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Hey look... I just wanna say I think you sound like an amazing gal. I'm a 27 year old woman and I think you need to definitely just be yourself for the rest of your life, and this does not necessarily mean you'll be alone for the rest of your life. Run. Do what you love, be passionate.
You sound like a very special and sensitive woman to me. You loved your boyfriend very very very deeply and what you had with him was beautiful. You got the chance to actually be with your first love. You're lucky, so many people don't get the opportunity, or they don't even know what it feels like to have love and sex like that. That's why all these commenters are confused, and they're acting like somethings wrong with you.
But there's nothing wrong with you. You had an actual real sexual attraction to a man, it was deep, surreal, fantastic. The truth is it just seems hard to feel that way about most guys. You have a very passionate, sensitive, emotional sexuality like I do. And the entire world will make it seem like there's something wrong with you.
I don't feel like I'm getting over a lost love, but I feel the same as you do. I feel tired of dating, I don't want to have any new sex partners. I'm still sexual with myself to some degree, and I'm in school.
I don't feel nearly as well disciplined as you sound I'd estimate lol. I personally think you sound like you kick ass and could be in the army.
I think you are heart broken, but don't be afraid to ask yourself this and listen fir the answer. It's true you might be running so much and also running away from yourself. You sound like an amazing person with lots of passion to give, and I think you know you would like to be in love again.
So even if it seems totally unlikely or possible to love again right now, so what. It will again some day, but you might get bored first. For some reason people are led to believe we must always be searching for someone.... Well in order to be there for whoever that is, we've got to know who we are first.
And I think what you're feeling is a real drive to find yourself. I feel the same way. I believe a woman can only find herself outside of a relationship with a man.
So folks, I have a question for you. Has anyone out there ever experienced just a total lack of interest in anything having to do with dating, getting into a relationship, or even having sex for that matter?
I sometimes wonder if my lack of interest in dating is just a wall I've put up to prevent that from ever happening to me again. In general, I do not let guys get very close at all. While I have several groups of friends, it's pretty hard for me to let anyone get TOO close, even women.
Hey, I know you posted this a few years back, but I googled "I have no interest in relationships" because honestly I don't and never have. This came up as the first result.
I just wanted you to know you are not weird for not having any interest in romantic relationships. You seem to have a really healthy lifestyle and good self esteem. You also have a sensible outlook on life. These qualities combined are uncommon, and may be some people will have a hard time understanding why you would choose not to be in a relationship.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. I never had a bad break up, but I have the belief that most relationships are only maintained by facilitating delusions about the person you are with or else changing your mindset and beliefs to get along peacefully with the other person.
For instance, a lifelong democrat suddenly decides "I was republican all along, I just didn't realize it."
"I was considering going vegan anyway"
"I've always been interested in that religion"
"Having all joint accounts is liberating!"
"He didn't like my friends, and my friends didn't like him, but I can't grow old with my friends"
etc etc all kinds of nonsense.
For me, it's mostly the fact that every marriage I've seen has ended in divorce or absolute drama.
The kids end up like pawns or cargo being shipped back and forth, getting used for revenge.
Fights about money and how to spend it, never ending.
Losing touch with life long friends because the husband (or wife) doesn't like the friend.
In Laws who don't know how to butt out.
People will defend marriage/dating to marry saying "what about love" blah blah blah.
But love is like a euphoria, after a couple of years, the fog starts to fade and you realize what you're really dealing with.
For the same reasons (plus additional other reasons) I have no interest in physical/sexual relationships with anyone. To be honest the more I have learned over time about what men (and sometimes women) get from sex, the political mind games involved with the power dynamics of physical relationships, and the just plain disgusting expectations most men seem to have, my sex drive has gone from low to zero.
And I feel like there are always going to be people who don't get it. People who (like my relatives) say, that you are going to eventually meet someone who will "change everything", want you to change your mind and end up with any old body so they can feel less foolish about being in a relationship. Or, in the cases of those who are not in relationships (with good reason) who defend relationships in hopes that they will trick you or someone like you into one (for sex really) will try to make you feel ashamed for your choice in hopes of knocking down your self-image(because the lower your self esteem, the more likely you will be to accept *them* 'as they are').
Romantic love is an illusion. A means to an end.
Most relationships only exist because people are afraid of being judged for being alone.
This thread brings up a very interesting discussion about M?F relationships in America. A similar phenomena has already happened in Japan. Both men and women are checking out when it comes to sex/relationships. It makes sense when you think about. Lots of adult men and women have been part of broken homes. They've had hurt and pain from relationships where their bf/gf cheated on them, abused them, or just didn't love them and used them only for their own selfish pleasure. So they've decided they'd be happier single than with a mate, because the mate brings nothing but temporary fun but long term pain. Among men its called MGTOW, but it makes sense that women would also do this.
I have a friend that this applies to: He came from a home with drunkeness, a bad family life and I have no idea what else. HE's got three brothers that all ended up on drugs and alcohol. He never wanted a family or a wife after that experience.
IMHO, the society has sold the American public the notion that married is always better and we should all have 2 kids, house in the burbs, good corporate job, two cars, vacations and cruises and have all the other symbols of wealth and success. And don't forget the men who are sold on the romantic notions that a woman will guarantee happiness and that sex is the greatest thing ever, and that going sexless is a clear sign of a loser. Children also are no guarantee of happiness, and in truth, take a lot of hard work and sacrifice to raise correctly. In truth, many people are miserable being married and IMHO, at least 75% of people married long term are not happy. All that stuff doesn't make anyone happy. People are waking up to the reality with the alternative media.
I think the OP is fine the way she is. I hope she doesn't fall for lies that we are sold by our society. I would fear that both herself and a future husband could end up both miserable
Last edited by augiedogie; 09-14-2016 at 11:09 AM..
So folks, I have a question for you. Has anyone out there ever experienced just a total lack of interest in anything having to do with dating, getting into a relationship, or even having sex for that matter?
I am almost 25 and a good portion of my friends are engaged, married, dating someone, in a relationship, or just going on dates or "seeing somebody." Or, even if they're not, they're actively looking, talking about guys or girls, etc. All my cousins, siblings, and family members are married or dating someone.
I just have NO interest.
At the risk of sounding conceited, I am a very attractive, fit/thin female who is talkative and outgoing, so it's not like I "can't get" a guy and have therefore sworn off men. I just am not interested. I enjoy being single, working, doing my running, hanging out with friends (of both genders) and am a very social person with an active and busy lifestyle. I have never been the girl who dreamed of weddings or wanted to get married, and I have never, ever wanted children, still do not. I feel that I am happier just doing my own thing.
I have only ever had two relationships, and one I do not count because it lasted only a few months and I was a teenager. The other one ended in so much pain, betrayal, and hurt for me that I can't imagine going through that again. I sometimes wonder if my lack of interest in dating is just a wall I've put up to prevent that from ever happening to me again. In general, I do not let guys get very close at all. While I have several groups of friends, it's pretty hard for me to let anyone get TOO close, even women.
I also feel like I have a complete lack of interest in sex. I am not a virgin, I have had sex before, and while it was very meaningful with the man I loved and I enjoyed it somewhat, I have never felt like it was this amazing thing that some people make it out to be. Quite frankly, I could live without it the rest of my life and not really care. In fact, I'd rather not have it, because I always worried slightly about pregnancy when it did happen, even protected. I have been celibate for months now (my choice) and don't miss it at all.
Does anyone else ever experience this? Is it normal? I feel like there is something wrong with me because I don't know any other girls that feel this way.
Nope there is nothing wrong with you.In my opinion..you're feeling this way due to that horrible last relationship you were in...all that hurt and betrayal...yeah who would want to be in any relationship after that...BUT in time..your own time it will happen again.You should NEVER let a bad relationship ever dictate your present and your future.There are lots of horrible people out there who shouldn't be in relationships because they are douche bags. One day without knowing it..you will meet a good decent guy who will make you feel like wanting to experience those feelings again.Enjoy your single life and friends and just keep being you.
I don't blame you for not wanting a relationship with men. They are just not worth the time or effort. Just enjoy being single and doing own things keeping busy as well. Thanks I am not the only one at least.
This thread brings up a very interesting discussion about M?F relationships in America. A similar phenomena has already happened in Japan. Both men and women are checking out when it comes to sex/relationships. It makes sense when you think about. Lots of adult men and women have been part of broken homes. They've had hurt and pain from relationships where their bf/gf cheated on them, abused them, or just didn't love them and used them only for their own selfish pleasure. So they've decided they'd be happier single than with a mate, because the mate brings nothing but temporary fun but long term pain. Among men its called MGTOW, but it makes sense that women would also do this.
I have a friend that this applies to: He came from a home with drunkeness, a bad family life and I have no idea what else. HE's got three brothers that all ended up on drugs and alcohol. He never wanted a family or a wife after that experience.
IMHO, the society has sold the American public the notion that married is always better and we should all have 2 kids, house in the burbs, good corporate job, two cars, vacations and cruises and have all the other symbols of wealth and success. And don't forget the men who are sold on the romantic notions that a woman will guarantee happiness and that sex is the greatest thing ever, and that going sexless is a clear sign of a loser. Children also are no guarantee of happiness, and in truth, take a lot of hard work and sacrifice to raise correctly. In truth, many people are miserable being married and IMHO, at least 75% of people married long term are not happy. All that stuff doesn't make anyone happy. People are waking up to the reality with the alternative media.
I think the OP is fine the way she is. I hope she doesn't fall for lies that we are sold by our society. I would fear that both herself and a future husband could end up both miserable
Aren't you married?
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not alone
