Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is a very tricky situation, because potentially any way you would confront this would negatively affect your child and his overall experience at school.
I have had that happen, and it is impossible to tell a child that the way the teacher behaves is not about him at all. Her obvious attention toward you demonstrates that this teacher is capable of behaving in an extremely unprofessional and immature way.
An aside: this is how bullying starts and is exacerbated in the classroom -- teachers play favorites, and the favored child lords it over others, and it becomes a vicious circle throughout the school years. Inversely, if a child is NOT favored by the teacher, the kids soon learn that he is "fair game" and he becomes bullied in the classroom and playground. It's an atrocious scenario that I've seen over and over, especially when teachers have some growing up to do themselves.
I'm going to strongly suggest that you NOT give this any attention at all. Any conversation with the teacher should be strictly about your child and his progress. Never, as in NEVER, meet with the teacher alone. Only go with your wife. If she tries to take you aside, keep the conversation on track, frown and say "How is Jimmy's reading? Should we be doing more with his math skills at home? Who are the children Jimmy usually plays with, we'd like to get together with the parents to get a play group going during vacations." Send the message that any interaction with the teacher is 100% ABOUT THE CHILD.
Because, that's what you want, isn't it? Isn't it? Ultimately, this is not a middle-school love triangle. This is your child and the 3 people he should trust most in the world. It is super-important that you focus on that, and not spend any more time daydreaming about this teacher who is crushing on you, and your hotness as a mac daddy.
(To reiterate -- you may well be a special man, but teachers do this all the time, and it's only an indication of their emotional immaturity -- NOT their age)
There are some excellent points here though I only bolded some. You seemed really grounded until this..."crushing on you" and "Your hotness as a Mac Daddy" these words of yours don't make sense to me. They sound more like lyrics to a rap song played on MTV that a response to someone on a message board asking for advice. But I totally agree with your first statement and your wise advice he try to not be alone with the Teacher.
This is YOUR experience with teachers in your school or in your area. Trust me, MY OWN DAUGHTER was made an example in front of her class several times because her teacher was a complete b*tch. My daughter has a learning disabilty and some teachers seem to think this is something fabricated. Instead of following procedures she would put my daughter in the doorway or make her sit with her desk turned around. Don't tell me what teachers DON'T do.
Do you ever read a newspaper or hear the news about how some teachers are inappropriate with their students? Really professional, huh?
I agree. Sadly it happens way too often. Sorry about what happened to your daughter, by the way. Glad she has a Mother who cares
I agree. Sadly it happens way too often. Sorry about what happened to your daughter, by the way. Glad she has a Mother who cares
I have seen this happen too.
I really feel some teachers don't SEE how they come across to others.
Op, you've dug a nice hole for your wife to throw you in, if you EVEN consider feeding this crush thing.
Stay away from school events if your intentions don't benefit your son, and instead stroke your ego.
Be the better person here and re assure your wife she has nothing to worry about.
Both of you maybe should take a break from volunteering?
What does the 3rd grade teachers crew look like?
I'm sure you might think it's cute....But don't cause any problems for your boy.
Let it go. And try not to think of Miss ------ anymore.
Can't help but think how this thread would have ended up If op had posted in the teaching forum!!!!!
Well, well. You and your wife sound like a perfect match for each other.
Just don't pull your son out of school or do any complaining to the school about the teacher. He will be fine. More than fine even.
Believe it or not considering everything we have been through raising a disabled child and going through the recession that destroyed my career, we get along great. Recently is only the 2nd time in 15 years that she has had problems with jealousy, and the 1st time was total crap that almost caused a divorce 2 years into our relationship.
There are some circumstances going on that I personally think are leading to these problems. Such as right now I am running my own company, and have a full time job, combined those two have me working at least 75 hours a week, which while flexible enough to allow me to go to events and things with my family, I am also working from early morning sometimes until 10 at night to keep up on everything I have going on.
I know I am a workaholic and always have been. As part of my job I work with realtors, many of which are attractive females, and if someone has ever worked with real estate agents they know there is no such thing as time off, if they want to talk to you they will call at any time day or night, and due to it being work related I usually have to leave the room to go to my computer and have a business conversation. Both my company and being a mortgage loan officer require me to network not only with real estate agents, but also with many other business people, which means networking meetings, lunches, coffee, and even on the rare occasion a happy hour meeting. If I want to make money I have to do it, and she does understand that, but not many women would be real thrilled about all that.
Also in our personal lives many of both of our friends seem to be getting divorced over the last couple of years, often times it is because of cheating or someone gets tired of carrying all the responsibility and decides to leave. About 10 years ago my wife hurt her back and developed arthritis in her back, and so is no longer able to work full time or even extended hours part time, which while I do not mind, she worries about it considering how many people around us are getting divorced and the financial problems we went through in the real estate crash.
Add to that I have went on a health kick and lost weight over the last few months, and I could see why occasionally jealousy would kick up, especially since I have become much busier over the last 2 years, and could quit doing loans, but I like having the stability of a 2nd income in case something happens. I have already built a business and built a life upon that business, only to have the whole market collapse and having to start over.
I have seen this happen too.
I really feel some teachers don't SEE how they come across to others.
Op, you've dug a nice hole for your wife to throw you in, if you EVEN consider feeding this crush thing.
Stay away from school events if your intentions don't benefit your son, and instead stroke your ego.
Be the better person here and re assure your wife she has nothing to worry about.
Both of you maybe should take a break from volunteering?
What does the 3rd grade teachers crew look like?
I'm sure you might think it's cute....But don't cause any problems for your boy.
Let it go. And try not to think of Miss ------ anymore.
Can't help but think how this thread would have ended up If op had posted in the teaching forum!!!!!
I am good at digging myself into holes. I personally do not think about the teacher in that way, as far as I am concerned I only worry about my son, I have enough problems as is to add more to it, or cause him any kind of problems.
I personally try to avoid volunteering, and only go to the stuff that really matters. My wife of course is being forced to quit in his classroom, but honestly I do not blame her for being upset about it, she was actually a PERA for a special needs classroom before her back injury and was actually in school to become a teacher. Every teacher either of my kids have had actually have asked her to volunteer weekly, many times with me in the same room. I also grew up having my mother involved in my classrooms and schools throughout my youth.
The one issue I have is that with my son being out of the school boundaries we have to drive him to and from school, and school policy is we cannot just drop him off and pick him up on the curb, so my wife sees this teacher twice a day, or I go.
As for the 3rd grade teachers, I have no idea what they look like I have no idea who anybody outside of my wife's friends that work there and my kids actual teachers over the years what anybody looks like, and prefer it that way.
It is not my fault, and to be honest I do not know why certain people like me, while I am tall, I am a little overweight, I got a big nose, and even a little introverted some women hit on me, and not like flirt, but I have had women tell me through text messages that they hate their husband, and if I ever leave my wife to call them. One women asked me to dance and then started trying to make out with me 10 feet from where my wife was sitting. Others have sent me text messages late at night saying if I would come pick them up from the bar they would make sure it was worth it for me. I have had women ask me to leave bars with them, I had one Realtor recently tell me she would send me more deals if I would go to Vegas with her for the weekend. I am a mortgage broker and deal with some very aggressive women as part of my job, my wife used to laugh at how clueless I am about women hitting on me until they would go way past the line. These last few weeks that has changed.
As I said before I do not know why these situations happen other then they find me irresistible, I partially think it is because I handle myself in a professional manner and make no secret that I am married and plan on staying that way, and some women find that to be a challenge. My wife thinks it is because I am their sounding board, when people are buying a house or dealing with their finances all together you become almost a counselor, even with real estate agents use some mortgage brokers to vent to. people will tell you things that you do not want to know, they want your help in solving all their problems, and become very vulnerable, sometimes they do not seem to realize that it is not an intimate relationship for me and most other professionals, we may become friends, but that is as far as I would like to take it, some people don't like that.
It really doesn't matter what caused this. Speculating by saying it's all BS or assuming the worst doesn't help the OP.
Anytime a Teacher wants to bar a devoted parent from their classroom thus depriving the child of having an involved mother, then it's either time to take it to the Principal or pull the child from the class. Trust me, there are always things that need doing. I was a long term Substitute for years while raising our son. I've only heard of this happening with one Teacher. And she was a very bad Teacher who eventually got fired.
Oh, not categorically true at all. There are definitely times where a parent's persistent hovering over a child in the guise of "being an active volunteer" can be quite detrimental. A good teacher will recognize that it is NOT ideal from a developental standpoint to have a parent present in the school setting daily, numerous times a week, or even weekly, and a good teacher will also be upfront about what assistance is needed from parent volunteers, and if said assistance is even in the classroom. Don't forget that finding busywork for parents who want to hang out and observe their kid's class on a regular basis only adds work to a teacher's load. Also, many classroom tasks are not even appropriate to shuffle off to non-educators.
Most teachers are glad for help (if that's what's actually being offered, and not just micromanaging or favor-currying), but will also be upfront about what is needed, i.e., "Well, I don't really need a daily or weekly classroom assistant, but if you'd like to help set up for the book fair in a few weeks, I can add your name to the list, " etc.
Oh, not categorically true at all. There are definitely times where a parent's persistent hovering over a child in the guise of "being an active volunteer" can be quite detrimental. A good teacher will recognize that it is NOT ideal from a developental standpoint to have a parent present in the school setting daily, numerous times a week, or even weekly, and a good teacher will also be upfront about what assistance is needed from parent volunteers, and if said assistance is even in the classroom. Don't forget that finding busywork for parents who want to hang out and observe their kid's class on a regular basis only adds work to a teacher's load. Also, many classroom tasks are not even appropriate to shuffle off to non-educators.
Most teachers are glad for help (if that's what's actually being offered, and not just micromanaging or favor-currying), but will also be upfront about what is needed, i.e., "Well, I don't really need a daily or weekly classroom assistant, but if you'd like to help set up for the book fair in a few weeks, I can add your name to the list, " etc.
I am sure there are teachers who feel that way, however my wife is a PERA substitute, and still works part time for the school district, so it is not like she is just there to annoy the teacher. I have asked her what she does in the classrooms and for my sons class last year she spent most of her time there helping get the things together for class projects, running down and getting copies made for future lessons, helping the kids with some projects when they struggle, considering most teachers in his school are dealing with 20 plus kids, they go out of their way to ask her to volunteer up until the last couple of months, and usually set up something with her where she comes in every week on a certain day for a couple of hours or so. I know last year it was from 930 to lunch every friday that she was at his school.
Now for my daughter, she usually just helps the Peras with transitioning the kids as they are in an autism only program but some do have to go to regular classes, she also helps look after the kids and takes them for walks when they are being disruptive, stuff that a full time Pera would do, but she is not getting paid for it, or if she is she is not telling me about that money.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Parents do not belong in a second grade classroom on a daily basis. Ridiculous.
