How come large amount of single people here are guys < 30; women > 30? (family, kids)
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First, there are a lot of women on this forum who are under 30 and have their own questions and gripe threads. I also personally know women under 30 who are very attractive and are quite active on relationship forums or have their own blog where they complain about their relationships (or lack thereof).
But I don think men especially the 30 and under range (Yo!) are more prominent here. I think this is due to a number of reasons:
1) Women have more options than men and have more control over where a relationship goes or doesn't go. If a women is looking to have sex with hundreds of different men or she's merely looking for a boyfriend or she's into serial monogamy or if she's looking for a life partner she's far more likely to get what she wants than a man with a similar goal whatever it may be.
2)
a) A lot guys nowadays don't seem as competent with women as previous generations. I think the increase in gaming and the internet play a role. Men don't pick up on subtlety the way women do and if a guy has spent less time around women in his formative years, he'll be less equipped to deal with them when he gets older. They will be also be more sensitive to rejection and less sensitive to the signs a women is taking a liking to him.
b) I think that gender roles aren't as clear cut as they used to be. Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the problem is for a lot guys is that the "rules" and expectations are blurred and nowadays a larger portion of guys have no idea what to do and are getting a lot conflicting information and mixed signals.
3) Women have a larger support group than men. Now, women are awful to each other. H.L. Mencken once remarked that a misogynist is a man who hates women as much as they hate each other and themselves. However, women have a larger and less judgmental support group than each other. A woman could do the most morally repulsive things and her friends will still console her. They will talk to each other about how Sarah is such a sociopathic skank for telling her boyfriend that she was pregnant and needed $600 for an abortion and then used that money to buy new lingerie to impress her boyfriend's personal trainer who she is sleeping with, but they will look Sarah right in the eye when she is in the same room with her and tell her that it's not her fault and she needs to make herself happy.
Guys are the opposite. We take pleasure in one-upping each other and making each other feel like crap. Guys don't talk about relationships and girls they are into that much with other guys because other guys are a--holes (myself included). If a guy has girl troubles he is automatically seen as less than a man by a large percentage of other guys (who have never ever had a problem with at anytime with any woman and the only problem they have is penile erosion from the non-stop parade of sexual conquests). It's hard to get any advice from them.
Or even worse. Getting advice from the majority of men. You've guys who don't know s--t, but want to give advice because if they don't then it implies that they don't know s--t. You've got PUAs who seem to be comprised of incredibly insecure men and psychopaths. You've also got your joke advice, "Show her your balls. Chicks love balls."
Only my absolute closest male friends could even begin to have seriously given me girl advice when I was younger, and in hindsight, they were as pathetic with girls as I was.
There's probably some of that, sure. However, even one in particular I talk to quite a bit has never once mentioned an actual guy she is dating, seeing, FWBing, whatever. She is 26 and just finished her MBA, in fact.
She talks about a couple celeb crushes, but that's it. Mostly we talk about obscure topics, music, and 80s/90s culture - her knowledge coming from growing up with Gen X parents (making me feel very old), mine from my own youth. She's very cute, with a bookish/geeky/exotic look (much like my wife), to the point where if I were single and maybe a tad younger, I'd make a move, except that we work together. Bottom line, she HAS to have men pursuing her. However, since I've never acted flirtatiously towards her myself (I'm married and faithful), that might be why she has stayed tight-lipped on that subject.
I think timberline made a good point. These women may consider you simply a coworker they are friendly with, but since they regard you as older, they aren't as keen to discussing things that they would discuss with you if you were 25.
That is probably the main difference from when you actually were 25. At that time, you were their peer, their equal. Someone on the same social spectrum.
Also, I'm not sure where you rank within your company, but if you are in a higher/superior position, that's another reason they may hold back somewhat on certain things.
Sticking to fun, rather benign subjects like entertainment, and even celeb crushes probably fall into this category, are safer in a work environment than relationships, sex, or even politics.
Enjoy the company, but don't overanalyze. That said, I do agree that it seems younger men are less able to talk to women than they were when I was that age. I think it's due to the proliferation of electronic entertainment including video games, internet, etc.
I think because when men and women are younger (18-28) the men are at a disadvantage, they tend to be broke or just starting out in their careers, they're also not only competing for women with men their own age, but also with older men. Yonger women on the other hand are at a major advantage, they have their youth and beauty going for them. And men from all age brackets want to be with them. But fast forward 20 years and now men are at the advantage. The men are now older, mature, stable, established in their careers. The ones who are not already married beome desirable. Women on the other hand are no longer that young hot tenderoni she once was, and men her own age would prefer someone younger, and all her friends are married, and her biological clock is ticking, and she's getting desperate. So men who she probably wouldn't have giving the time of day when she was young, has turned into she just wants a "nice guy", which is to the advantage of men.
Because those are the worst times in dating for both genders. There's a reason why you never see any under 25 year old woman saying she has problems getting dates
Lol, you said what I said, but just gave the cliff notes version.
I think because when men and women are younger (18-28) the men are ata disadvantage, they tend to be broke or just starting out in their careers, they're also not only competing for women with men their own age, but also with older men. Yonger women on the other hand are at a major advantage, they have their youth and beauty going for them. And men from all age brackets want to be with them. But fast forward 20 years and now men are at the advantage. The men are now older, mature, stable, established in their careers. The ones who are not already married beome desirable. Women on the other hand are no longer that young hot tenderoni she once was, and men her own age would prefer someone younger, and all her friends are married, and her biological clock is ticking, and she's getting desperate. So men who she probably wouldn't have giving the time of day when she was young, has turned into she just wants a "nice guy", which is to the advantage of men.
The pretty standard truth that our strong independent women (trademarked) are going to balk at.
I think because when men and women are younger (18-28) the men are ata disadvantage, they tend to be broke or just starting out in their careers, they're also not only competing for women with men their own age, but also with older men. Yonger women on the other hand are at a major advantage, they have their youth and beauty going for them. And men from all age brackets want to be with them. But fast forward 20 years and now men are at the advantage. The men are now older, mature, stable, established in their careers. The ones who are not already married beome desirable. Women on the other hand are no longer that young hot tenderoni she once was, and men her own age would prefer someone younger, and all her friends are married, and her biological clock is ticking, and she's getting desperate. So men who she probably wouldn't have giving the time of day when she was young, has turned into she just wants a "nice guy", which is to the advantage of men.
I tend to think this is true overall... that women have an advantage in dating when younger and men do when older. But specific to this forum (which is what this thread is about), not so much. Like I said, a lot of the women here are married and even aren't looking--people forget this is a "relationship" forum, not a dating forum or looking for a relationship forum. Seems like most of our regular women posters are married to me. Then you have a portion of women like me who were married, now divorced, who aren't really in any hurry and aren't really despite for a relationship. We've been there and done that. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to meet someone, but I don't "need" someone (and in a lot of these case, mine included, I have no ticking clock... well, I do, but I don't care because I've already had my child and am not interested in more. So there is no rush or desperation).
When you get down to it, the number of women on this forum who are "desperate" on this forum is fairly low. I know some men keep telling us we must be, but I know I am not and I get the impression others aren't either. At least, not many are starting fatalistic/melodramatic threads about giving up and such. I also think the number of men who are desperate is fairly low. I really think it's one or two guys that post here under new screen names all the time. It gives the illusion of many men when in reality, it's less than a handful (if even that).
I think because when men and women are younger (18-28) the men are at a disadvantage, they tend to be broke or just starting out in their careers, they're also not only competing for women with men their own age, but also with older men. Yonger women on the other hand are at a major advantage, they have their youth and beauty going for them. And men from all age brackets want to be with them. But fast forward 20 years and now men are at the advantage. The men are now older, mature, stable, established in their careers. The ones who are not already married beome desirable. Women on the other hand are no longer that young hot tenderoni she once was, and men her own age would prefer someone younger, and all her friends are married, and her biological clock is ticking, and she's getting desperate. So men who she probably wouldn't have giving the time of day when she was young, has turned into she just wants a "nice guy", which is to the advantage of men.
I tend to think this is true overall... that women have an advantage in dating when younger and men do when older. But specific to this forum (which is what this thread is about), not so much. Like I said, a lot of the women here are married and even aren't looking--people forget this is a "relationship" forum, not a dating forum or looking for a relationship forum. Seems like most of our regular women posters are married to me. Then you have a portion of women like me who were married, now divorced, who aren't really in any hurry and aren't really despite for a relationship. We've been there and done that. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to meet someone, but I don't "need" someone (and in a lot of these case, mine included, I have no ticking clock... well, I do, but I don't care because I've already had my child and am not interested in more. So there is no rush or desperation).
When you get down to it, the number of women on this forum who are "desperate" on this forum is fairly low. I know some men keep telling us we must be, but I know I am not and I get the impression others aren't either. At least, not many are starting fatalistic/melodramatic threads about giving up and such. I also think the number of men who are desperate is fairly low. I really think it's one or two guys that post here under new screen names all the time. It gives the illusion of many men when in reality, it's less than a handful (if even that).
Although I am very happy in my marriage, and wouldn't trade it for the world, in general, I think women are happier single than men are. I know I was fairly content single.
I would have liked to meet a guy who hit all the right buttons (literally and figuratively) and made me happy (and of course I eventually did), but I wasn't seeking it out all that much.
In general, I think we have a better support group and are better at making ourselves happy than men naturally are.
This isn't a smack against men, it's how we are wired.
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