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Knight, ya know I love ya, but candy is sweet. Puppies are sweet. Children are sweet. Women are adults. That means we have a right to be strong, a right to pissy moods when we have them, a right to be ticked off when a man does something that annoys or hurts us, and a right to express that annoyance or hurt.
While we're all capable of doing sweet things, to be constantly in a state of "la la la la, life is wonderful, you're so wonderful, let me make you cookies," means a woman doesn't read the bleepin' news.
Thank you for your thoughts and comments Lilac -- and yes I love ya too, lol I agree 100% that women have a right to be assertive, when they are taken advantage of, or hurt by men. But I would think that a man who can truly appreciate and respect a sweet-natured woman would not push her to that extreme and that level, to begin with?
Perhaps the difference is in the delivery of a response and the personality style involved, whether female or male? For example, I recently took a class on personality types as defined by the SDI model (SDI being a personality test similar to Myers-Briggs), and the 7 different personality types that it classifies people in (Red, Green, Blue, Hub, Red-Blue, Red-Green, and Blue-Green) have various levels of degrees of compatibility, with other personality styles? For example, since my own designated personality type result after taking the test was Blue-Green, I am for instance compatible in multiple ways with both Blue personalities and Green personalities, but am not compatible with Red personalities.
ETA: a possible practical example - Red personalities tend to like to be told things "without any surgarcoating" or additional sensitivity in mind, but straight and to the point, brief and direct, even to the point of bluntness. Whereas Blue personalities might be more apt to prefer what Red personalities refer to as "sugarcoating" and more-sensitive language, in the interest of avoiding additional conflict. As a Blue-Green myself, I like the Blue-oriented approach, of overall softer, gentler language. Which is also why for some men, they might prefer a Bluer-personality woman romantically, vs. more of a Red personality woman. Conversely, Red personalities may also perhaps naturally be more inclined to seek out other Red personalities, for romantic purposes.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 03-24-2014 at 12:02 PM..
Reason: Edits
ETA: a possible practical example - Red personalities tend to like to be told things "without any surgarcoating" or additional sensitivity in mind, but straight and to the point, brief and direct, even to the point of bluntness.
Not sure what color I'd be, but I am an INTJ, and I don't believe in content-free speech. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Sugarcoating leaves too much room for interpretation, and misinterpretation.
This is sort of a reverse take on the oft-discussed premise that "Women like jerks, not nice guys".
Do you think there is any truth here?
Men seem to complain about women in relationships being bossy & emasculating. They may wonder where all the kind, sweet-natured women are. They blame feminism. They say nowadays, women try to act like men (whatever that means).
But are they choosing these naggy/witchy types of women?
Are they subconsciously drawn to them, initially at least?
Meanwhile, more patient, sweet women are not grabbing their attention & are being overlooked in favor of the more aggressive, confident woman who perhaps boosts their egos while dating, but then harps on them when in a relationship. Or something else?
Of course, in the original premise, we discover Nice Guys aren't so nice. We learn there is a false dichotomy.
So what could be going on with the "Sweet Woman" vs. "Witchy Woman" in terms of what men say they want & who they actually date/marry?
Spoiler
Disclaimer: I'm not stating this as a truth, nor is this necessarily my belief/stance. Just an idea to discuss.
Maybe a concern that the "sweet" woman will be boring or nonexistent in bed?
Not sure what color I'd be, but I am an INTJ, and I don't believe in content-free speech. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Sugarcoating leaves too much room for interpretation, and misinterpretation.
Hmmm, interesting...when I took the MBTI when first starting college, my result was INTJ as well myself, although this has also changed for me, over the years. I currently usually score INFJ, INFP, and ISFJ, and a few other introverted-type variants, depending on the individual specific questions asked on the MBTI
Not sure what color I'd be, but I am an INTJ, and I don't believe in content-free speech. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Sugarcoating leaves too much room for interpretation, and misinterpretation.
I took some seminar thru work that was clearly based on Myers Briggs but was a much quicker and watered down version.
It was called Colors. It was 4 major colors that described briefly about personality types etc etc.
Blue was kind of artsy, sensitive feely type.
Gold was the organizer types.
Orange was the thrill seeker, big picture, tackle problems, blah blah
Green was the thinker, sciency types.
There are much more about it and people can overlap too.
I was a hardcore green on that system with a slight secondary blue.
I score as an INTJ on the MB system too.
I'm sure you'd be a Green most likely, just based on the INTJ descriptions.
I like women who like me and like the same things as me in bed. I am not really attractive enough to be any more picky if I want to have regular sex.
The reason men or women have self esteme issues is because they truely do have low value/worth in the dating market, if they had higher value they would have spread sheets of attractive suitors and thus would not have low self esteme. Or at the very least be able to line up a new quality partner in a matter of a week or 2 after a break up, even if the partner is a regualar FWB.
Knowing your of low value makes it easier to take more risks with your life in other aspects of life.
I think some people here are getting it wrong. It's not that these men put up with all kind of crap in order to go out with a stunning women; they put up with crap from any women. It's almost as if they thrived on being humiliated.
Only immature, inexperienced men who have not paid their dues will put up with contempt and disrespect from anybody that they live with. A grown man who is grounded in reality and deals with it accordingly will not accept this kind of behavior from his wife or girlfriend regardless of her looks, which is why prosperous men past their early thirties are so picky about women and why a naggy, irascible wife with a smart husband is looking to find herself all alone past her prime and stuck with a mortgage she can't handle soon after the kids leave college and child support payments are out of the picture.
This is sort of a reverse take on the oft-discussed premise that "Women like jerks, not nice guys".
Do you think there is any truth here?
Men seem to complain about women in relationships being bossy & emasculating. They may wonder where all the kind, sweet-natured women are. They blame feminism. They say nowadays, women try to act like men (whatever that means).
But are they choosing these naggy/witchy types of women?
Are they subconsciously drawn to them, initially at least?
Meanwhile, more patient, sweet women are not grabbing their attention & are being overlooked in favor of the more aggressive, confident woman who perhaps boosts their egos while dating, but then harps on them when in a relationship. Or something else?
Of course, in the original premise, we discover Nice Guys aren't so nice. We learn there is a false dichotomy.
So what could be going on with the "Sweet Woman" vs. "Witchy Woman" in terms of what men say they want & who they actually date/marry?
Spoiler
Disclaimer: I'm not stating this as a truth, nor is this necessarily my belief/stance. Just an idea to discuss.
I think you're on to something.
(Old thread, though but intriguing topic)
In my case, I have looked at the "hot" types, and not really noticed the woman who wasn't necessarily as "hot", but was very kind and always there for me. Those women often turn out to be stunners, too.
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I agree 100% that women have a right to be assertive, when they are taken advantage of, or hurt by men. But I would think that a man who can truly appreciate and respect a sweet-natured woman would not push her to that extreme and that level, to begin with? 
