Single people: have any of you "given up on love"? (men, lover)
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People really need to learn to speak for themselves on this board.
No it is not. No one has ever died from never being in a relationship.
I think it's a fair statement. For whatever reason we humans seem to be wired to want and need someone, but it varies from person to person. My sense is that the OP as well as many of the posters want that but have nearly or totally given up. I like the post that said don't give up if it's something you want.
No, I haven't given up on it at all as I push on toward 40. But I've got a happy life right now, and I've worked hard to build it - I won't jeopardize that happiness with a bad relationship. I've been in love, and it was great even if it didn't last. I'm not going to settle for less than that relationship, and being alone holds no horrors for me. Maybe I'll get tired of searching or hoping, but I won't be all that devastated if I do give up. There are so many other things in my life that bring me joy and satisfaction.
Who "gives up" on something they want and need? Didn't you ever teach your children not to give up? No pain, no gain. As hard as you work on restoring your homes, you could equally work just as hard on finding someone for you. If there's a will, there's a way.
... Never give up on anything you want, deserve and need. Emotional intimacy is a basic need for us.
Speaking only for myself, I will say that for over 40 years I wanted to be in a relationship; but it wasn't something that I need in order to survive or even in order to have a happy life.
I think I did try hard. I did fall in love a few times. Yes, I even had my heart broken, and felt the pain of rejection and humiliation. These things may have hurt my feelings but they didn't devastate me or turn me into a bitter or angry person. They were learning experiences ... and this is what I learned: that I am a whole and complete person even without being in a committed romantic relationship, that having really good friendships can be a substitute for a primary relationship, and that you can still have an interesting and varied sex life without a partner/spouse.
The fact is I know married married couples who are miserable, lonely, and even living in sexless marriages.
Who "gives up" on something they want and need? Didn't you ever teach your children not to give up? No pain, no gain. As hard as you work on restoring your homes, you could equally work just as hard on finding someone for you. If there's a will, there's a way. I'm over 50, divorced a couple of years, started dating someone who is in a similiar situation. He just wants a casual relationship with benefits of course, so I'm ready to move on. I think it's called "Next". I really want to be with someone and I am confident that I will find love. Never give up on anything you want, deserve and need. Emotional intimacy is a basic need for us.
There's a difference between perseverance toward a goal and another person. You can't force another person to want you like you can remodel your house. There are people who have tried and tried and tried and never seem to meet someone. It just doesn't come that easy for some people. But see, perkytogethers who have always been in relationships or have lots of admirers never understand that.
It's similar for me. If I get a relationship that works out, cool. If not, there are tons of other things I can base my life around.
But there are quite a few people whom I can't tolerate. Then the ones I can tolerate, I often find something that could really mess up the relationship.
right?
couldn't have said it better myself. it's almost as if the people you can tolerate can't tolerate you.
Since the question was who "gives up" on love, I answered it in the context of giving up after failed attempts or failed relationships. There is someone for everyone. Perhaps my glass is half full instead of half empty. Trying and trying to meet someone is hopefully figuring out why your chances are slim and maybe even modifying your behavior, your expectations and the number of chances you allow. I do think that loving another is an emotional need for most of us, but I do agree it's not required to survive. And loving yourself and your life can be more meaningful than loving another or a pre-requisite for loving another.
Since the question was who "gives up" on love, I answered it in the context of giving up after failed attempts or failed relationships. There is someone for everyone. Perhaps my glass is half full instead of half empty. Trying and trying to meet someone is hopefully figuring out why your chances are slim and maybe even modifying your behavior, your expectations and the number of chances you allow. I do think that loving another is an emotional need for most of us, but I do agree it's not required to survive. And loving yourself and your life can be more meaningful than loving another or a pre-requisite for loving another.
I doubt that is necessarily the case. Half full or half empty, some people are not safe to be in a relationship with...
...Then again, psychopaths for psychopaths and axe murderers for axe murderers, the world would ultimately be a better place.
I think it might be. Someone out there is a match for my crazy arse.
You are a wacky woman, but there is a lid for every pot.. and every wacky woman can get their wacky man...................
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