How come large amount of single people here are guys < 30; women > 30? (kid, sex)
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Although I am very happy in my marriage, and wouldn't trade it for the world, in general, I think women are happier single than men are. I know I was fairly content single.
I would have liked to meet a guy who hit all the right buttons (literally and figuratively) and made me happy (and of course I eventually did), but I wasn't seeking it out all that much.
In general, I think we have a better support group and are better at making ourselves happy than men naturally are.
This isn't a smack against men, it's how we are wired.
I agree... this is a big part of it too. Although I've known men who are very happy single as well. But overall, it seems to be that women tend to like it better. And I am very content now. I've said it before, this is the happiest, least stressful time in my whole life. I love it. (although I did have a weird and loveless marriage... I should qualify with that).
Yes, I would like the "luxury" of having a man in my life too. I love men. It would be icing on the cake! But I don't "need" it... not having a man in my life would add to it, but not having a man doesn't take away from it.
Maybe we are wired that way due to biology? Like I said, typically women live longer than men... so maybe, in some weird way, since nature knows most women will be on their own (usually in old age) we are wired differently to cope. Or it could just be social... women tend to have more social support like you said. Or maybe even both! Who knows.
When you get down to it, the number of women on this forum who are "desperate" on this forum is fairly low. I know some men keep telling us we must be, but I know I am not and I get the impression others aren't either. At least, not many are starting fatalistic/melodramatic threads about giving up and such. I also think the number of men who are desperate is fairly low. I really think it's one or two guys that post here under new screen names all the time. It gives the illusion of many men when in reality, it's less than a handful (if even that).
You should never truly be "desperate" for a partner. Not only is it an unattractive trait, it's unhealthy. If it does lead to a relationship, it's rarely a healthy or fulfilling one.
I do understand the feeling of being lonely, or having nothing to offer, or, even just horny. I've been all of those in the past.
The best advice, and this goes for both genders - just live your life. Do things you enjoy. If you want to meet someone, that's fine, and even OLD is one way to achieve that, but don't put your life on hold for it. Do things you enjoy that the opposite gender (or same if that's your preference) is likely to be involved in. Just make conversation.
You can try the "PUA" thing. It never worked on me, I just thought they were d-bags.
I am trying to reinvent myself by going back to college and get a better job so I can have the life I want. On top of that if i ever meet a good woman I hope I can make enough to give my kids things I never had. On top of being in there life more and not having to work seven days a week 12 to 14 hours days to make a buck working retail. Also I want to go on family vacations and dpo family things and go places.
That being said I cant work 40+ hours a week take two classes and date .
Although I am very happy in my marriage, and wouldn't trade it for the world, in general, I think women are happier single than men are. I know I was fairly content single.
I would have liked to meet a guy who hit all the right buttons (literally and figuratively) and made me happy (and of course I eventually did), but I wasn't seeking it out all that much.
In general, I think we have a better support group and are better at making ourselves happy than men naturally are.
This isn't a smack against men, it's how we are wired.
The bold is the right answer. I can go through my facebook and many women are talking about getting together for a female wine and ice cream night, or road trip, or shopping, or a concert. Men just don't do those same things or have similar support groups. It's just not in our nature, since we're naturally seekers to our own destination.
You should never truly be "desperate" for a partner. Not only is it an unattractive trait, it's unhealthy. If it does lead to a relationship, it's rarely a healthy or fulfilling one.
I do understand the feeling of being lonely, or having nothing to offer, or, even just horny. I've been all of those in the past.
The best advice, and this goes for both genders - just live your life. Do things you enjoy. If you want to meet someone, that's fine, and even OLD is one way to achieve that, but don't put your life on hold for it. Do things you enjoy that the opposite gender (or same if that's your preference) is likely to be involved in. Just make conversation.
You can try the "PUA" thing. It never worked on me, I just thought they were d-bags.
The short version: You're more likely to find a GOOD relationship meeting someone while doing something you enjoy, and you just happen to hit it off, than going to a bar or on Tinder.
I'm not knocking OLD, it works for a lot of people, but at least there, you can find out a bit about someone before meeting them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrueRulz
The short version: You're more likely to find a GOOD relationship meeting someone while doing something you enjoy, and you just happen to hit it off, than going to a bar or on Tinder.
I'm not knocking OLD, it works for a lot of people, but at least there, you can find out a bit about someone before meeting them.
That is only true if what you enjoy doing are activities that involve other people, and when they involve other people, include single people of your preferred gender. That isn't always, or even commonly, the case. If a 35 yo woman loves quilting and scrapbooking, it isn't likely she'll meet single guys doing what she loves.
Women hold the entire deck of cards in the under 30 crowd.
it's pretty equal in the 30-40 crowd
by 40 men hold all the cards providing they're not trying to date women in their 20's
that's life
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