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I have never heard any woman accuse any man who accidentally brushed up against her of harassment. ... Honestly, I don't know what planet some people are living on...
LOL, can't see the forest in the trees, eh? Agree about the second part.
Not in my opinion. I'm not blaming anyone or saying anyone is asking for it. All I'm saying is that is how it often works. It is what it is.
But it should change. Once smallpox and polio killing people "was what it was," but society changed that. The questions is how does society change this, not should it.
But there are other subtle acts that more sensitive women might consider harrassment but others consider attention.
How many glances is too many? How many respectful words to a stranger is too many?
That example was obvious (and a horrible invasion of privacy), but I'm confident there are less obvious examples.
Like I said, short of someone telling you to stop, you can also gauge if it's harassment if things are going one-way. If you are making all the compliments, all the glances and smiles, etc. If you step forward to talk to her and she steps back... etc, then she's probably not interested and it's best to move on. That's the best way to see it.
When you ask for my number and I say I am not interested, you continue to badger me or even cuss me out for not giving you my number....that is harrassment. I hear about this alot. Men just can't seem to take no for an answer. They can't handle being rejected.
What makes this forum so unique form all other forums on the internet is that almost every topic becomes extremely over-complicated.
The answer is simple. There is no difference between attention and harassment in the action itself, but only in woman's assessment, interpretation and judgement of such action. A two-second stare or an accidental brush-up on the subway from a homeless guy is harassment, but a Rolex-clad arm around a woman's shoulder from a young good looking guy in a bar can trigger the "I like a man who goes after what he wants" line of thinking among many women.
Then perhaps only the more obvious forms of harassment are a problem? Perhaps part of the problem #Yesallwomen should address is the women who tolerate obvious harassment from some men.
Here's a cool poster, advocating physical violence response to verbal assault (SPOILER: it's a criminal offense in all 50 states)
Maybe she just used the lasso of truth on him to get him to spill the beans on the fact that he was married and now he's devastated because his wife found out
Seriously though, that's weird (and wrong... the physical violence part or the hint of it). Where did you see that poster?
This is 100% rubbish. It is pure PUA-type thinking.
I take the subway to work every single day. I have never heard any woman accuse any man who accidentally brushed up against her of harassment. And accidental brush ups like this happen constantly throughout the day. If what you say were true, the mayor's office would be deluged with complaints from women about harassment on the subway. It isn't.
It is also preposterous to say that any guy wearing a Rolex (or any other trapping of wealth) can put his arm around a woman he doesn't know and expect a warm response. That is laughably stupid. Honestly, I don't know what planet some people are living on...
I've seen sexual harassment in the workplace from an attractive man that appeared to be welcomed by the recipients and that I knew I couldn't have gotten away with if I'd wanted to do that (which I didn't want to do). But he knew not to pull that stuff against other women in the same workplace who wouldn't have tolerated it. So it's not fair to act like all women are bothered by the same level of harassment.
I've seen sexual harassment in the workplace from an attractive man that appeared to be welcomed by the recipients and that I knew I couldn't have gotten away with if I'd wanted to do that (which I didn't want to do). But he knew not to pull that stuff against other women in the same workplace who wouldn't have tolerated it. So it's not fair to act like all women are bothered by the same level of harassment.
See, like I said if it's "welcomed" it's not harassment. So it's not that all women are not bothered by the same level of harassment... it's just that what one woman finds as harassment, another might not think is harassment at all. All women are different in their tolerance and tastes. Again, the key is... is it welcomed or is it one-way.
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