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I would think the best way to put your wife's mind at ease would be to show a united front. If your wife isnt welcome to volunteer, than you shouldnt either. It isnt even a little bit fair for a teacher to allow one parent and not the other. If I were your wife, Id certainly be happy if you said that you were a team, and either you will both volunteer or neither will. As has been said, school will be over in a few months and the situation should resolve itself. Id certainly stay away from that teacher.
My mother has been a teacher for 40 years. My older sister teaches as well. I ask both of them- they both stated: ALL IN HER HEAD.
Heres what Im thinking happened...
Volunteering in a classroom (especially 2nd grade) EVERY WEEK is excessive and disruptive ... she probably simply said to her that she wasn't need THAT MUCH. Your wife heard: Not at all. She became upset and (OP said shes prone to being overly sensitive) overreacted ... not wanting to be rejected she probably concluded that SHE was not welcome but the rest of the moms (and OP) were welcome.
The "friends" that see this too are OPs wifes friends .... there is bound to be bias. Also if shes complained ... well they'll see what she paints for them.
Like the other teacher stated ... there is such limited contact that having a crush develop (or interfere) is soooo unlikely.
I think the wifes just upset at being rejected so she has to "not be the cause"
Please OP don't say anything ... just let it blow over.
I used to teach as well, and I have been volunteering in my kids' classrooms for the last 15 years.
This is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard about in a classroom, which makes me think most of it is BS.
Seriously, even if you ARE God's gift to women, as you are barely restraining yourself from saying, if a teacher flirted with a dad THAT MUCH within the short time frame of a class party, most would assume she was drunk.
DO NOT allow your son to pay the price for your ego and your wife's insecurities.
Okay, for real? I am a teacher. First I have VERY limited contact with the parents in my classroom. I e-mail them once a week (distribution list, they all receive the same message) and I send home the occasional notice. Beyond that unless there is an issue, they hear from me at meet-the-teacher and open house, both of which are attended by all of the other parents.
I totally agree with this. I have the same experience, in teaching special education at a specialized school, where parental involvement is more common than in the average mainstream public setting. Even at that rate, I have never had REGULAR face-to-face contact with the parents of kids in my classroom. I have to agree that mountains are being made of molehills, issues are being created out of nonissues, and it may well all be in the OP's head, or his spouse's. This really seems like the manufacturing of drama. I also agree that any kid's parent hanging out in my classroom on something as frequent as a weekly basis would likely be disruptive to the educational process, potentially detrimental from a behavioral standpoint, and most likely unnecessary. There is really no need for that level of frequency on parental involvement, and, really, it smacks of parents who either have issues letting go, or who are busybodies who want to micromanage the classroom.
To the OP:
Sorry this is happening to you all. Your son deserves to have his mother in his class with him, he shouldn't be penalized by his own Teacher due to her child like facination with you. She's a grown up in a Professional Career. this is bizarre
We had this situation occur about 10 years ago. I pulled our son out (although the roles were reversed) and it wasn't as severe as his Teacher actually refusing to do their job as you've described. We both continued to volunteer but it was clear what we needed to do. So we did it. Spend alot of time with your son, these are warning signs which need to be monitored. Ask him what he thinks of her and the other children. I wouldn't pull him from the school.
Our son is in College now and just learned the reason he was pulled back then. He said we made the right choice. This isn't about your spousal relationship but a clear warning sign your teacher has alterior motives that mean your child comes last. There isn't a moral obligation felt to do her job properly either.
To bar a good mother volunteering in class is very disturbing. I'm not convinced there isn't more too this.
Something is very wrong and it may or may not be related to what you think. Please don't take chances. It's not about you or your wife. It's about what is best for your son, and certainly, this isn't the type of person you want alone with your son. I don't care whether you like her, or how you've related to the Teacher, being flirty or not (no you didn't indicate such), it makes no difference. Teachers don't bar parents from working in class. And Good parents don't avoid their children's Teachers. they don't wait it out until the end of the year. Never take advice that equates to you avoiding any of your children's Teachers. You must do your job as his Father, to ensure he's safe. Ensure that his Teacher has your son's best interests at heart. If not, then you already know what to do. You and your wife need to be involved in your child's*education. I hope you keep us updated. Blessings to you and your family
Last edited by californiawomann5; 11-05-2013 at 02:48 AM..
I used to teach as well, and I have been volunteering in my kids' classrooms for the last 15 years.
This is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard about in a classroom, which makes me think most of it is BS.
Seriously, even if you ARE God's gift to women, as you are barely restraining yourself from saying, if a teacher flirted with a dad THAT MUCH within the short time frame of a class party, most would assume she was drunk.
DO NOT allow your son to pay the price for your ego and your wife's insecurities.
What in the world is this? You Do understand that blaming a father for his son's Teacher "making him pay a price" is sick? IF this Teacher makes this child "pay a price" then she needs to be fired. That's HER doing
Ego, insecurities or anything you can imagine reading doesn't justify such. That's an abusive mindset. And there is no indication his wife is "insecure". So no need for put downs. This is about his son, remember?
Last edited by californiawomann5; 11-05-2013 at 02:52 AM..
It really doesn't matter what caused this. Speculating by saying it's all BS or assuming the worst doesn't help the OP.
Anytime a Teacher wants to bar a devoted parent from their classroom thus depriving the child of having an involved mother, then it's either time to take it to the Principal or pull the child from the class. Trust me, there are always things that need doing. I was a long term Substitute for years while raising our son. I've only heard of this happening with one Teacher. And she was a very bad Teacher who eventually got fired.
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