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I dislike the thread's terminology, but the premise is interesting. What's not, in general, are the "sweet" women. George Sodini had a funny line about stereotypical submissive-seeming Asian women (part of it was "no personality"), and long before that I coined the term "personality-free." In my experience, many quiet/reserved women (which I suppose orangeapple mostly means by "sweet") rarely have anything fun to talk about (including joking around) and seldom want to do things men consider fun. Whereas the "witchy" (more likely bold and outgoing) woman likes to talk about and do enjoyable things and is flirty, including usually sexing up her appearance more than her counterpart does. Also, the "sweet" type seemingly has a tendency to be religious, which probably is a turn-off to many men these days, and likely is less verbal about her feelings, including affection. Of course no man really wants negative feelings hurled at him, but that comes later from the supposed bad type. For a long-term relationship, a woman needs to have many of the positive qualities of both types.
Edit: there's also the issue of necessary tension (probably unproven, but there's research indicating it's real). The "sweet" woman who is routinely pleasant but boring fails at the intermittent reinforcement that typically underlies attraction.
Last edited by goodheathen; 03-23-2014 at 12:15 PM..
Both of those arguments to me are completely ridiculous and invalid in my opinion.
I honestly believe when people say things like that...they are bitter on some level because of their awful luck in terms of dating. However, I have seen some cases where people do complain about those types of people but still go for them regardless. I guess it's because it excites them in some way. I don't entertain the petty theories people come with in relationships as they are really ridiculous and just plain don't make any sense. People avoid the truth too much.
As a man, I don't want my woman getting pushed around by other people. It constantly makes me feel like I have to fight her battles. When she can handle herself, you rest easy knowing that she can take care of herself if you're not around.
The problem is when you have a woman that is sweet and demure with others but assertive and witchy with you. Don't talk **** to me and then let other people walk all over you. As a man, I personally hate that sort of behavior. It's like you have too much respect for others but not enough respect for me.
Men don't like witchy women. Men like women that are "hot." If a man is enamored with a woman's beauty, he'll put up with all kinds of crap (doesn't apply to all men, of course).
If a girl is a "9" in looks and acts like a witch, she's far more likely to have willing suitors than a woman this is a "6" acting the exact same way.
This is sort of a reverse take on the oft-discussed premise that "Women like jerks, not nice guys".
Do you think there is any truth here?
Men seem to complain about women in relationships being bossy & emasculating. They may wonder where all the kind, sweet-natured women are. They blame feminism. They say nowadays, women try to act like men (whatever that means).
But are they choosing these naggy/witchy types of women?
Are they subconsciously drawn to them, initially at least?
Meanwhile, more patient, sweet women are not grabbing their attention & are being overlooked in favor of the more aggressive, confident woman who perhaps boosts their egos while dating, but then harps on them when in a relationship. Or something else?
Of course, in the original premise, we discover Nice Guys aren't so nice. We learn there is a false dichotomy.
So what could be going on with the "Sweet Woman" vs. "Witchy Woman" in terms of what men say they want & who they actually date/marry?
Spoiler
Disclaimer: I'm not stating this as a truth, nor is this necessarily my belief/stance. Just an idea to discuss.
I love sweet, level-headed women. I wish I could find one. My last gf seemed to be that girl, but after a little over a year she changed. My advice, if you can find a level-headed, mature [not cougar] woman then hold on to her.
As a man, I don't want my woman getting pushed around by other people. It constantly makes me feel like I have to fight her battles. When she can handle herself, you rest easy knowing that she can take care of herself if you're not around.
The problem is when you have a woman that is sweet and demure with others but assertive and witchy with you. Don't talk **** to me and then let other people walk all over you. As a man, I personally hate that sort of behavior. It's like you have too much respect for others but not enough respect for me.
Sweet confident women don't let themselves get pushed around, but they also don't act like a nag and a witch constantly verbally attacking men busting their chops. Those women are UNHAPPY and take it out on others. Watch the boards. You can see the difference.
I think men need to call woman out when there being a B@#$% and woman need to call me out when they are been D bags.
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