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I just divorced a man who had been married three times before me. We lasted 17 years under the same roof. It was my first marriage. I was 44 at the time, and thought we would last forever. But his drinking and alcoholism ruined our marriage. He had deep-seated issues he never dealt with. Our communication broke down, and he never wanted to get help for his drinking problem because according to him, "he" didn't have a problem, "I did". It's always that way with an alcoholic who refuses help. If you are dating a man that drinks, run away as fast as you can. If you don't, you're guaranteed a lifetime of misery. Yes, he seemed like a very nice and good person at first. But I learned through the years how sneaky he could be, and he turned out to be very psychologically and emotionally abusive as well. He knew exactly what I was divorcing him for, but did he care? Of course not. Booze is the number one love of his life.
A close friend of my wife is in her late 40s and has fallen in love with a recently divorced man. We met them for lunch and they seem very much in love by how they communicate with each other. After 9 months there is talk about marriage. I would say go for it because they seem compatible and seem like a couple but then I found out he had been married and divorced four times. He must be able to charm the women but can't stay with them.
What do you think of men or women who have been married and divorced multiple times? How many divorces would raise a red flag? 2, 3, 4, 5, or more?
I am sure each of his ex wives thought their relationship would be different! But the ending was the same. But maybe my wife's friend, #5 will be the exception.
HOW did the previous 4 marriages end? Were any of the prior wives suprizing deaths under unnatural circumstances? Sizeable life insurance policies? Enquiring minds want to know.
Was one of the marriages just so somebody could get their citizenship/greencard?
Marriages and divorces are (mostly) public events, if someone was motivated, it wouldn't be too hard to discover licenses (dates) and court documents (judgements and support orders), without the knowledge or consent of the man in question. You might even go so far as to interview the ex wives, or hire someone else to.
It seems a 4-time divorcee would be under crushing cumulative alimony and child support judgements. Jus' Sayin.
I just divorced a man who had been married three times before me. We lasted 17 years under the same roof. It was my first marriage. I was 44 at the time, and thought we would last forever. But his drinking and alcoholism ruined our marriage. He had deep-seated issues he never dealt with. Our communication broke down, and he never wanted to get help for his drinking problem because according to him, "he" didn't have a problem, "I did". It's always that way with an alcoholic who refuses help. If you are dating a man that drinks, run away as fast as you can. If you don't, you're guaranteed a lifetime of misery. Yes, he seemed like a very nice and good person at first. But I learned through the years how sneaky he could be, and he turned out to be very psychologically and emotionally abusive as well. He knew exactly what I was divorcing him for, but did he care? Of course not. Booze is the number one love of his life.
Thank goodness you got away. Leaving him is the best thing you could have done. But, with all due respect, didn't you have serious doubts about a man who'd been divorced 3 times? By the age of 44? If you don't mind my asking, how did he explain the 3 divorces?
I was serious about someone who had been divorced twice. He kept telling me he had been waiting for me all his life. Then, after I moved in with him, his interest was not so much on me, he was mesmerized by younger attractive women and he was old enough to be their father. He was not gazing at me longingly anymore. He was at them, and right in front of me, as if he was in a trance. This hurt me so much. I told him, look all you like, but please have enough respect for me to just not do it so much right in front of me. He couldn't stop. I eventually forced myself not to look in his direction hardly at all when we were out in public to spare myself hurt feelings. I couldn't go with the man anywhere. I now know that he probably cannot help himself. I won't be wife #3 though. That is someone else's "dream".
(Interestingly enough, my Mom said after meeting him for the first time and knowing none of the above, told me...."He is not in love with you. He thinks he can get any woman he wants." She said this after being around him just for a little while. She is amazing!) Sorry if I got a bit off topic. I will say that I have been married one time, and have no desire to ever marry again.
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Just Divorced a Drunk
