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You love not listening. The title of the thread is guy's take on calling women crazy. Men mentioned women are too emotional. So I said (again for the millionth time) men are far more emotional than women.
And again, do not take that personally.
It's hard to believe a statement like this when you're getting so upset about it. All you're doing is proving yourself wrong.
There are actually women who do this to other women. They are bossy, manipulative and want to control whoever they can within their field of influence. To be fair, I think a lot of people just use the term habitually and don't go to such extremes. And not all people are as driven as these control freaks.
But there are definitely some women who use gossip to spoil a person's esteem in other people's eyes. Who label other women as "crazy". I think they want to get "inconvenient" people in line so they can stay in complete control.
I just walked out on a card game the other night because I got so sick of this domineering, controlling, gossip hound who keeps score trying to put me in my place in front of everyone else. She does not like those who are successful or have a mind of their own. She goes after them the most to get them into a subservient role. She was trying to tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with. That's when I left. I have no doubt she has had some choice words about me. Too bad for her. I know not everyone listens to the old bat.
I used to think a crazy bi###, was a woman, who would scream in an argument....back in the day, when I didn't want to really deal with an issue, I would try to maintain a civilized environment, by talking in a calm voice, whenever I had a yelling female arguing with me. I knew that the demeanor would push buttons, but they were the crazy ones, because they would yell so loudly, the kind of frustrating yelling that neighbors can hear. As I got older, I realized that my passive aggressive behavior, was manipulative. Refusing to discuss some issue they had, by turning my back and ignoring them. All passive aggressive behavior. This is something I worked hard on, and have made a positive change about 10 years ago. I actually am friends with a few of those women, and 10 years ago, I reached out and apologized for my behavior....they all dropped their jaws in disbelief..lol
Whenever you do those things to a woman who is mad, you are telling them to ****, that they aren't important, and you dont care what they have to say...it's a big FU, so how else are they going to get your attention? You pressed all the buttons for detonation.... At least in my experiences the crazy women, were made that way because of my actions....I'm betting that's the case with many who have been called crazy.
There are actually women who do this to other women. They are bossy, manipulative and want to control whoever they can within their field of influence. To be fair, I think a lot of people just use the term habitually and don't go to such extremes. And not all people are as driven as these control freaks.
But there are definitely some women who use gossip to spoil a person's esteem in other people's eyes. Who label other women as "crazy". I think they want to get "inconvenient" people in line so they can stay in complete control.
I just walked out on a card game the other night because I got so sick of this domineering, controlling, gossip hound who keeps score trying to put me in my place in front of everyone else. She does not like those who are successful or have a mind of their own. She goes after them the most to get them into a subservient role. She was trying to tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with. That's when I left. I have no doubt she has had some choice words about me. Too bad for her. I know not everyone listens to the old bat.
Where did you see this? I'm female and have never encountered this in my entire life (and I'm not 18). Were you living in a bad neighborhood that you saw this sort of thing? Poverty often leads to madness.
Where did you see this? I'm female and have never encountered this in my entire life (and I'm not 18). Were you living in a bad neighborhood that you saw this sort of thing? Poverty often leads to madness.
Well I'm from a nice middle class background and I know exactly the type she's talking about. The movie Mean Girls was popular for a reason. I guess you just got very extremely lucky.
I used to think a crazy bi###, was a woman, who would scream in an argument....back in the day, when I didn't want to really deal with an issue, I would try to maintain a civilized environment, by talking in a calm voice, whenever I had a yelling female arguing with me. I knew that the demeanor would push buttons, but they were the crazy ones, because they would yell so loudly, the kind of frustrating yelling that neighbors can hear. As I got older, I realized that my passive aggressive behavior, was manipulative. Refusing to discuss some issue they had, by turning my back and ignoring them. All passive aggressive behavior. This is something I worked hard on, and have made a positive change about 10 years ago. I actually am friends with a few of those women, and 10 years ago, I reached out and apologized for my behavior....they all dropped their jaws in disbelief..lol
Whenever you do those things to a woman who is mad, you are telling them to ****, that they aren't important, and you dont care what they have to say...it's a big FU, so how else are they going to get your attention? You pressed all the buttons for detonation.... At least in my experiences the crazy women, were made that way because of my actions....I'm betting that's the case with many who have been called crazy.
OMG. MY jaw dropped in disbelief when I read this post.
The kind of self-reflection that you've accomplished is extremely rare in a man, IwOn. Gosh, even the fact that you WANTED to change and made a conscious effort to do so is incredible.
Your post is truly one of the most intelligent, insightful, humble and mature that I've ever read on CD!
Its all pretty simple, DONT ACT CRAZY ! and you won't be called crazy. Whats so hard to understand.
I also say it's pretty simple: DON'T be a passive-aggressive control freak, and you won't be called a passive-aggressive control freak. What's so hard to understand?
Gawd, thank you for this. Sounds just like the dynamic I had with my ex. I've always had weak vocal chords anyway and when we got in a disagreement he could sound perfectly reasonable and rational while I'd have to raise my voice higher and screechier to be "heard." I always did wonder whether it was conscious on his part, and got my answer just last year when we were in a public place (post divorce) and he was trying desperately to engage me in an argument but I knew what he was up to--he wanted to get me screaming in front of our friends so they would turn against me and think i was crazy. I didn't. What's ironic is that he'd say the most irrational things in a calm voice, but like you he was passive aggressive, and unlike you, he never seemed to gain any insight into that. I guess he came by it honestly bc the whole family was like that.
Wow, stepka. This is the dynamic of MY 22-year marriage, and I'm finally getting out! It's bad enough that a man can do this to his wife/girlfriend, but when he starts targeting the "crazy making" behavior on the kids as well, then it's definitely time to get out!
BTW, I say "when a man can do this to his wife/girlfriend" because, while almost everyone - men and women - are guilty of occasional passive-aggressive behavior, it is usually men who exhibit it at a pathological level. So says Scott Wetzler, author of Living with the Passive Aggressive Man.
Some people keep a bible on their bedside tables for inspirational reading; I kept Wexler's book. I don't think I would have made it through these years without it.
There are actually women who do this to other women. They are bossy, manipulative and want to control whoever they can within their field of influence. To be fair, I think a lot of people just use the term habitually and don't go to such extremes. And not all people are as driven as these control freaks.
But there are definitely some women who use gossip to spoil a person's esteem in other people's eyes. Who label other women as "crazy". I think they want to get "inconvenient" people in line so they can stay in complete control.
I just walked out on a card game the other night because I got so sick of this domineering, controlling, gossip hound who keeps score trying to put me in my place in front of everyone else. She does not like those who are successful or have a mind of their own. She goes after them the most to get them into a subservient role. She was trying to tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with. That's when I left. I have no doubt she has had some choice words about me. Too bad for her. I know not everyone listens to the old bat.
Oh, I've definitely known women like this. Many of them, in fact.
The difference is that women like this usually target other women with their (passive) aggressive, controlling personalities. I've experienced and witnessed this behavior from women in the workplace countless times and in social situations.
But when this behavior comes from a woman, it's easier to escape it or to avoid it altogether. I'm a heterosexual woman, so I've never been married to a woman like this, and I've never had to live with one.
I suspect situations like what Dr. Nerdlove and 1w0n are describing are a big reason why some women are wary of dating men who are laid-back and/or reserved.
Signs of passive-aggressiveness can be spotted very early on if you know what to look for.
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