lots of fascinating replies
Well, then it actually proves my point in a way . . . sort of, in the sense that there have always been ways for kids to get in trouble and do things that are bad for them.
Every generation thinks the generation growing up after them is the one that is going to hell in a handbasket.
Lol, true I guess. I just don't see the op's problems as being unique to him, that's all.
Lol, true I guess. I just don't see the op's problems as being unique to him, that's all.
It's unique to me because of the way everything worked out
I've always been good at making friends because I never developed any negative perceptions about making friends. I was a guy in high school who a lot of people liked. Fast forward to 2012 and I've had lots of people who are just shocked that I have never had a girlfriend.
I think if you ask a 100 guys like myself who are outgoing/social, who take good care of themselves, who have good jobs and who have good character (which I feel I do), I don't think more than 1/100 would ever tell you that they've had as little success with women as I have. I think I'm a very unique case in that category
It's unique to me because of the way everything worked out
I've always been good at making friends because I never developed any negative perceptions about making friends. I was a guy in high school who a lot of people liked. Fast forward to 2012 and I've had lots of people who are just shocked that I have never had a girlfriend.
I think if you ask a 100 guys like myself who are outgoing/social, who take good care of themselves, who have good jobs and who have good character (which I feel I do), I don't think more than 1/100 would ever tell you that they've had as little success with women as I have. I think I'm a very unique case in that category
I think you'd be surprised. Keep in mind, guys are guys...we lie about women all the time.
The whole "shy" thing, or however you want to characterize it, might be unique to you but there are so many other ways men have problems with women. For example, I just don't trust them, plain and simple. I think it's a massive trick....they lure you in and crush you like a bug....using you for resources....maybe one day one keeps you around because she finds you funny, or interesting, or useful, or she's just bored...but 9/10 she's just using you for what you can do for her...
Which isn't a bad thing...I mean, men provide, and women get provided for...it's kind of hardwired so I can't really say too much about it.
I think if you ask a 100 guys like myself who are outgoing/social, who take good care of themselves, who have good jobs and who have good character (which I feel I do), I don't think more than 1/100 would ever tell you that they've had as little success with women as I have. I think I'm a very unique case in that category
You're wrong. I've known a number of guys like that. Being social with your buddies and their SO's doesn't always translate into ease with a potential date or partner, as you know. You're far from alone in this.
I've always had an issue approaching woman to get dates. Usually I'd come up with some excuse and talk myself out of the approach. Still working on getting over that.
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