Why don't women ask men out? (flirts, looking, interested, difference)
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Yep it's true... but it gets boring getting rejected repeatedly and you begin to assume that rejection will always be the outcome and stop trying. The only thing that might keep you going is that you know you've made him feel like a million bucks, even if he rejects you.
Never heard about a woman being rejected. Are you guys approaching Tom Brady?
I think the mistake is a lot of men don't realize women *are* asking them out... or are at least showing interest and want to go out. Men tend to be direct, women aren't. It also plays into how most men and women (psychologically) fall in love.
Women are rejected all the time the way I see it. When a woman smiles at a man and he turns away... it's a rejection. If a woman talks to a man, laughs with him, and flirts with him and he doesn't ask for her number, it's a rejection. And yes, it happens and women are disappointed.
Another factor is something someone else hit on. A woman directly walking up to a stranger and asking him "out" is often seen as either needy or desperate. So if a woman isn't needy or desperate, she knows not to do this because she will either 1) Scare off a man she's interested in or 2) Be mistaken for someone who just wants sex. Being direct, like man, sabotages things. Although to be fair, asking a guy out seems to be more in line with what the younger crowd does (hey, I am over 35 here ) So it might be becoming more the norm with the under 30 crowd.
I read a lot... and a lot of relationship books lately. Just about every single one (one's written by men too) tell women not to pursue or ask out. Initiate, yes... but actually ask out... not so much. In most cases, it sabotages things as it takes away the male role in human courtship. It says pursuing puts pressure on a man too and makes most uncomfortable and "scares them off". And they have surveys (of men) to back it up.
Men, if you are that confused if a woman is interested in you and you don't think women every initiate things. I suggest reading some books or articles on "how to know if a woman is flirting with you." You can find lots of free ones online.
Last edited by jillabean; 09-15-2013 at 09:41 PM..
You must live nowhere near Southern California because what that doesn't happen here AT ALL. Here it IS all about LOOKS and MONEY. You can be the sweetest, most caring guy but if you don't look like Brad Pitt or have his income then no woman will ever approach you. Might let you take her out and spend money on her but nothing serious.
You can be the sweetest, most caring woman but if you don't look like Angelina Jolie or have a slim body then no man will ever approach you. Or he might hook up in secret from his friends but nothing serious.
I think the mistake is a lot of men don't realize women *are* asking them out... or are at least showing interest and want to go out. Men tend to be direct, women aren't. It also plays into how most men and women (psychologically) fall in love.
Women are rejected all the time the way I see it. When a woman smiles at a man and he turns away... it's a rejection. If a woman talks to a man, laughs with him, and flirts with him and he doesn't ask for her number, it's a rejection. And yes, it happens and women are disappointed.
A lot of guys don't really pay too much attention to stuff like this or care because they know it doesn't mean much. I've been rejected plenty of times when a girl was flirting with me/smiling at me/etc...
Personally, I just don't think women are interested in random men the way we are interested in women. They need to see his personality a lot more before they feel like that
I was asked out one time by a girl, it was a girl i didnt want to go out with, i was being "friendly" with her because a hot girl in my office said "so and so likes you, but you never say hello to her". So, being the nice guy i am ;-) i said hello to her.....she blurts out "so, do you want to go out sometime?" and i was in shock and i thought it about for a second and said "sure". She was hyperventilating when she asked me and i knew enough about her to know she was very shy and i didnt want to be the one who prevented her from ever asking a guy out again....but here's the kicker.....i asked her "geez, that was pretty bold of you to ask me out" and she said "i thought you were too shy to ask me out, so i did the asking".
Im thinking "lol" to myself, but i let her believe that was the case.
A lot of guys don't really pay too much attention to stuff like this or care because they know it doesn't mean much. I've been rejected plenty of times when a girl was flirting with me/smiling at me/etc...
Personally, I just don't think women are interested in random men the way we are interested in women. They need to see his personality a lot more before they feel like that
I think there's a lot of truth to your second statement. One of the books I read said men and women are attracted differently. I wish I had it front of me now (I got it from the library). But basically it said men and women are pretty much attracted to the same things like personality, emotional connection, common interests, appearance, etc. But we are attracted (in general) in a different order with the majority of men being attracted by looks first. I don't remember what women are attracted to first, because I didn't care, lol.
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) So it might be becoming more the norm with the under 30 crowd. 
