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My brother has a 17 year old son he has never met because he resulted from an affair he was having. She got pregnant and he has been paying child support all these years but wanted nothing to do with the child for obvious reasons. Not everything is as straightforward as you think.
Actually the reasons are not obvious. What is so much more important than the child your brother helped create?
The kid would probably be mad at my brother if he just showed up one day (and rightfully so). He knows my brother's name, he has a mother and a father in his ID.
As far as I know, the woman hasn't been with anyone since the boy was born but who knows? The other problem is that my "legitimate" nephews don't know about his existance, so it would be another drama for my brother to sort out.
And something he should take care of now. What a jerk... Unfortunately the world is full of them.
Actually the reasons are not obvious. What is so much more important than the child your brother helped create?
No kidding. It isn't obvious to me either. It wouldn't matter if this woman was just a good time...If you have a child out there you need to co-parent that child. It certainly isn't the child's fault. Shame on your brother. And, what about the rest of the family? You all just ignored this kid his whole life....Bad! Poor kid.
Actually the reasons are not obvious. What is so much more important than the child your brother helped create?
His other kids were still very young at the time and he probably didn't want to ruin his marriage. I'm not saying he had the best attitude but I can't blame him as well.
And something he should take care of now. What a jerk... Unfortunately the world is full of them.
I wouldn't call him a jerk when he sends enough money for the boy to live a more than comfortable life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND
No kidding. It isn't obvious to me either. It wouldn't matter if this woman was just a good time...If you have a child out there you need to co-parent that child. It certainly isn't the child's fault. Shame on your brother. And, what about the rest of the family? You all just ignored this kid his whole life....Bad! Poor kid.
I'm the only one who knows apart from my brother. Like I said, he acted on impulse at the time and now I'm sure he regrets it. I think he'll try to contact the boy sooner or later. But it's understandable why he's afraid. He has never seen him nor does he know his birthday. He just knows his name.
His other kids were still very young at the time and he probably didn't want to ruin his marriage. I'm not saying he had the best attitude but I can't blame him as well.
Well he is a big ole doofus and you can tell him I said so. I am the mother of a 9 1/2 year old child that has yet to meet her father. Last time we saw him in Walmart, he was ducking around aisles so she would not spot him. As if she would be able to recognize him. The kids suffer. Being a low income single parent, my daughter has missed out on a lot of things that I can not provide.
Yes I am bitter. I danced a happy dance when his wife left him, after she found out about my child. He met and married her while I was pregnant. His house was recently foreclosed on and he was injured at work and now disabled. I say karma bit him hard on the butt.
Well at least your brother pays support. At least he is not a deadbeat jerk...only a jerk. Have him contact his child and tell his other three sons the truth.
Well at least your brother pays support. At least he is not a deadbeat jerk...only a jerk. Have him contact his child and tell his other three sons the truth.
My daughter has no idea she has siblings.
He's not a jerk. People can make all kind of mistakes. To contact the kid he would have to contact his mother first and she might not give him his son's contact out revenge. He doesn't know where they live.
If he doesn't abandon the child and works hard to remain on civil terms with the mother, I don't have any problem with it. **** happens sometimes. As a child of a marriage where the parents stayed together when they both wanted out, I can honestly say it gives one a miserable view of marriage as an institution and a skewed perspective on romance in general. I also had a terrible relationship with my mother for a very long time because of her profound unhappiness in her marriage, and her treatment of me seriously damaged my self-image at a particularly tricky time. It cast a serious shadow over my life. I love her dearly, but I fear I will never have any real respect for her because of that.
So if the relationship is pretty much doomed, I say the sooner it ends, the better. I don't have problems with guys who do this as long as they remember that their child's welfare should be their priority.
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