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Old 01-07-2013, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
10,061 posts, read 18,162,856 times
Reputation: 35909

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Quote:
Originally Posted by joeclyde View Post
When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it. So she won't generally appreciate the gesture. That is just my opinion. But let's say you have been dating her for a couple of months and she starts dropping hints of bills being due.
Honestly, I'm surprised that there are 49 responses and only one (as far as I could see) mentioned the "she hasn't earned it" part. Um, earned it HOW? Once she starts having sex with you, is that when she begins "earning" the money you are thinking of giving her? There's a word for that.

Years ago I was involved with a man long-distance (he was in New Hampshire, I was still in Michigan) and we both flew down to Florida during my spring break. My mom asked me if he was paying my way down. Mind you, this was when I was teaching at my grad school alma mater and making a decent salary. I said, "Um, why would he? In exchange for what?" I love my mom, but that shut her up.

Of course there ARE exceptions, as some of you have pointed out -- e.g., in a LTR, sometimes one of you will have lean times and might need a few extra dollars, but that is very different from what the OP was writing about. (And speaking of that -- I can't believe he was serious in his post. Am I the only one who has doubts about that?!)

 
Old 01-07-2013, 05:28 PM
 
2,560 posts, read 2,644,656 times
Reputation: 1484
My general rule of thumb for a guy giving his girlfriend money is to only do so when he wants to and doesn't have ulterior motives or expectations for giving. In other words pretty much never as I highly doubt that there are more than a miniscule minority of guys who give their girlfriends money out of love or generosity.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 05:31 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,315 posts, read 108,515,277 times
Reputation: 116376
"Rule of thumb"?? As if this is a normal situation
Stop being a sucker, OP. If you're prone to this sort of thing happening, you need to look at your dating selection process.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 06:05 PM
 
Location: FL
1,710 posts, read 3,147,071 times
Reputation: 1893
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_contrary View Post
Seriously? My boyfriend has never flipped me money to go have fun for the day. You know why? Because he knows I take pride in earning my own money and wouldn't demean me like that. It's one thing to buy a salon voucher for your girlfriend on her birthday, or treat her to a massage if she seems stressed out from work (my boyfriend and I do things like this for each other periodically). Otherwise you fall into old-fashioned roles. Since your SO is willingly taking your money, she doesn't sound like a keeper at all.
No she's not a keeper...she's just college educated in the medical profession, licensed, and in high demand, an excellent Mom to our two kids, faithful and beautiful, lol. Not only has she taken my money, she got my car and half of the paid off house...it didn't demean her a bit.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,258 posts, read 64,546,528 times
Reputation: 73944
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeclyde View Post
When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it. So she won't generally appreciate the gesture. That is just my opinion. But let's say you have been dating her for a couple of months and she starts dropping hints of bills being due.

What's the general rule of thumb for giving your girlfriend money?
Dump her.
What kind of person asks their bf/gf for money?
Go find a grown-up to date.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 06:20 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,591,892 times
Reputation: 1982
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeclyde View Post
When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it. So she won't generally appreciate the gesture. That is just my opinion. But let's say you have been dating her for a couple of months and she starts dropping hints of bills being due.

What's the general rule of thumb for giving your girlfriend money?

I see nothing wrong with taking care of a woman from day one, it's our job.

If I like a girl, she's broke, and all my bills are paid, I'm going to take her to get herself fixed up. And the thing is, if I'm paying, I get to chose (to some degree) what I like to see her in to boot so I'm telling her to get her nails painted "candy apple red", or whatever, because that's what color I like to see her in.

As far as a general rule, I think you need to play it by ear as you go along, but generally speaking, if she needs the money, she should be politely asking you for it.

Either way, if you don't take care of your girl, somebody else will, so you can't be cheap charlie all the time so it's a fine balance between spending money to keep your woman happy, but at the same time, putting your foot down from time to time to prevent yourself from being used.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 06:27 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,591,892 times
Reputation: 1982
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Dump her.
What kind of person asks their bf/gf for money?
Go find a grown-up to date.
You can't be serious. Young girls these days are going to school, paying car notes, paying for books, food, rent, student loans, ect, all while earning money, as say, a waitress that pays between 3-7 bucks an hour + tips. In other words, they're BROKE!

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Old 01-07-2013, 06:30 PM
 
Location: FL
1,710 posts, read 3,147,071 times
Reputation: 1893
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01 View Post
I see nothing wrong with taking care of a woman from day one, it's our job.

If I like a girl, she's broke, and all my bills are paid, I'm going to take her to get herself fixed up. And the thing is, if I'm paying, I get to chose (to some degree) what I like to see her in to boot so I'm telling her to get her nails painted "candy apple red", or whatever, because that's what color I like to see her in.

As far as a general rule, I think you need to play it by ear as you go along, but generally speaking, if she needs the money, she should be politely asking you for it.

Either way, if you don't take care of your girl, somebody else will, so you can't be cheap charlie all the time so it's a fine balance between spending money to keep your woman happy, but at the same time, putting your foot down from time to time to prevent yourself from being used.
Great post and so true.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 06:31 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,771,470 times
Reputation: 20396
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01 View Post
I see nothing wrong with taking care of a woman from day one, it's our job.
It might have been your job back in the 1950s but we live in 2013 now. Time to get with the times calicali. Women have been financially independent for more than 20 years. The only women who need a man to take care of them are leeches. Once a relationship is established things might be different but taking care of a woman from the get go is stupid. An irresponsible, needy girlfriend becomes an irresponsible, needy wife.
 
Old 01-07-2013, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,781 posts, read 34,567,516 times
Reputation: 77335
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Once a relationship is established things might be different but taking care of a woman from the get go is stupid. An irresponsible, needy girlfriend becomes an irresponsible, needy wife.
And guess what happens when he divorces this kind of woman?
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