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I'm not sure...there's probably 4-6 things on that list that would apply for the greater majority of men. Yeah, some are stupid, but it's not a checklist that is meant to be followed entirely. Like I mentioned in a previous post, "be intelligent" doesn't help anybody, because they can't just go to the store and buy a box of smarts. Sure, they can read and try to learn more about the world around them...but only so much will take if they have..."limited" means to begin with.
I have a knack for dissection. So a good portion of them, that he claims applies to the majority of men, can easily be dissected. Submission? Like what? Cook his dinner, do his laundry, heed to his every word, attend mass with him, or follow some antiquated gender role? Or, be a freak or "sub" in the bedroom. Which is it? While I have encountered men who are into non-vanilla, D/s, these were educated and progressive men who enjoyed this dynamic in the bedroom. They didn't actually seek a 24/7 "intelligent" doormat.
"Be intelligent," like you said, one can't just obtain some smarts willy nilly. And what does he mean by "intelligent"? Is like that discerning his contradictory points? He wants a submissive woman, but she must have smarts? Well, the majority of intelligent, or, rather, educated women I know would not be down with the submission he may be referring to.
He confuses "child-free" with "child-less." While they may seem similar to some, the former implies single people who do not have, nor want to have children, and the latter, those who don't currently have children (as I'm sure you know).
His assertion that men desire feminine women, but to lay off the makeup. Well, how much makeup is too much, and some men view makeup as an aspect of femininity. Is he asserting men desire women who are au naturel? Really? Just from the discussions in this forum regarding looks and dating, and who attracts who, the women who "better present" themselves almost always fair better than the ones who don't. And that can include dressing better and wearing makeup. Even threads in the Beauty/Fashion sub-forum delves into this quite a bit. A lot of men respond better to women who look feminine and wear makeup. Sure, too much is not a good thing, and I'm sure a lot recognize that, but it just goes to show that it is very subjective and preferences vary widely. So his assertion can't possibly apply to "men" as a whole.
(I'm not tackling this from the view that he's saying these are requirements for women to attract male attention. I'm simply challenging his assertion that the bulk of his advice applies to most men.)
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Nearly all of those would consider themselves feminists as well. As the college educated ones would likely know what feminism really means. Or hopefully they would.
I can't recall a college educated guy, including my hockey playing mates, that wanted a woman that wouldn't consider themselves a feminist. It is hard to respect a woman that doesn't respect themselves and consider themselves and equal in society.
You date men who label themselves progressive. Enough said. They're not going to have any other view point.
Any other view point? To what are you referring? They're educated enough to have something intelligent to say, and not regurgitate antiquated mumbo jumbo.
Perhaps you have a narrow view of what "progressive" means. How about broadening that view point.
Once again, she hits the nail on the head. If you are thinking of arguing her points, reconsider. You may be waving the flag from the boys side, but listen. If its women you want to be with, it would serve your interests to know the full story, and that includes women's perspective.
If you should find a woman out there who seems liking being submissive you will be surprised when someday she comes to you saying that she really has hated it all this time. And why would this be?
Because it isn't how intelligent people act, If you are intelligent and capable being treated as if you aren't is a big huge turn-off.
However, if you are submissive to each other, meaning you look for ways of making each other happy and content, thats a totally different story. Then it's sweetness. But, looking at the word submissive, its just not right.
Okay, I don't want to hog ALL the attention - but I also cook almost every night. And I'm a pretty gosh darn (see - I'm not cussing) good cook! Just sayin'.
If I attract someone awesome, if not, that's fine too. Really got sick of trying to fit a list of credentials for someone else. It's really unnecessary.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTrippn
A part of feminism believes in equal rights, there is more to it than just equality.
Not in second wave feminism (which is what almost everyone talks about when discussing feminism) It is almost entirely about equity. ERA, equal pay (act of 63), civil rights act (which is more than about race), the ability for women to pursue any career they wish to pursue, breaking down economic and social barriers based on sex, promoting economic independence, etc.
Well, as we've noted from other threads, lots of things that "hark back to traditional times" are viewed as attractive. Consider all the chivalry/gentlemanly threads we've seen lately. Whether you or I like it or not, there are LOTS of people out there (men AND women) that long for the way things "used to be".
Again, that's why I ask about the particulars he's referring to. If he's referring to a subset of men. Midwestern or Southern men, men raised within a "conservative" or religious household, and so on and so forth. Men who are familiar and comfortable with specific gender roles and ideologies. This provides context. Just saying "men" doesn't. Because the men I've interacted with and dated fall outside these paradigms.
It's like saying "Christian men desire X, Y and Z in a woman/partner!" Well, not exactly. Certain brands/types of Christian men desire X characteristics or qualities. There are 2.1 billion Christians within Christendom. They don't all believe or desire the same thing. Now, qualifying the statement helps. Some Christian men, or Baptist men, Episcopalian men....
When my husband lived in Modesto, CA, a city with a lot of conservative and religious folk, a lot of the women's profiles talked about wanting a "good Christian man" and made a lot of references to Jesus (and their cell phones or pets). That's what one would expect in that region, but in another region that is more metro or progressive, and there would be a greater diversity in ideologies and lifestyles.
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Personally, I don't want a submissive woman, and cooking is just bonus points for me. I'm not sure how the "majority" of men feel about those two in particular, but cooking certainly wouldn't hurt if someone were looking for something to improve about themselves.
I was never, ever asked about my cooking abilities, nor did I ever read anything of the like in any possible match's profile. Actually, cooking only came up when talking about it as a mutual interest. Like, I like cooking X or Y. But never has an expectation of cooking been expressed.
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look mom no hands, LOL
