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I don't think of a 10 year age gap as that big of a difference. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was always meeting guys in their thirties. I didn't consider them "old" by any means...they were just a little older than me.
I've never been turned off by older men, but it was also never my sole attraction. Everything was on a case by case scenario.
Different people have different preferences. I know when I was college age and one of my friends was with an older guy her life became completely different than it would have been had she been with a younger guy who was having life experiences more typical of that age group.
For me observing my parents, their age difference did cause some issues that wouldn't have been there had they been closer in age. If you are younger, haven't lived on your won, and you marry someone who has lived by themselves for many years, has traveled internationally, etc., you are on different footing.
I don't think of a 10 year age gap as that big of a difference. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was always meeting guys in their thirties. I didn't consider them "old" by any means...they were just a little older than me.
I've never been turned off by older men, but it was also never my sole attraction. Everything was on a case by case scenario.
I don't either, and if that was the specific question in the OP I wouldn't have any problem with the scenario (from my personal preference and POV).
If the question is specifically about a 10 years or less age gap, then generally, at least over the age of maybe 25-ish I think people can get along and relate depending upon their personalities.
My own personal preference is no more than seven-ish, eight-ish years older, just from the POV of being able to relate as well as from a physical (attracted to) standpoint.
It is not a red flag, and your assumption that a lot of men prefer younger women for all the wrong reasons is inaccurate. Most men prefer younger women because of our biological makeup, and youth having to do with fertility as well as a larger time frame to reproduce and carry our offspring. No more no less. Condemning men for finding younger women attractive is extremely narrow minded and shows complete ignorance of reality or lack of understanding of who we are as humans.
Well then if 40 something and older men are going after younger women for alleged fertility (and let's not forget age may have nothing to do with fertility then it's their fault for not finding someone sooner. It is NOT narrow minded to judge men who intentionally seek much younger women because we all know they aren't doing it for fertility, that's the big lie. In fact many of the men who seek younger women don't even want kids. As for younger people being better looking, not always true and sorry men don't usually become more handsome with age.
Well then if 40 something and older men are going after younger women for alleged fertility (and let's not forget age may have nothing to do with fertility then it's their fault for not finding someone sooner. It is NOT narrow minded to judge men who intentionally seek much younger women because we all know they aren't doing it for fertility, that's the big lie. In fact many of the men who seek younger women don't even want kids. As for younger people being better looking, not always true and sorry men don't usually become more handsome with age.
Well, if a man has waited until his 40s so he could "get it together" first before starting a family, then yes, he probably "needs" a woman who's younger; her fertility is limited.
I do get that some men wait until they're a bit older before they feel they can really be spouses/parents, my husband waited until he was 30 to feel like he was ready to consider all that.
Women do this too, the only difference is that our fertility is limited. I don't know that it's really anyone's "fault" for waiting if they're just trying to get their lives together, have a good career, etc. before bringing children into the equation.
My issue isn't even the fact that some couples with large age gaps find love. We all know couples like this. My issue is the fact that many men (and apparently women too though don't know many)who intentionally seek much younger women, bypassing women their age and only dating them (or wanting to date them)because they are younger. I don't want to date a man old enough to be my father nor do I want to only be able to date a much older man because men my age are pursuing much younger women. If I meet a much older man and we click, then fine but that is much different than having older men pursuing me simply because I am older. I mean what would I have in common with a 75 year old? By the time I retire he will likely either be dead or very old and probably feeble (though I have a healthy 101 year old great aunt but she is an exception). What would I have in common with a 60 year old man?
Well, if a man has waited until his 40s so he could "get it together" first before starting a family, then yes, he probably "needs" a woman who's younger; her fertility is limited.
I do get that some men wait until they're a bit older before they feel they can really be spouses/parents, my husband waited until he was 30 to feel like he was ready to consider all that.
Women do this too, the only difference is that our fertility is limited. I don't know that it's really anyone's "fault" for waiting if they're just trying to get their lives together, have a good career, etc. before bringing children into the equation.
His fertility might be limited too as apparently sperm kind of slows down (and causes more birth defects as he ages). Not to mention he might be sterile, or his young 25 year old wife might be, while the 45 year old woman he rejected might be able to have a baby. No one "needs" to have a child, and these men are just deluding themselves. I do understand waiting though but these men should realize like older women do and that is the possibility of having bio kids might not happen and accept it. Personally I was creeped out when I first did online dating in my late 20's and all these older men would contact me simply because of this issue, felt like they were choosing me only because of this possibility and not because of anything else. I want to be chosen because they like me, not because of fertility (or lack of it).
My issue isn't even the fact that some couples with large age gaps find love. We all know couples like this. My issue is the fact that many men (and apparently women too though don't know many)who intentionally seek much younger women, bypassing women their age and only dating them (or wanting to date them)because they are younger. I don't want to date a man old enough to be my father nor do I want to only be able to date a much older man because men my age are pursuing much younger women. If I meet a much older man and we click, then fine but that is much different than having older men pursuing me simply because I am older. I mean what would I have in common with a 75 year old? By the time I retire he will likely either be dead or very old and probably feeble (though I have a healthy 101 year old great aunt but she is an exception). What would I have in common with a 60 year old man?
To an extent I get you but as regards the bolded above, if you're in your 40s and want to be married but aren't yet, then you too have been bypassing people.
Just as many of us women would turn down much older men, some men will turn down older women or even women their age.
This is a personal thing for you, you wish your dating pool were larger. Many people do, but it is what it is.
His fertility might be limited too as apparently sperm kind of slows down (and causes more birth defects as he ages).
Well yeah, this phenomenon (lower sperm motility and lesser sperm quality) is true (and has been documented clinically since the 1940s) and just recently sperm produced by older men has been linked to neurological issues such as autism and ADHD.
I think both men and women should be aware of this, at least if they're directly planning on having children.
It probably doesn't have much bearing on the actual attraction/lack of attraction from either side but it's worthy of note in general.
To an extent I get you but as regards the bolded above, if you're in your 40s and want to be married but aren't yet, then you too have been bypassing people.
Just as many of us women would turn down much older men, some men will turn down older women or even women their age.
This is a personal thing for you, you wish your dating pool were larger. Many people do, but it is what it is.
Oh sure I bypassed a lot of men (some I regret), but when I did online I did get very upset when men my age bypassed me. If they had bypassed me because they didn't like me I wouldn't have care but the age thing really annoyed me. It upset me quite a bit when they would say "you have a message" and almost always it was a man 55 and up.
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When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was always meeting guys in their thirties. I didn't consider them "old" by any means...they were just a little older than me. 
