My child's teacher has crush on me (family, children, college)

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by jwiley

I have a situation that I really do not know how to handle, but it is fast becoming a problem for my wife, and could become a problem for my son.

I am pretty sure that my son's 2nd grade teacher has a crush on me. At 1st I thought it was all in my wife's head, and ignored it, but for the Halloween party she went out of her way to speak to me, and in front of my wife's friends treated me considerably nicer and was much friendlier to me than to any other parents. I picked up on it, despite not being all that good at being able to tell when I get hit on, but I ignored it and did not want to believe it.

To complicate things this teacher has went out of her way to make sure my wife does not feel comfortable volunteering in the classroom which is something my wife has always done with both of our kids. Unfortunately my wife's friends did not miss any of it, and brought it up to my wife.Who went from slightly annoyed/concerned to really upset about the whole mess.

Now I will say that this teacher is very attractive, younger then my wife and I, and is someone who I would have been interested in back when I was single, and my wife knows it. I have also been hit on many times over the years, but usually it is someone not a long term fixture in my life, or is a business contact and not someone that my wife spends any time around. While it is a nice boost to the ego when you get hit on, I am married and have been for a long time and have no interest in cheating on my wife. While my wife knows this, she is somewhat temperamental and I am getting concerned that she may raise hell about it.

Outside of changing my sons school, I do not know what to do about this situation, as I am concerned that my son will pay the price if my wife decides to start raising hell about this whole situation. so my question is has anybody else on here been in this situation? What can I do to keep my wife happy, while not upsetting the teacher and having my son have to deal with the problems? Is it wrong to reassure my wife that nothing will happen, but tell her repeatedly not to mention it?

That's easy. Simply keep your distance and let your wife deal with the teacher.

[Joe the Photog]

Originally Posted by Mandy612

OP, what about changing your sons class? also, was the reason a valid one the teacher gave your wife about not volunteering anymore?

Yes, by all means, the OP should pretty much turn his kids school life upside down because of what he and his wife perceive to be a problem that, even if true, does not seem to be affecting the son at all.

[Mandy612]

No, like i said in my first comment.. its not fair to change the childs school. Even changing the class is a huge deal and of course it affects the child.

But at the same time, its like, the father and the mother cant be near the teacher or the classroom because of this teacher. and thats not rite either.

i still think that the wife should stay active in the volunteering dept at school. pta, all that.
That teacher doesnt control everything and parents are always asked or encouraged to volunteer especially during the holidays where there are school plays and more activities. it just sucks that the wife cant volunteer anymore in her own sons class.

not to come off rude, but OP, Could it be possible that your wife is just a little sensitive over all this?
Its a litttle hurtful to be rejected like that and barred from the classroom, but maybe the teacher REALLY doesnt need her to volunteer in the classroom at this time.

[funymann]

This gives a whole new meaning to "meet the teacher" night.

[bellakin123]

Originally Posted by Mandy612

No, like i said in my first comment.. its not fair to change the childs school. Even changing the class is a huge deal and of course it affects the child.

But at the same time, its like, the father and the mother cant be near the teacher or the classroom because of this teacher. and thats not rite either.

i still think that the wife should stay active in the volunteering dept at school. pta, all that.
That teacher doesnt control everything and parents are always asked or encouraged to volunteer especially during the holidays where there are school plays and more activities. it just sucks that the wife cant volunteer anymore in her own sons class.

not to come off rude, but OP, Could it be possible that your wife is just a little sensitive over all this?
Its a litttle hurtful to be rejected like that and barred from the classroom, but maybe the teacher REALLY doesnt need her to volunteer in the classroom at this time.

The wife should definitely continue to volunteer with the school but according to one of the OP's posts, he said that the teacher told his wife she is no longer welcomed because their son doesn't listen when she's there but her husband is more than welcomed. Would their son listen to the teacher if dad is there instead of mom? My guess is most likely he won't. I know several SAHMs that volunteer and some of them can be a bit abrasive. Once a teacher doesn't like a parent, trust me, the parent gets banned. One parent I know cannot even chaparone class trips because the teacher doesn't like her. All over something ridiculous too. Teachers CAN control a lot of things and teachers talk to one another.

Honestly, we don't know if there's a crush at all but it's possible that the OP's wife doesn't like the teacher because as the OP stated, she is someone he would have been interested in if he wasn't married and his wife knows this. For all we know the wife could have been giving the teacher an attitude so the teacher favors dad over mom and that's all.

Maybe he's nicer than his wife, who knows? But once a teacher tells you that you're not welcomed anymore, it does hit a nerve.

[Osito]

When I did online dating, there were a lot of teachers on there. It surprised me. Teachers are some of the best people out there.

[CSD610]

Why in the world would you upset your child's life because his teacher is being unprofessional?
Leave it alone, avoid any alone time with her and tell your wife to continue to volunteer whether the teacher likes it or not.
Trust me, the teacher will find someone new when she sees that you are not taking the "I want to act like a harlot" bait.
If it is not causing issues in your marriage outside of annoying your wife there is no reason to make an actual issue out of it and if your wife wants to raise hades about it let her.

[akck]

About the only things you can do are to either stay away from school for all functions or talk to the Principal. I personally would fill in the Principal since it will help protect treatment of your son. If you do talk to the Principal, it should be both you and your wife. Otherwise, he/she may think you're over reacting. Do explain your concerns about repercussions against your son, including placement next year. Your wife volunteering is an asset to the school and Principals are more likely to be helpful.

[dave nz]

Don't encourage her and act dis-interested in her and she will get the message.

[*Sixy*]

Originally Posted by jwiley

That was my 1st thought, that with the teacher having a crush on me, it may benefit my son as he will get extra attention, and with the teacher knowing that I prefer that he needs to be challenged more he may get further ahead but my wife is more than a little upset about the situation.



Says the man that does not know my wife, especially considering she just told me that she was told 2 weeks ago that she is no longer allowed to volunteer in the classroom, supposedly because my son quits listening to the teacher, yet I am more than welcome, according to what the teacher told my wife.

Okay, for real? I am a teacher. First I have VERY limited contact with the parents in my classroom. I e-mail them once a week (distribution list, they all receive the same message) and I send home the occasional notice. Beyond that unless there is an issue, they hear from me at meet-the-teacher and open house, both of which are attended by all of the other parents.

I am thinking you are exaggerating. I just can't imagine such limited contact and knowing that someone has a crush on you from such contact.

Also, she probably said you were welcome because she didn't want to completely alienate both of you being that you all share a common goal, which is to educate your child.

And, to suggest that your son would get preferential treatment because you think she has a crush on you? Yes, because teachers can't possibly conduct themselves in a professional manner

Originally Posted by bellakin123

When it involves a child, no, it's really not all that nice because the teacher might be spiteful and punish the child.

I don't know of ANY teacher that would do this...even those that have had major issues with parents.

Originally Posted by JustJulia

There are probably tons of volunteering opportunities for your wife where she doesn't have to be in the classroom. My son's school needs people to help unload kids in the drop-off zone, supervise crosswalks, greet volunteers and visitors, help with the yearbook, work the bake sales and book fairs, etc.

Great suggestion!

Originally Posted by JoeCollege

Ten bucks says this is all in your head.

Agree!

Originally Posted by Mandy612

But on the other hand its like: why cant SHE volunteer. why are other parents allowed to but not HER.?

Because some parents don't contribute positively to the classroom. I've had my fair share of parents that had good intentions but were just not a good fit for whatever reason. I simply did not invite them back into my room.

Originally Posted by Mandy612

OP, what about changing your sons class? also, was the reason a valid one the teacher gave your wife about not volunteering anymore? Has this teacher also asked other parents to no longer volunteer?

You'd be hard-pressed to get an administration to change the class of a student simply because a parent thinks the teacher has a crush. Furthermore, she doesn't have to give a valid reason. It is her classroom and she should have control over who volunteers in her room.