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Is there a name for it? Serial matrimonist?
I'd be cool with it only if I were one. Since I'm not, no way. Wouldn't even date a guy. Can't help it, old school and take these things seriously.
I have a friend who is on marriage No. 4, and this one has lasted. The first was her crazy hs boyfriend, and they were divorced before they were 23. Then she lived with a man for 14 years, they got married, and two months later he died of a massive heart attack. Within a year she met someone and became pregnant, and since she was in her late 30s, she figured this was her only chance to have a child, and they got married. He was controlling and a heavy drinker, though, so she eventually divorced him. (He died a few years later when she was already married to the last one.
Her sister's husband introduced her to one of his friends and BAM. This marriage has last almost 15 years, and this man was more of a father to her son than his natural father. She seems happy, has the lovely home she always wanted, and they seem to love each other still.
You never know.
Then there was my friend's sister, who found out that her husband and the father of her son had never been married before, but he did have six other children with six different women...
That marriage ended when one of her neighbors knocked on the door and told her she was pregnant and that her husband was the father.
I've been married too many times (7 to be exact). I can tell you that I am embarrassed by it. But I can tell you the reasons why and why I don't want to do it again. I always marry needy people with issues that I think I can fix and THEY think I can fix. 3 times I married people with substance abuse problems (alcohol). That is narcissism kind of. I have been cheated on twice and did that twice as well as retaliation. That is on me. I own a small business and it consumes a lot of my time which has caused problems in the past. Communication is a huge issue for me. Both parties need to be on the same page and frequently aren't. That causes problems. There are different issues for each marriage but we miss a couple of things as we get older with relationships. The more times we get divorced, the easier it is to do. My first two marriages I worked MUCH harder to keep it going, to the point of dealing with their affairs and protecting them regardless of their bad behavior. We also, eventually, refuse to be a doormat for anybody. We also aren't willing to take as much verbal abuse. I have always given more than I have received but apparently that hasn't been enough. I am romantic at heart and believe there is a right person out there, but with my track record, it is obvious that I'm not good at selecting who that is. If I was going to marry me, I would want spend a lot of time with me, before signing on that dotted line. I want to be with someone, but the possibility exists that in my exuberance and past neediness, I may have run out of chances to have a good marriage.
A close friend of my wife is in her late 40s and has fallen in love with a recently divorced man. We met them for lunch and they seem very much in love by how they communicate with each other. After 9 months there is talk about marriage. I would say go for it because they seem compatible and seem like a couple but then I found out he had been married and divorced four times. He must be able to charm the women but can't stay with them.
What do you think of men or women who have been married and divorced multiple times? How many divorces would raise a red flag? 2, 3, 4, 5, or more?
I am sure each of his ex wives thought their relationship would be different! But the ending was the same. But maybe my wife's friend, #5 will be the exception.
Let me think about that..NO! Not only NO, but HELL NO!
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