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I'm not saying that women shouldn't be attracted to physical attractiveness. Physical attractiveness is by definition, attractive. No one can deny that. But women seem to be ashamed of being called shallow if they admit that they care about looks first and personality second.
Women are honest about height - they want a guy as tall as them or taller. About money - they want a guy who has a goodpaying job. About status - they want a guy who doesn't live with his parents over a certain age, who has friends, is socially well adjusted, etc.
But looks is the one thing that women are ashamed of saying matters. Why is that?
I've approached many women, had long conversations with them (so they liked my personality), only to be told that I'm not their type or for me to get their number and they don't answer or some excuse. One girl said to me midconversation: "I'm not attracted to you". Yes, that hurt but it saved me time. I walked away.
Honesty please, women. Just level with us. "You're not tall enough", "I don't date guys of your background", "I don't like your face", "your body's too frail/thin/girly/fat...".
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It would save a lot of men thinking: "Did I say something wrong?". "Maybe I needed to say more words/different words/less words/arrghghghghgh".
Some of the guys who have come on to me were extremely attractive by society's terms, and people I knew, but I wasn't attracted to them physically. Some of the guys I have liked in the past were considered average or ugly by society's terms, and ect.
I don't understand how my attraction works but I get tired of trying to figure it out. Looks do pull me in, but believe it's ultimately personality that keeps me around. I think my heart still has to mature for me to really understand it. But like you said people don't like to be called shallow, it's not really gender specific.
Confidence and looks are both part of the formula. Confidence might be a little over rated and looks underrated because women have an incentive to say that. They know you can't change your looks for the most part but the scheme is to get good looking guys to act the way they want while ugly guys don't overstep their boundaries.
If they outright admitted to looks law then attractive guys could get away with being more douchey than they already do. Ugly guys would be insulted and frustrated and probably resort to violence to take what they want. It would bring us back to the dark ages !
I'm not saying that women shouldn't be attracted to physical attractiveness. Physical attractiveness is by definition, attractive. No one can deny that. But women seem to be ashamed of being called shallow if they admit that they care about looks first and personality second.
Women are honest about height - they want a guy as tall as them or taller. About money - they want a guy who has a goodpaying job. About status - they want a guy who doesn't live with his parents over a certain age, who has friends, is socially well adjusted, etc.
But looks is the one thing that women are ashamed of saying matters. Why is that?
I've approached many women, had long conversations with them (so they liked my personality), only to be told that I'm not their type or for me to get their number and they don't answer or some excuse. One girl said to me midconversation: "I'm not attracted to you". Yes, that hurt but it saved me time. I walked away.
Honesty please, women. Just level with us. "You're not tall enough", "I don't date guys of your background", "I don't like your face", "your body's too frail/thin/girly/fat...".
[Snip.]
It would save a lot of men thinking: "Did I say something wrong?". "Maybe I needed to say more words/different words/less words/arrghghghghgh".
Every human on the planet is attracted to who they are attracted to no matter what the reason and sometimes you just cannot pinpoint exactly what the attraction is because it is a combination of the entire person and there is no defining that to an exact definition.
When humans understand this completely all the stress and over analyzing about others and dating/relationships will ease quite a bit and people might actually get a date then have more than that one date and it might actually turn into a good long lasting relationship, flaws and all.
Most girls are attracted to looks, others to charisma or what not.
Most guys are attracted to looks, others to personality or what not.
It's all subjective.
Subjective? Slightly. Not all women found Brad Pitt (at his peak) hot, but those that didn't, probably like David Beckham or Tyson Beckford or Ian Somerhalder or X or Y. If a woman doesn't like X-looking guy, she'll probably like Y-goodlooking guy. Yes, a handful of women have unique tastes, but these exceptions only prove the rule.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-21-2014 at 02:54 PM..
Reason: Personal attack.
Confidence and looks are both part of the formula. Confidence might be a little over rated and looks underrated because women have an incentive to say that. They know you can't change your looks for the most part but the scheme is to get good looking guys to act the way they want while ugly guys don't overstep their boundaries.
If they outright admitted to looks law then attractive guys could get away with being more douchey than they already do. Ugly guys would be insulted and frustrated and probably resort to violence to take what they want. It would bring us back to the dark ages !
No it would mean that ugly guys would stop approaching women at all taking away the attention they desire. I have seen how easy attractive men get women while I got rejections so I gave up ugly men get women their not attracted to.
Every human on the planet is attracted to who they are attracted to no matter what the reason and sometimes you just cannot pinpoint exactly what the attraction is because it is a combination of the entire person and there is no defining that to an exact definition.
When humans understand this completely all the stress and over analyzing about others and dating/relationships will ease quite a bit and people might actually get a date then have more than that one date and it might actually turn into a good long lasting relationship, flaws and all.
looks like it's time to renew your membership at the Rose Colored Glasses Society. No matter what the reason, every human being is attracted to facial symmetry and sexual dimorphism. Understanding this will do nothing to change the underlying qualities that people are attracted to. Either you posses these genetic traits or you don't.
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Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-21-2014 at 02:44 PM..
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