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I thought Match.com was mostly guys wanting barbies and hook-ups? I thought eHarmony was the conservative one where most people want long-term relationships? Is that wrong?
When I did eHarmony, I found a lot of married men looking to cheat. I think it's because their wives can't "Search" for their profiles easily. Match for me has been men wanting to marry or at the very least jump two feet first into a committed, serious relationship.
I think it varies by age group and location.
Just started an OKC profile (same as my Match profile). A lot more traffic there and "Spam" messages of "hi" with nothing else or obvious "cut and paste" messages that are pretty generic. I might add to my profile, "If you want me to write back, tell me what 3x7=." Then I will know they actually read the profile and aren't just cut and paste spamming every woman on the site, lol. Even if he wrote, "I like you... and 21." I would at least know to respond. But I did have one man who "just wants to hang out and be friends first" message me. That's kind of what I am looking for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
Well, don't disappoint God, he knows best. Maybe the other guy knows the first guy is your soul mate because God told him so he's hiding?
Online does attract a lot flakes. I had a few who claimed we were meant to be together.
If I had a dollar for every time a man said I was his soul mate before even meeting me... I'd have, well, about 10 dollars, but still that's a lot considering these guys have never met me and these are usually first messages.
I honestly don't know why I keep trying online... other than my social circle is pretty limited (most are married and know other married people). I am thinking after a month of OKCupid, I am going to give the online thing a break and try joining a lot of clubs and other organizations to see if I can meet someone more "organically." In the past, that always seemed to work best for me. In case anyone is wondering, I just don't have time to do both. If I online date, I need to leave my schedule open enough to plan dates. If I join a bunch of clubs and such... I won't have the time to online date anymore.
most eharmony daters falsify their posts.
the assumption that if you put out a good false ad you will get good honest results is utter nonsense.
it carries over into job hunts read the CDF posts on frustration on job hunts---- same as dating.
lying gets you nowhere kids.
[quote=jillabean;35747084]When I did eHarmony, I found a lot of married men looking to cheat. I think it's because their wives can't "Search" for their profiles easily. Match for me has been men wanting to marry or at the very least jump two feet first into a committed, serious relationship.
I think it varies by age group and location.
Just started an OKC profile (same as my Match profile). A lot more traffic there and "Spam" messages of "hi" with nothing else or obvious "cut and paste" messages that are pretty generic. I might add to my profile, "If you want me to write back, tell me what 3x7=." Then I will know they actually read the profile and aren't just cut and paste spamming every woman on the site, lol. Even if he wrote, "I like you... and 21." I would at least know to respond. But I did have one man who "just wants to hang out and be friends first" message me. That's kind of what I am looking for.
That's funny I get a ton of OKC guys that are 20 years old (I am 37) asking if I want to hang out, or hi babe lol.
I might have to try Match once my EHarmony membership is up in a couple of months. I did meet one guy off of OKC last year, but all he wanted was one thing. POF hasn't been that great either. And Christian Mingle has not been great at all!
When I did eHarmony, I found a lot of married men looking to cheat. I think it's because their wives can't "Search" for their profiles easily.
Oh, that's hilarious! After all the trouble the site owners put in to prevent people using it for cheating or anything lightweight -- I think that's why they don't let you search, etc.
I bet someone has made an automated program that makes eharmony profiles. I can't imagine playas going through those zillions of questionnaire screens just to look for a little on the side.
[quote=jennylynh;35747360][quote=jillabean;35747084]When I did eHarmony, I found a lot of married men looking to cheat. I think it's because their wives can't "Search" for their profiles easily. Match for me has been men wanting to marry or at the very least jump two feet first into a committed, serious relationship.
For some reason that last post of mine got messed up with the quote!
Match.com is for conservative people (although not as extremist as eharmony), so they wll likely be marriage-oriented. AFF is for fringe stuff -- BDSM, cheating, diapers, etc.
Have you tried OKC? It's the main place for casual relationships, I think. POF might also be worth a try, although it tends to attract sleazier people. Not always, though.
I mostly came across extreme jocks or plain joe couch potato types on Match.
Eharmony, lower class and less educated or looking for penpals only.
I tried it for a while, years ago, when OLD was more in its infancy. As a man seeking women, here are some things I found:
1. A large chunk of guys in OLD are losers/creeps. It make things harder for us halfway decent guys to get a chance.
2. If a woman says she weighs 118, she's probably right. If she says she weighs 150, she weighs 200. If she says 200, she was probably a candidate for "My 600 Lb Life". Now, I'm not dissing overweight women, I actually dated some chubbier women in my time and find many of them attractive, and my wife and I both could stand to lose a few pounds. I just don't see the point in lying about it, since the moment you meet in person, it will be obvious you lied. Same goes for men lying about height, by the way.
3. "Independent" - commitment-phobic.
4. "Free spirit" - a drunk who will probably cheat on you.
I mostly came across extreme jocks or plain joe couch potato types on Match.
Eharmony, lower class and less educated or looking for penpals only.
I've known women who said there are busy businessman types on Match, who don't have time to date much. They really want a wife, but they're away on business trips a lot. Also heard that players go on Match just to score, then move on.
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