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You might try, with the help of a therapist, do try to deal with people in reality instead of a fantasy. It's actually far more fulfilling. And NONE of them would live up to your fantasies, I'm sure, we're all incredibly flawed. And many times those flaws are endearing and charming.
You're really limiting your potential opportunities by crawling up and hiding in your shell. Without taking risk, your capacity for achievement declines exponentially.
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"Just livin' day by day"
(set 27 days ago)
Location: USA
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In my mid-30's, I've given up on dating myself. As someone who never been in a relationship it takes a toll on my health accompanied with feelings of lonliness.
You're really limiting your potential opportunities by crawling up and hiding in your shell. Without taking risk, your capacity for achievement declines exponentially.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Fantasies aren't real. Reality is. And reality has touch and real emotion.
Also, that's a good reason why most people grow out of celebrity infatuation.
I get what you guys are saying. I enjoy fantasizing, but reality could be even better under the right circumstances.
I think you have it backwards. You keep thinking that IF you meet the right person you'll be able to form a connection, and IF you meet the right person you'll be able to have sex. You have to have those problems fixed BEFORE you start dating again.
You seem like a really nice person, but in all likelihood your issues will prevent you from having a relationship with another healthy person. But it's your choice on how you want your life to be.
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I think you have it backwards. You keep thinking that IF you meet the right person you'll be able to form a connection, and IF you meet the right person you'll be able to have sex. You have to have those problems fixed BEFORE you start dating again.
You seem like a really nice person, but in all likelihood your issues will prevent you from having a relationship with another healthy person. But it's your choice on how you want your life to be.
I've tried to force things in the past and felt like I had to do things to please other people and follow trends when it wasn't what I really wanted. Obviously those situations didn't work out, and I'm not going to do that anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
They really don't. I'm married to Kate Upton in my fantasy.
No, OP has literally said in this thread that she's never or rarely had a deep emotional connection with another human being in 30 years, either romantic or non-romantic, besides her cat and her parents. No speculation needed, it's straight from the horse's mouth. That's a giant red flag to me for a troubled individual, or somebody who generally struggles with social situations, who could use some help to improve on that. I'm introverted, I don't like everybody I meet, but I've at least had several meaningful relationships in my (almost) 30 years.
I have been following this thread since the OP started it. When it was started I applauded the OP's decision as I am also one who has permanently stepped away from the "official" dating scene. I still date women sporadically but I do not utilize OLD, bars, clubs or the like. I will say that in my process of occasional dating I seem to find people that make good friends which is fine by me as I am content without a formal romantic relationship.
However unlike the OP, I easily form non-romantic attachments. I worked with two teams of people at my job for six months before the company started offshoring their jobs. It has been six months or more since those people have been gone and I still miss having them in my day-to-day life. I am introverted but I could not imagine life without the non-romantic relationships. They provide my life with a good portion of its meaning.
I have been following this thread since the OP started it. When it was started I applauded the OP's decision as I am also one who has permanently stepped away from the "official" dating scene. I still date women sporadically but I do not utilize OLD, bars, clubs or the like. I will say that in my process of occasional dating I seem to find people that make good friends which is fine by me as I am content without a formal romantic relationship.
However unlike the OP, I easily form non-romantic attachments. I worked with two teams of people at my job for six months before the company started offshoring their jobs. It has been six months or more since those people have been gone and I still miss having them in my day-to-day life. I am introverted but I could not imagine life without the non-romantic relationships. They provide my life with a good portion of its meaning.
My mom is a person who makes friends wherever she goes even when she's not trying to, but my dad and I just aren't very sociable. It doesn't mean that we don't sometimes enjoy the company of others, but we don't feel a need to seek others out and we're bad at keeping in contact with people. For me, just because I haven't talked to someone in six months or more doesn't mean that I like them any less. I'm usually just wrapped up with other things in my life and I assume they are too. Sure, it would be nice to see them, but I'm content with e-mailing them every now and then to see how they're doing. I don't need the face to face interaction.
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