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1. Your father's side of the family is old-fashioned.
2. He shouldn't believe everything about White women that he sees on TV in China, nor should he believe rumors and public opinion.
3. You're an only child, a son. Guess what? There aren't enough Chinese women in China for all the single-child boys. So you're doing the right thing by looking for a partner outside the country. You can explain this to your father.
4. It's a good sign that he apologized. If you find a nice, smart, accomplished girl, he'll change his mind eventually.
How did you get a visa for Canada? Are you a student?
Do not get anyone pregnant just to solve your own problems. This isn't such a difficult problem. Your dad obviously loves you, he'll come around eventually.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 01-10-2013 at 11:09 PM..
I am a Chinese international student currently live in Toronto; unlike most of my Asian peers who strive to succeed in their academic fields and find respectable careers in the future, the primary reason for me come to Canada is getting a white girlfriend. I know this sounds extremely foolish and laughable; if you think I am trolling here, please accept my apology because I have no intention to cause any turmoil in this forum. Everything that I am writing here is exactly how i feel.
My grandfather was a lieutenant general of Chinese PLA, which stands to reason that my father succeeds in the Chinese real estate business (although he never had MBA or any formal commerce education background). My family is very traditional and conservative; despite the fact my grandfather studied at Soviet Union more than 7 years and was a strong Marxism supporter; he and my father dislike foreigners or Chinese ethnic minorities. They began talk about my marriage when I was still in high school ;my mom never cared, but she doesn't make much decision in the family. According to them, an ideal future wife for me would be a Northern Chinese girl, 3-5 years than me, well-educated and from prestigious family.
The above criteria seemed reasonable, as I understood a stable marriage depends on the similar socio-economic class an life-style of the couple. I know some people may disagree on that; but that is just my personal theory. The only problem is that I have never attracted to an east Asian woman, not Asian celebrities, porn star or even half-Asians . Of course, as a financially privileged young heterosexual man, I had causal intercourse with few Asian women in the past just to release my sexual need, but I never developed romantic/ emotional connections with them. The first time I fall into love with someone ( at age 16) who is a French Jewish girl; sadly, at that time I don't speak English and the relationship never went further. I am 23 now, and in the past years, I have only attracted to Caucasian girls, not only sexually but emotionally as well. I never pictured myself with Asian girls together and never had close Asian female friends.
Of course, after I revealed my preference to my dad, he almost jumped to the roof. He said I am too naive and stupid and disloyal to the family. He believes all the white girls are promiscuous and materialistic, although he admits that Chinese women are materialistic too. He told me that interracial relationship can't never work out because " good white girls" wouldn't date outside their race and " white whores" are not marriageable. He said he doesn't mind I hire some blonde escorts for fun but never have serious relation with white girls. He suggests me to see shrinks and let them to correct my “abnormality", to escape my family's criticism, I fled from Beijing to Toronto, and hoping to start a new life here.
My father soon called me and apologized to me, he said I am the only child in the family and he wishes all the best for me. He let me stay in shangri-la condo he bought last year; and promises to pay my tuition, but I need to get married before 25 and have my first child before 30. My father said Grandpa ( who is 90 now) wants to see his full-Chinese blood great grandchild before he dies, I never made any positive contribution to the family honor and this will be my last chance to do so.
I never want and probably will not become rich and powerful; I will be satisfied with atypical middle class, suburban life in North America. I am not a player, I only need one woman whom I loved and respected. (Shamefully admit that she has to be Caucasian ) I am currently dating a girl in my university, we have been dating since 2011, she has every quality I am looking for: tall, beautiful, funny, and well educated, her father is a senior executive of the local health integration network in Ontario. I didn't tell my father about this because he will get frustrated ( he probably wouldn't disown me since I am the only child)and cuts my allowrance.
The only way I could think to convince my father and my grandfather accept my girlfriend is to get her pregnant ( I know this is disgusting and unethical). I know my father will never reject my baby, my grandfather wouldn't be very happy but for sure he will accept he/she as a family member. My family has strong prejudice against single parenthood and they will accept my girlfriend because of our kid.
Any thoughts or suggestions? feel free to reply
Wow sounds like you and I are both in a horrible emotional/mental state right now. I hope you find the help you need
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by SEAandATL
I am a half-Asian guy who is really attracted to white (especially blonde) girls. From my experience of living in Georgia and California, I had better luck with white girls in California because Southern girls tend to be more prejudice and like to stick to their own race. I do find Southern white women especially beautiful though, especially with their accents and how they dress, which is why I tend to put them up on a pedastal (which could actually be my reason for my bad luck with them). I also love British women as well.
I think PSY might have helped the image of Asian men, that they can be hip and cool as well.
PSY is hardly a sex symbol...well maybe he is to some women, lol.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacobchen7
From your experience, if an Asian man posses those traits listed (confident, charismatic, etc.)... What percentage of white women in your area would be willing to date him? Be 100% honest here
The way I see it even if the percentage is low, those who are open are probably more open-minded in general, which is better for you.
When I was a teen I never thought much in terms of 'interracial' dating. I just liked girls who mostly happened to be white since I live in Australia. It's only as I get older I'm forced to confront the fact that many people are indeed closed off to it. No biggie, I guess, I'm not looking for just anybody.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
There's an advantage to being in a state where a lot of White women grew up around Asian guys and are comfortable with them.
I actually get what the other poster is about. It can work against you, too. Australia has a lot of Asians but I'm not sure that's helped, since most of them, or a lot of them, do fit the nerdy stereotype, it seems that non-Australian Asians outnumber Australian ones and makes them seem more 'different.' Also, if you're in a state with not a lot of Asians, you're more likely to end up with a non-Asian too. So there's something in it. Of course it can also work against you, but just saying.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn
Yeah we're talking about Northeastern Asians. I have some friends who are Vietnamese and Thai and they are some of the craziest mofos I've ever met. But Koreans (unlike me) are normally quite...boring and not social.
Vietnamese, Filipinos.etc are well represented in America. They go through the same struggles as Chinese, Japanese, Korean.
He was probably talking about you when he sang that
Nah not really. I heard he made a song about killing Americans and raping their women.
When he was confronted he didn't apologize, just retorted;"I was young and dumb"
Bet he likes the Americans now that they like his dumb song and making him lots of moolah.
A hot Asian Look up Too fast too furious-Tokyo Drift.
The leader of the bad guys is freaken scrumbious.
Ps. Thanks for the compliment.
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lol
