When should a guy start giving his girlfriend money? (Latin, relations, reason)
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OK, I agree with all the this, however how about if he's sleeping at your place every night, eating your food, etc...should he pitch in at all?
That's a different situation than expecting an SO to pay your bills. If he's there all the time and your grocery/water bill etc. has doubled because of it, it might be time for a talk.
I was in a vaguely similar situation a LONG time ago. My GF moved in with me and we were very happy. It never occurred to me to charge her rent and she often paid for groceries (she was a great cook!) Remember, I was paying for everything before she arrived.
Many months later, she lost her job. I continued to pay the rent, utilities and all the groceries. I never resented her at all. She earnestly looked for another job and used her unemployment money to pay her car expenses. (She needed the car to look for work). Okay, I might have paid for some of her clothes now and then - no big deal. And eventually, she got another job.
I didn't consider that she was freeloading. I suppose she could have moved back with her parents but we were genuinely in love in a LTR and wanted to be together. I didn't feel she was taking advantage at all. She felt bad about it but hey, I would have to buy my own groceries if I were single. I certainly didn't want to make her feel any worse about losing her job.
We never got to a point where she needed major expenses from me so maybe that's why it wasn't an issue. Okay, I had a good job and could afford it. And we were great together.
If the tables were reversed and I moved in with her then lost my job, I would certainly feel real bad but I would gratefully accept it if she offered. The difference is that changing jobs is usually temporary and it is not intended to take advantage.
So was I an idiot for temporarily putting a roof over her head and food on her table (which she cooked) ??? Not at all.
When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it. So she won't generally appreciate the gesture. That is just my opinion. But let's say you have been dating her for a couple of months and she starts dropping hints of bills being due.
What's the general rule of thumb for giving your girlfriend money?
I'm a boyfriend, not a bank!
I always pay for dates, I'd feel rather corny if I didn't! Even if things go well and we take an expensive vacation, I wouldn't be opposed to paying for that!
Paying her electric bill, student loans, etc? Hell no! If she can't work and live within her means that's a red flag IMO. Life really isn't that difficult.
I imagine if 5-10 years passed we're married or pretty much there I'd dump both incomes in one pot and start making financial decisions together.
Has anyone dated someone where you both are homeowners and you both love your house? What happened as things progressed?
Last edited by MarshallV84; 04-30-2014 at 10:14 PM..
Why would a guy give a gf any money? Unless like banaman says, they're living together and she loses her job. But women support men who lose their job, too. I don't think that's the type of situation the OP had in mind. No one should ever give money to someone they're just dating. Most women don't need it, anyway.
When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it. So she won't generally appreciate the gesture. That is just my opinion. But let's say you have been dating her for a couple of months and she starts dropping hints of bills being due.
What's the general rule of thumb for giving your girlfriend money?
The general rule of thumb is as soon as she starts asking for money you break up with her!
16 months, 22 days, 12 hours and 10 minutes into dating, otherwise it won't work.
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