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My guess is that he threw that out as a smoke screen. Right now, he's having his cake and eating it too. ....so to speak. Who knows how many cakes he's eating? If he were madly in love with you, he'd want his friends to meet you, and he'd want to share special times and places with you.
But he HAS introduced her to all his friends - just not the ones who live out of the country
But he HAS introduced her to all his friends - just not the ones who live out of the country
Don't increase her paranoia Ruth lol.
The guy is not necessarily doing anything wrong.
Right, maybe. But still, my original point was that he simply isn't that into her. I think that's still a valid point, even if there's no infidelity going on.
Right, maybe. But still, my original point was that he simply isn't that into her. I think that's still a valid point, even if there's no infidelity going on.
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I think the advice would be different if the two of you were married, because the whole deal of a married man vacationing with two single Italian women IS completely inappropriate. You will meet them at our wedding was definately said to put you off-balance, and it worked.
"Gee, we are not engaged, but I will meet them at our wedding? We are getting married? When is that wedding anyway, hun? "
In the end, he was honest enough to tell you about it. He could have made up a dead or sick distant relative or something - or even told you they were men. He didnt.
I wouldnt like it either, but that doesnt mean anything inappropriate is planned. You havent said if you and he have both agreed on exclusivity?
I guess it boils down to how much do you trust him? Does he make you feel like you can trust his word?
From him saying "you will meet them at our wedding", there are only two ways to take that:
1. He's an opportunist and manipulator - that takes you emmotionally to the very outer limits of his plans, before the story makes a dishonest twist.
2. He's a free-spirited, naive, honest young man.
You know him better than any of us - which does he most seem like to you?
If in your heart of hearts you know he is #1, be happy he is making a friendly break.
If in your heart of hearts you know he is #2, pack his bag for him, kiss him good bye, and wait to see if he faithfully returns to you.
In either case, if you love something, you have to set it free. If it was meant to be, it will return to you. Cliche I know, but a true one.
"Gee, we are not engaged, but I will meet them at our wedding? We are getting married? When is that wedding anyway, hun? "
Oh, gosh, I wish I could turn back the time and come back with that quote at him!
And yeah, we are mutually exclusive for over a year now.
About trust... After I found out what happened in the beginning of the relationship, I worked hard to regain trust, because without it there can be no relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ConeyGirl52
In either case, if you love something, you have to set it free. If it was meant to be, it will return to you. Cliche I know, but a true one.
True indeed. I think one of the reasons why he ended up choosing to be with me, and quit it with the other woman, is because I allowed him space and 'set him free' to go abroad for a few weeks. Seems like then he worked out his issues and realized he wanted me in his life. He said he was scared of serious commitment that would make me move for him - I can understand that, I would probably be getting cold feet in a similar situation. Coney, I think it might be the case of #2, but with a sprinkle of #1.
I don't think he would cheat on me with the girls; the issue, I guess, just like Ruth says, is that he might be not as much into me as I would like him to. And I would not wait a lifetime til he decides to get closer
My second thought is that it might be just the way his character is (he also keeps saying that). He does not seem to have a soppy romantic side at all (or maybe I just don't evoke it from him?), prefers going places and doing things instead of passionate gestures and cuddling on the couch. From observing his parents, he seems like his mother (more cold), and I'm like his father (his father is the one in the couple to use affectionate words).
Last edited by opiniongirl; 07-04-2014 at 03:50 PM..
My second thought is that it might be just the way his character is (he also keeps saying that). He is does not seem to have a soppy romantic side at all (or maybe I just don't evoke it from him?), prefers going places and doing things instead of passionate gestures and cuddling on the couch.
This is something you really need to pay attention to.
He is TELLING you how he is, and deep down you really don't like that about him.
At first you were fine being the cool GF who gave him space, but now you know that you need more. And now you know that he is not likely to give you more.
Unfortunately you still are willing to rationalize the stuff you don't like about him.
I would be upset too. He isn't seeing the relationship the same way you are. He wants to get away from it for awhile and since he's still single (ie: not engaged or married) it's reasonable. But you need to understand that you're place in his life may not be as important as you'd like. Only you can decide if that's ok or not. I'd say probably not, but that's just me.
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