Why don't women ask men out? (girlfriends, cities, emotionally, personal)

[freemkt]

Originally Posted by nightlysparrow

You can be the sweetest, most caring woman but if you don't look like Angelina Jolie or have a slim body then no man will ever approach you. Or he might hook up in secret from his friends but nothing serious.

Oh for crying out loud.

The top 60 percent of women are getting approached left and right. At least the top 50 percent below the top 10 percent who are too intimidating for most men to ask.

[Molli]

Because we don't have to?

Only time I have asked a man out is if we had gone on several dates and I think at some point its my turn.

[Dewdroplet76]

Because there are tons of men that like to go after what they want.

[udolipixie]

I don't ask out guys because I have plenty of enjoyable options without doing so. As well as I find most guys to be bitter resentful misogynists eager to use/abuse/mistreat a gal so I'd rather not risk putting myself at a disadvantage by approaching and possibly encountering what seems to be a plentiful of them. I mean there's already seeming some male comradery on beatdowning gals for 'mouthing off' and not paying gals the same pay for the same job as a guy because apparently a gal is not entitled to good money if a guy is not entitled to get laid (some guys take being a business owner as an opportunity to wage discriminate/shortchange a gal they find attractive since hot gals rejected them they see no reason to be nice to completely different attractive gals in the workplace or give them equal pay).

[dave nz]

I don't mind the way it is. How it usually works for me is she drops subtle hints. Anywhere from a smile to flirting to hearing it from someone else. Then I know it will probably go somewhere if I ask her for her number or out.

Without those hints though, I would be lost!

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Because there are tons of men that like to go after what they want.

Hmmmmmmm............

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Because there are tons of men that like to go after what they want.

dew while some of this may be true...the scales have tipped in the past 15 yrs..

most guys go thru work "sensitivity" training,,where looking at a woman can be sexual harrassment, along with this,,,,you dont know if a woman is a lesbian, a manhater, etc..
so, many men play it safe,,,, just so we dont OFFEND anyone..
i use to love joking around at work,,,and most of the women did too, not anymore,,,, not if harrassment can get me fired in a heartbeat,,,based on interpretation..

and - men do NOT get offended if a woman approaches them,,,,,many woman get very offended ...even if the guy has manners..


so yes, women should ask a guy out- as a gender, women have tried relentlessly to even the playing field, to not be judged as frail little girls,,or as an object,,
now you've got it,,, a more level playing field than ever before..,so,,now its your turn to approach a guy if you like him..

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

dew while some of this may be true...the scales have tipped in the past 15 yrs..

most guys go thru work "sensitivity" training,,where looking at a woman can be sexual harrassment, along with this,,,,you dont know if a woman is a lesbian, a manhater, etc..
so, many men play it safe,,,, just so we dont OFFEND anyone..
i use to love joking around at work,,,and most of the women did too, not anymore,,,, not if harrassment can get me fired in a heartbeat,,,based on interpretation..

and - men do NOT get offended if a woman approaches them,,,,,many woman get very offended ...even if the guy has manners..


so yes, women should ask a guy out- as a gender, women have tried relentlessly to even the playing field, to not be judged as frail little girls,,or as an object,,
now you've got it,,, a more level playing field than ever before..,so,,now its your turn to approach a guy if you like him..

This has nothing to do with it. I have been hit on more times than I can count - and I've always had a boyfriend. Men asking me out has never been an issue of gender equality. Me not having to ask men out has never been because I'm afraid of a man getting offended or because I don't feel that it's "my turn." Most men, in my experience, have gone after what they wanted - and not because of any action or inaction on my part. If everyone I wanted to go out with - except maybe 1 or 2 guys - since I was about 18 either made a move on me or asked me out before I even had a chance - this has nothing to do with me not asking men out. Like I said - in my experience - men go after what they want.

[ohio_peasant]

Originally Posted by krazykatlady

Generally, I believe that men were created to hunt and women were created to be the hunted. Is, was and always shall be.

Perhaps at a glacial pace change will eventually come. But not within our lifetime.

Originally Posted by jillabean

Men, if you are that confused if a woman is interested in you and you don't think women every initiate things. I suggest reading some books or articles on "how to know if a woman is flirting with you."

I'm not convinced that theoretical knowledge is particularly helpful. What matters is situational awareness, and that can't be learned from a book - at least not for adults.

Originally Posted by jillabean

Except that human mating rituals, attraction, etc (while they can be cultural) are based in biology. You can't change biology with modern notions.

And this is the salient observation of the entire thread!

Originally Posted by RedOmega

You know biology is used to say that women should stay at home, could not hold leadership position and other things that "modern notions" don't care about yet dating is except from this?

A very valid objection. I would counter that taking a leadership position, excelling in one's career and so forth, are conscious, planned moves. These are decisions at which one arrives after much contemplation. And surely nobody on this forum would assert that women are less capable than men of contemplation. However, dating – or the portion of dating consisting of approaching a stranger – involves precious little contemplation. It's an instinctive move, a visceral move. And our instincts betray the confines of our biology. So, yes, I would emphatically state that it's simultaneously possible for women to be CEOs, prime ministers, eminent scientists – and yet, be reluctant to approach men in a social setting, with the intention of initiating a date.

Originally Posted by jillabean

Pretty much all cultures thought a long span of history have courting rituals centered around the man pursing the woman. All species of animal have courting and mating rituals and we are no different. And in ours, males evolved to courting/pursue females. Sure we are intellignet and thinking animals, but that doesn't make us immune from our biology.

Yes. And while we've "evolved" in the sense of female suffrage, female politicians and leaders of industry, female professors and surgeons and ship captains, in some regards we have some evolving left to do. One such thing is dating.

Originally Posted by RedOmega

Most relationships in the beginning were business transactions arranged relationships dominate human interaction compared to courting.

Indeed. And at least in my own little fantasy world, I so dearly wish that a relationship could still be regarded as a business transaction. I don't mean prostitution. I mean a "power couple" marrying to pool resources and to truly build a fortune together.

Originally Posted by onihC

men also have to compete with other men.

In the words of the eminent political thinker George W. Bush, "Bring it on!" I have no qualms over competing with other men. That aspect of biology does not faze me. But female choice? The bit about how females decide which male to accept, never mind how the males sort things out amongst themselves? That one absolutely terrifies me!

[RogersParkGuy]

Originally Posted by lx1337

It is a very simple question.

Because women who are sexually assertive risk being shamed as sluts.