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Say, "Let's talk about the real reason you are asking me this. If you'll be honest with me, I will be honest with you." And if she wants to tell you the honest reason, listen and understand. Sounds like she has a touch of insecurity, she cares what you think and she is seeking reassurance that you find her attractive. Every woman even women routinely seen as unattractive have features about them that are attractive. Focus on one or two of those for her. That way she can come away empowered instead of put down (even though with that leading question, she is asking to be criticized).
I like a girl with a bit of meat on those bones. If one asked me if I thought she looked fat and she was in the good looking zone, I would say, "No, you look good."
If she was outside the good looking zone I would say, "Do YOU think you are fat? I walk to try to keep my weight down, you are welcome to come walking with me if you like."
One tactful way to deal with this situation in a relationship is to reassure her that you love her and find her attractive. Then, you can provide an opening for further discussion by asking if something has happened that has caused her to worry about it. If she tells you that she does feel bad about her body, you can tell her that you will support her as she addresses it.
Last edited by randomparent; 01-26-2015 at 02:06 PM..
One tactful way to deal with this situation in a relationship is to reassure her that you love her and you find her attractive. Then, you can provide an opening for further discussion by asking if something has happened that has caused her to worry about it. If she tells you that she does feel bad about her body, you can tell her that you will support her as she addresses it.
This is a very good answer.
I believe it's important to know why a person is asking you these types of questions.
Sometimes, they may not exactly know why themselves, so it's good to probe further to have an honest, thoughtful discussion.
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I dated more than a few overweight women, and while none of them ever directly asked me if I thought they were fat, some of them asked why I was so interested in dating a fat woman. In a sometimes embarrassing series of questions, answers, trial and error I went from, "Because I just like fat chicks" (which led to her not feeling unique so much as me dating her because she was fat and it was her only quality) to a more polished explanation. Something like, "I'm physically attracted to you and that was enough to make me want to get to know you better to see if we had something and see where it went."
My wife, a few months after we had our first child, was still struggling to shed baby weight, a struggle that proved to last several years. At a work function she compared herself to some of the more lean, slender wives of my colleagues and later told me she felt sorry for me because I was the only one in attendance who had a fat wife. I told her I didn't have a fat wife or a skinny wife, I had the perfect wife. Was it enough to assure her? Not really, but that was a personal issue for her to work through herself with my support. And as I've indicated on other threads here, she has made an immense amount of progress with it.
I like a girl with a bit of meat on those bones. If one asked me if I thought she looked fat and she was in the good looking zone, I would say, "No, you look good."
If she was outside the good looking zone I would say, "Do YOU think you are fat? I walk to try to keep my weight down, you are welcome to come walking with me if you like."
Wins the "Mr. Diplomacy" award.
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