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Two-and-a-half years ago, I took a chance on OLD. Friends badgered me into it, against my better judgment. That didn't turn out well. After a lot of thought, I have decided that this is just not the way I want to meet someone, for a litany of reasons.
First and foremost, though, is that according to the Association of Psychological Science -- which has actually studied the effectiveness of OLD -- the purported "algorithms" these sites use don't match people based on the two key things needed for a successful LT relationship: a person's ability to communicate effectively and how well he or she responds to stressful relationship situations.
Looking back on it, the reason my ex-S.O. and I didn't work out was because I neglected these two very important factors and based our relationship on superficial things that we had in common. I think that had I met him IRL first, through mutual friends or at the workplace, I would have soon picked up on the fact that he's a poor communicator and that he is just not really good under duress.
This is only one reason OLD is not for me.
Are there any other people who wouldn't choose to use this way to meet a prospective love interest? If so, what are your reasons?
After reading several threads on here about experiences, I know for sure that I will never try one. When I want to date again, I'll do it the old fashioned way.
Two-and-a-half years ago, I took a chance on OLD. Friends badgered me into it, against my better judgment. That didn't turn out well. After a lot of thought, I have decided that this is just not the way I want to meet someone, for a litany of reasons.
First and foremost, though, is that according to the Association of Psychological Science -- which has actually studied the effectiveness of OLD -- the purported "algorithms" these sites use don't match people based on the two key things needed for a successful LT relationship: a person's ability to communicate effectively and how well he or she responds to stressful relationship situations.
Looking back on it, the reason my ex-S.O. and I didn't work out was because I neglected these two very important factors and based our relationship on superficial things that we had in common. I think that had I met him IRL first, through mutual friends or at the workplace, I would have soon picked up on the fact that he's a poor communicator and that he is just not really good under duress.
This is only one reason OLD is not for me.
Are there any other people who wouldn't choose to use this way to meet a prospective love interest? If so, what are your reasons?
I stopped using them all together. I was using Plentyoffish and got nowhere on it.
And I saw several profiles where women hated being online. Deep down they REALLY wanted to meet someone in real life, but for various circumstances, they just weren't having that kind of luck. Online dating is great when it works, but I think many people do have higher expectations online. The options are abundant and they are all right in front you. I've had better luck with a serious commitment from real life, but it's been harder to meet single women in real life. My area is big into marrying relatively young.
Online dating is definitely a crap shoot at best, as I've been doing it for awhile but I'm not in a hurry to change my status. I've been divorced since 2000 and will likely stay that way.
The site you choose is one key factor in whether this works or not. I DO NOT suggest paid dating sites, since you will NOT get what you paid for! There is a system these sites use, and I'll explain that if you don't know.
Well, I've sworn off them... they didn't work for me at all. I only seemed to attract married men who thought I would be great mistress material, college-aged men who thought I would be great cougar material, or very psychologically damaged men. I met (as in had a date) with one nice man the entire time (but we didn't hit it off).
But I think a lot of factors can effect the results you get including things like geography and the demographics of where you live. Or maybe my profile was misleading somehow (although I was honest in it and didn't include "suggestive" shots (although I did have pictures of me in a sundress and a wetsuit--which is skin tight, but I wouldn't call it "sexy"). And based on my other thread where people chimed in and met spouses or started LTRs though OLD, it's got to work for some.
For that reason, while I don't think I will ever do OLD dating again; I wouldn't tell someone else to never try it. Who knows--it might work for you. But I would recommend that a person try free sites first (or pay monthly at first so it's easy to back out of a contract) "just in case."
Never used an online dating site and hope I never have to. I signed up one time to see what it was all about and was inundated with messages from undesirables (spam, sexual propositions, etc). I closed it after less than a week, I think.
I'm fortunate that I don't have trouble meeting good men in real life.
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