Why don't women ask men out? (date, versus, feelings, different)
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It has always appeared to me that they dont want to risk rejection. And men deal with it more often. Some women I know have even commented that "it's the man's place to take the lead in that." yeah, sounds ridiculously archaic to me too, with all the equality and liberation going on.
Except that human mating rituals, attraction, etc (while they can be cultural) are based in biology. You can't change biology with modern notions. But even despite that, some women do ask men out (although I am not one of them). And as I pointed out, women are rejected all the time. Do you really think every women always gets whatever man she wants?
I'm still waiting to see a woman approach a man in public. It doesn't have to be me, it just has to happen.
I'm out in public places often enough, so it shouldn't be out of the norm, but I've yet to see it happen. Until I do, I'm calling it hogwash.
Hot guys get approached all the time. Especially at bars.
I have witnessed it multiple multiple times with my own eyes with 2 friends in particular. And neither of these guys is a model, so I can only imagine what it is like for male models.
I even witnessed a woman tell a guy within 60 seconds she wanted to sleep with him, and all he had to do was say the word and they could leave immediately. Literally, I don't mean probably, or potentially. She said in exact words in a non-PG manner that she wanted to go home with the guy.
It happens to hot guys so much more frequently than people realize. I am a big advocate of the 30/70 percentage rule, merely based of of my observation of how frequently hot guys are pursued by women. And attractive, successful women do this. In fact, those are the ones that mainly pursue the hot guys. Very very seldom does an average or less than average looking women approach a hot guy.
Last edited by AverageGuy2006; 09-16-2013 at 11:59 AM..
Except that human mating rituals, attraction, etc (while they can be cultural) are based in biology. You can't change biology with modern notions. But even despite that, some women do ask men out (although I am not one of them). And as I pointed out, women are rejected all the time. Do you really think every women always gets whatever man she wants?
You know biology is used to say that women should stay at home, could not hold leadership position and other things that "modern notions" don't care about yet dating is except from this?
Its a matter of choice if you don't want to pursue then don't pursue but linking your choices to biology just seems like to much justifying your position and you are opening a bigger can of worms than you think you are.
You know biology is used to say that women should stay at home, could not hold leadership position and other things that "modern notions" don't care about yet dating is except from this?
Its a matter of choice if you don't want to pursue then don't pursue but linking your choices to biology just seems like to much justifying your position and you are opening a bigger can of worms than you think you are.
Perhaps. But I think you are thinking about things though the lens of Western History and not Anthropology. For example, if you look at mankind, as a whole, though thousands of years, not all cultures have said women should be "stay at home mom's without work." In the US, this is actually a notion that only came about in the 20th Century (in the 19th Century and before, women worked... usually along side their husbands and other family members on a family farm, family business, etc).
Anyway, I am getting off subject. Pretty much all cultures thought a long span of history have courting rituals centered around the man pursing the woman. All species of animal have courting and mating rituals and we are no different. And in ours, males evolved to courting/pursue females. Sure we are intellignet and thinking animals, but that doesn't make us immune from our biology. And as much as gender equality when it comes to dating is a popular idea modern idea, we are not going to undo such an ingrained mechanism in a short period of time. Sure it can change, but for most, it just won't feel right. We can rationalize it... but it's like rationalizing feelings.
It's the whole nature vs nurture argument. You think it's nurture that drives human courtship. I disagree and think when it comes to sex, courtship, etc "nature" still rules supreme.
It has always appeared to me that they dont want to risk rejection. And men deal with it more often. Some women I know have even commented that "it's the man's place to take the lead in that." yeah, sounds ridiculously archaic to me too, with all the equality and liberation going on.
Equality just gives the choice, it doesn't force people to believe a certain way. Just because a woman has the ability to ask a man out doesn't mean she'll want to or be obligated to do so. Can she ask a man out? Sure! Can she pay for the first date? Sure! But if she chooses not to or lets her partner do it it doesn't mean that she doesn't want equal pay at work...if that makes sense.
I'm a 'liberal feminist' and yet, I'm fairly submissive in my current relationship because that's what works for us and that's what we prefer. He likes taking the lead for most things and he is an excellent decision maker so I let him take the reigns. It doesn't mean I don't believe in liberation or equality...but I am happy that I have the opportunity to make that CHOICE when it comes to my personal life and that it wasn't made for me by society.
Except that human mating rituals, attraction, etc (while they can be cultural) are based in biology. You can't change biology with modern notions. But even despite that, some women do ask men out (although I am not one of them). And as I pointed out, women are rejected all the time. Do you really think every women always gets whatever man she wants?
Yes, some men do think that.
I'd say that well over half of the men that post in this folder believe that.
One of the things you mentioned was biology.
I also believe that it's chemistry.
We're attracted to people by their scent.
This is why I wonder why people drench themselves in chemical fragrance products.
Just seems that it's self-defeating in the long run, and can waste a lot of time.
Equality just gives the choice, it doesn't force people to believe a certain way. Just because a woman has the ability to ask a man out doesn't mean she'll want to or be obligated to do so. Can she ask a man out? Sure! Can she pay for the first date? Sure! But if she chooses not to or lets her partner do it it doesn't mean that she doesn't want equal pay at work...if that makes sense.
In a way, all that choice muddies the waters of the dating landscape more so than when there were stricter gender roles. Some women have absolutely no problem asking men out and paying for dates, and other women wouldn't dream of that. Similarly, some men don't want to shoulder all the dating initiatives, but others would be insulted by a woman taking the lead. Which is all fine and good, but it's harder to tell who's on the same page from the outset.
Equality just gives the choice, it doesn't force people to believe a certain way. Just because a woman has the ability to ask a man out doesn't mean she'll want to or be obligated to do so. Can she ask a man out? Sure! Can she pay for the first date? Sure! But if she chooses not to or lets her partner do it it doesn't mean that she doesn't want equal pay at work...if that makes sense.
I'm a 'liberal feminist' and yet, I'm fairly submissive in my current relationship because that's what works for us and that's what we prefer. He likes taking the lead for most things and he is an excellent decision maker so I let him take the reigns. It doesn't mean I don't believe in liberation or equality...but I am happy that I have the opportunity to make that CHOICE when it comes to my personal life and that it wasn't made for me by society.
Get it?
But what if me as the employer does not want to give her equal pay, that should be my choice too, women only want equality when it benifits them. They dont want to endure any of the hard ship if they can help it. That is why feminism has no credibility anymore. Thats where us not so hot guys use our edge, we are spending time building buisnesses/connections so when it comes to hot women that reject us why should we be nice to them in the work place and give them equal pay and opprotunity unless her qualifications are through the roof and she will make me alot of money?
But what if me as the employer does not want to give her equal pay, that should be my choice too, women only want equality when it benifits them. They dont want to endure any of the hard ship if they can help it. That is why feminism has no credibility anymore. Thats where us not so hot guys use our edge, we are spending time building buisnesses/connections so when it comes to hot women that reject us why should we be nice to them in the work place and give them equal pay and opprotunity unless her qualifications are through the roof and she will make me alot of money?
WTF are you talking about? As an employer, all of your employees with similar skill sets and job titles should be making similar salaries, regardless of whether or not you feel you've been wronged by hot women. Otherwise you'll be spending a lot of your time in court.
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