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Well, if I were you I would stay out of it. She was having a physical affair, you two were having an emotional affair. It's debatable whether those things are equal but if you really want to help him and yourself you will keep your distance.
What could be wrong? I don't think there's any excuse for cheating though He only loved 2 women in his life and both cheated on him. He seems like a very good man. Maybe because he shows the women that they can get away with anything? It is really frustrating hearing his stories about the affair of his wife and pretend like everything is normal with her
You are obviously very naive. What do you think your relationship with him is...You my dear are the other woman as far as his wife is concerned....And, you know this is true. You do not however know what he is telling you about his wife is true. Better think about this.
I really want to walk away because it has been affecting me negatively but I feel bad for abandoning a person who only has me to confide in during a difficult period in his life. I really don't know what to do anymore. I admit that I am attracted to him but I will not act on this. I just want to help ease the pain he is feeling now.
This is not your marriage, these are not your issues, it's not your responsibility to solve them, and you cannot ease his pain. You should not be the shining light amidst the darkness he's in. Turning outward to another woman for emotional comfort is not going to resolve his marital issues.
Don't you think it's weird out of everyone in his life, he says you are the only one he can confide in? Surely there IS someone else regardless of his wife's reputation - he must have a friend or family member he can trust to talk to. That's what friends and family are for. Think what would happen if his wife found out about you or read the text messages between you two talking about really personal details of his relationship. It doesn't really matter if she is having a physical relationship with someone else - she will take him down as a cheater right along with her. Do you really want to be involved in someone else's drama?
My friends love me and they helped me so much during my divorce offering advice and support and sometimes just listening. I know they felt horrible for me, but I doubt any of them lost sleep over my situation. My point is you are far too invested and it surely isn't just platonic if you are this upset.
You are obviously very naive. What do you think your relationship with him is...You my dear are the other woman as far as his wife is concerned....And, you know this is true. You do not however know what he is telling you about his wife is true. Better think about this.
I really never thought we were having an emotional affair since he was not attracted to me and there was no flirtation going on. And he always talks about his wife fondly. He never spoke about issues in his marriage until he called me the moment he found out his wife had an affair. That was the only time he confessed to having problems.
I really never thought we were having an emotional affair since he was not attracted to me and there was no flirtation going on. And he always talks about his wife fondly. He never spoke about issues in his marriage until he called me the moment he found out his wife had an affair. That was the only time he confessed to having problems.
You were having an emotional affair. If you guys were spending so much time chatting, texting, and talking that it was taking away from other things then it certainly was an affair.
A married man shouldn't be carrying on like this with a woman outside of his marriage. You as a single woman should have more respect for yourself and awareness that you were this guy's emotional crutch. Only a matter of time before you hooked up.
I don't understand myself if it's the attraction or guilt of abandoning someone in crisis. I am certain that I do not want a relationship with him even if he were single or separate from his wife because I can't deal with all the complications.
Is it really an emotional affair when clearly he is not interested or attracted to me in a romantic way? I truly feel this, in spite of his wife's affair he still loves her. Today he said his wife allowed him to hug her in bed (because in the past few weeks she does not even want to be touched) and he felt like crying then. I don't think that is a man mad from an affair, it seems like his wife could do no wrong. He even said that maybe when his wife has another affair he wishes to be numb. That's unconditional love I guess
It is SO inappropriate of him to share something like this with you. Literally, he is telling you what is happening in his marital bed... how awful. This guys sounds very manipulative to me. I think you need to RUN.
Don't you think it's weird out of everyone in his life, he says you are the only one he can confide in? Surely there IS someone else regardless of his wife's reputation - he must have a friend or family member he can trust to talk to. That's what friends and family are for. Think what would happen if his wife found out about you or read the text messages between you two talking about really personal details of his relationship. It doesn't really matter if she is having a physical relationship with someone else - she will take him down as a cheater right along with her. Do you really want to be involved in someone else's drama?
My friends love me and they helped me so much during my divorce offering advice and support and sometimes just listening. I know they felt horrible for me, but I doubt any of them lost sleep over my situation. My point is you are far too invested and it surely isn't just platonic if you are this upset.
He says that he only told me because I don't know his wife. And he really does not want any family or friend to learn about his wife's infidelity.
I think I am because hearing his stories about the affair is affecting me negatively. I'm in trouble
You are completely too emotionally invested in a stranger's drama.
Unfortunately. I really hate myself for being too emotional
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suncc49
You were having an emotional affair. If you guys were spending so much time chatting, texting, and talking that it was taking away from other things then it certainly was an affair.
A married man shouldn't be carrying on like this with a woman outside of his marriage. You as a single woman should have more respect for yourself and awareness that you were this guy's emotional crutch. Only a matter of time before you hooked up.
Cut him off.
I really had to hear it from other people that it was an emotional affair. It felt wrong for us to be spending so much time but I never thought of it as an affair since he was not attracted to me so I felt safe with our friendship. He really believes that we are not doing anything wrong as long as we are not physically intimate.
Another thing that made me think that he was not capable of an affair was when he found out about his wife's affair, he could have retaliated and had another affair but he never even flirted with me. So it cemented my belief that he is not capable of cheating I guess he really isn't but I am just being used an ego boost or emotional crutch?
How do I cut him off?
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He only loved 2 women in his life and both cheated on him. He seems like a very good man. Maybe because he shows the women that they can get away with anything? It is really frustrating hearing his stories about the affair of his wife and pretend like everything is normal with her 
