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I've been married too many times (7 to be exact). I can tell you that I am embarrassed by it. But I can tell you the reasons why and why I don't want to do it again. I always marry needy people with issues that I think I can fix and THEY think I can fix. 3 times I married people with substance abuse problems (alcohol). That is narcissism kind of. I have been cheated on twice and did that twice as well as retaliation. That is on me. I own a small business and it consumes a lot of my time which has caused problems in the past. Communication is a huge issue for me. Both parties need to be on the same page and frequently aren't. That causes problems. There are different issues for each marriage but we miss a couple of things as we get older with relationships. The more times we get divorced, the easier it is to do. My first two marriages I worked MUCH harder to keep it going, to the point of dealing with their affairs and protecting them regardless of their bad behavior. We also, eventually, refuse to be a doormat for anybody. We also aren't willing to take as much verbal abuse. I have always given more than I have received but apparently that hasn't been enough. I am romantic at heart and believe there is a right person out there, but with my track record, it is obvious that I'm not good at selecting who that is. If I was going to marry me, I would want spend a lot of time with me, before signing on that dotted line. I want to be with someone, but the possibility exists that in my exuberance and past neediness, I may have run out of chances to have a good marriage.
So when you meet women, do you tell them? Do they run away or are they cool with it?
Someone having married more than twice or never by the age of 50 are both equally red flags IMO.
My brother married 4...every time it was the same (type/subservient ) woman. He was the problem they weren't.
The 5th time he met 'his match'. She was hesitant and even a little insecure but intelligent and determined.
I think they're over the 20 year mark now.
Many years ago I knew a guy friend we use to go to dinner, concerts. He was really smart, successful, handsome and quite charming. He was about ten years older.
He traveled a lot for his work and had a lot of women friends. I knew this and wasn't going to try and change him, however, he wanted to get serious and started talking about marriage.
I said to him I'm not thinking about marriage and knew he wouldn't be able to be faithful. He then tells me he's been married three times. Yikes I thought !
I realized in some of the conversations we had how differently we saw relationships. He kinda looked at relationships like if it doesn't work out then just divorce. Where I see it quite differently, a couples must go to great lengths to work it out.
We would never be quite on the same page, in so many areas, in a committed relationship. All the signs were there for me to already know this. That's why our friendship worked well.
This is a big RED Flag. Why don’t you live with him for a while and see if the shine wears off? I don’t think this is a situation you need to rush into. If it lasts a year or so then maybe talk Marriage time is your friend with this guy.
I think after three divorces, for your own good, you should lose the right to marry because obviously you don’t know what the hell you are doing.
Lol. I was married & divorced three times. Decided I wasn't good marriage material & have been single now for over ,20 years. Best decision I ever made.
My son told me one, Mom, don't get married again. You're not good at that. How right he was.
No...no....NO... and one more for good measure....NO!!!
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