Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What the heck ever. Women wink too. It is just a way of showing your interest without having to write something right that minute. If he responds, then he, too has shown interest and you can move on from there.
Women have to go through thousands of pages of men and there is no time to message every last one.
Your points are not being validated by me. Online dating is a 2 way street and whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
If she's hoping to see that you read her profile and are not just sending a form letter, and you send a generic response, you're going to end up in the delete bin along with the rest of the men who can't be arsed to put some effort in.
I get the part about not being lazy and just taking a shotgun approach by blasting out form letters but if the point is to tell her about yourself what good does it do to repeat the same basic data over and over? I see nothing wrong with a resume/cover letter approach where you provide the bulk of the content about yourself in a "form letter" and adding a personal touch that shows you have read her profile and want to get to know her not just someone.
I always found it ironic when the women who complained that guys sent unimaginative messages were sending me messages saying "hi." Except for 1 woman, I've never received a message from a woman that showed any kind of effort. I had one that sent me a really good message and one who replied to my message with a great message. unfortunately both of them were very unattractive.
Advice to men: If you aren't attractive, don't waste your time online.
Maybe you'd get better responses if you worked on your profile. I got short messages because my profile was awful. When I changed it, I heard from women who seemed interested in what I had to write.
Like Lilac said, it's not that hard to write 2-3 sentences. Most people just want to know that you've actually read the profile instead of just looking at the pictures. A wink just seems like a glance across the bar. Unless you're just that stunning, she's probably not going to come over and talk to you.
Maybe you'd get better responses if you worked on your profile. I got short messages because my profile was awful. When I changed it, I heard from women who seemed interested in what I had to write.
Like Lilac said, it's not that hard to write 2-3 sentences. Most people just want to know that you've actually read the profile instead of just looking at the pictures. A wink just seems like a glance across the bar. Unless you're just that stunning, she's probably not going to come over and talk to you.
^^^This.
One ingredient I really find missing, in so many posts complaining about dating, is that perception is everything. No one knows your intent but you, and how you think you come across to someone is open to their interpretation. You need to care about how you're being perceived by others, what impression you're making.
You wink at a woman across a bar. She might think you have something in your eye. You wink at someone online, they may think it's cute, or they may see it as taking the lazy way out, that it's nothing more significant than a "like" on FB.
If someone is so unwilling to write a paragraph in hopes of peaking someone's interest, than what are they doing online dating? Really, if you're lazy about finding dates, you're creating the impression that you're not someone who is willing to put in any effort, and all relationships take effort. Is that the impression you want others to have about you?
Maybe you'd get better responses if you worked on your profile. I got short messages because my profile was awful. When I changed it, I heard from women who seemed interested in what I had to write.
I'll let you in on a secret, your profile really doesn't matter much. I've experimented a lot with profiles and come to the conclusion that men and women barely read profiles these days. I've found that having a shirtless with a bad profile actually leads to significantly more success than a good profile with normal pics. Pics are 80% of the online dating game. Your profile barely matters compared to your pictures.
sorry, i'm not a believer in writing a short email that indicates i've read your profile just so you can "not respond". i read profiles before i wink, just like you read profiles before you decide to delete a wink.
i got it about the effort, but my profile usually indicates that i'm not "lazy" in that i have an outgoing and social lifestyle. Cmon, women can tell when a guy has social skills, even from an online profile.
stop making guys burn time and energy so that you can feel he has "made an effort" to make you feel special. if a guy is interested, he is interested. winking back takes just as much energy on your part as deleting. it's mean to ask a guy to step up and "make an effort", so that you can rejected him by not answering the door. At least when i approach women in person I know if she is interested or rejects me.
if you think a message saying "hey, i read your profile and noticed you like [insert whatever], me too! i think that's a good sign " makes any more difference than a wink, you are kidding yourself. Oh, you meant something else? like if i wrote 2-5 three sentences about your profile and what we have in common, then i still don't get a reply or even know you read it? why make a guy wait until he figures it out that you're never going to reply.
Guys should just reject the plea to "just send me an email showing you read my profile", or maybe there should be buttons for "winking cuz i read your profile" and "thanks for the wink, not interested". haha
When I see a gal I really like, I write details. I use their profile to write a few sentences about their movie/music/travel etc. Why not? Its also a great way to show some humor as well.
"Hi there, how are you doing?" I get some "unattractive" women who message me sometimes with some simple crap like that. I'm already not interested (not into heavy chicks) but at least show some effort!
When I try, I get about a 25% reply rate I'd say. I will say I'm above average looking and I have amazing photos. I've done alot of traveling and I get alot of love from my traveling photos.
In short, don't be boring. If your profile, pics, and/or message is boring...you're not gonna get a reply.
Yes it was a rant of sorts as I had seen enough of comments on the women's dating profiles, and just read one on here too. LOL
Well you know? Women can be just as shallow and picky as men. Bottom line.
As far as the OkCupid article, I read that. I also recall women were just as picky as guys. And if you read what I wrote, average women are catapulted up higher with trick photography and the sheer number of messages they get! They can afford to picky as hell.
How exactly do you define "shallow"? Everyone has different criteria for choosing a partner. Your criteria for choosing a partner may not be exactly what I am looking for. Doesn't mean it's shallow...it just means everyone has different tastes.
The phenomena of 'winks' in online dating feels too much to me like some sort of virtual cat-call of wolf whistle. I can't explain it, but there's something about it that feels dehumanizing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
" makes any more difference than a wink, you are kidding yourself. Oh, you meant something else? like if i wrote 2-5 three sentences about your profile and what we have in common, then i still don't get a reply or even know you read it? why make a guy wait until he figures it out that you're never going to reply.
