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Was he a fairly conservative guy? I would assume from your outfit that you don't dress very conservatively - maybe that was an issue? Either way - it doesn't matter. You live and you learn. For the record, I wouldn't get all lovey dovey with anyone on a first or second date unless we knew each other before and knew that we were starting a relationship.
Perhaps you and a few others were rebounds from his broken marriage,then maybe him and the wife got back together.. As for the idea he was just in it for sex? if that was the case from the OPs description he certainly wasnt pushing that hard to bring that about.
He was never married. At least he told me that. I mean I guess everyone you meet (unless they are through family or friends) could be married... He did tell me he was in a 4 year relationship with a woman 14 years older than him who had 2 kids which ended in September. I mean I guess there is a chance they could have gotten back together, but it's like that with anyone else who ended a serious relationship IMO. And no I don't think she was a sugar mommy or whatever to him.
On fupa, it's my problem area LOL. I'm working on it =D
On my outfit, he doesn't seem really conservative or liberal. On our first date I wore a white v neck t shirt (I have large breasts so I'm sorry), and a mid length pink skirt with high heels. On our second date since we were hiking I wore loose shorts and a tank top with tennis shoes. On our first date there was flirting and good conversation and he said I looked better in person and he said something like I was very pretty and "voluptuous" .
On my Face, I would post that but I post on the Reno board and I don't want to be recognized. I would post it on here but I could see someone quoting it and that it stays here forever. I would be more than happy if anyone wants to see my face through PM. I look like a cross between Snookie and Lindsay Lohan which I'm sure probably isn't a good thing to a lot of people though LMAO.
I would say this is a good example of the "too much too soon" rule. Why all the kisses on the second date? Hand-holding a complete stranger on the first date? And rushing a 2nd date on the very next day?
Too much too soon. It very rarely, if ever, works out.
Exactly. In fact, him coming on too strong is a huge red flag and is a very successful technique used by players to get in your pants.
I wouldn't lose your mind about this dude. It's not you- it's him, seriously.
Was he a fairly conservative guy? I would assume from your outfit that you don't dress very conservatively - maybe that was an issue? Either way - it doesn't matter. You live and you learn. For the record, I wouldn't get all lovey dovey with anyone on a first or second date unless we knew each other before and knew that we were starting a relationship.
This.
Who knows what he was thinking? You may simply not have been his type; you allowed him to kiss you as much as he wanted on both dates (especially date #2), and it sounds like you didn't try to cover up the "voluptuous" parts with, say, a blazer, on the first date, and a loose shirt layer over the tank top, on the second date. Maybe he's a more conservative type in that regard, or maybe he prefers smaller-breasted women, and women who present a little bit of a challenge, rather than letting him be all over them to a degree, on the first couple of dates.
The fact is, we don't know. But he did pretty much say, when you asked, that you weren't his type. It's pretty clear to me that he was using you for some cheap-thrill kisses with a "voluptuous" woman.
Ruth may be right, but I would say good riddance to any guy who faulted me for wearing a tshirt and the tank top because it showed the girls.
I've never considered kissing and hand holding to be any big deal, though I would have to really like the guy to be kissing him. Did some pretty intense making out with hubby on the first date. Liked him a lot so I wanted to make sure we were good in the kissing department before we went any farther.
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Ruth may be right, but I would say good riddance to any guy who faulted me for wearing a tshirt and the tank top because it showed the girls.
Well, everything that I wear shows the girls because my girls are very showy. But I was basing this on the outfit that she was wearing in her pic. If that's her style - it might not be compatible with someone a bit more conservative.
Quote:
I've never considered kissing and hand holding to be any big deal, though I would have to really like the guy to be kissing him. Did some pretty intense making out with hubby on the first date. Liked him a lot so I wanted to make sure we were good in the kissing department before we went any farther.
So, I know that there are lots of people that made out or slept with their now partner on the first date - and everything ended up happily ever after. They knew that had an instant connection and couldn't keep their hands off each other. And they were right and have been together ever since. And I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that. But for every "happy" story - I'm sure there are hundreds of stories in which one person thought they had this amazing connection and the other person just wanted to get laid. Or a free dinner. Or to have a one time fling while cheating on their SO. Or whatever. And so there was no happy ending - just one person getting hurt because they thought this was the start of something when it wasn't. After one or 2 dates - you really don't know someone. You might know them enough to know that you want to see them again or that you don't want to see them again - and you might find out later on down the road that your initial impression of them was correct. But you also might find out that your initial impression of them was totally off and it took you a few weeks or months to find out. So, my advice to my friends who wind up getting hurt a lot is to take things slowly or know that you might never hear from the person again. If you feel like sleeping with a guy on the first date is the right thing to do - then do it but know that you might never hear from him again. He may end up as your husband but he may end up dropping of the face of the earth. And you need to be okay with either outcome. If you aren't, then you shouldn't sleep with him (or make out with him) until you know that your feelings are reciprocated.
I'm not really sure why this guy is taking so much heat to be honest. I've dated a lot in my life, and I've kissed within the first few dates just to test the waters so to speak. It doesn't necessarily mean I want a LTR, and it certainly doesn't make me a player. With a few, it just didn't feel right so it didn't go any further. And I've had women do this with me within the first few dates too and never heard from them again. I just brushed it off and figured I wasn't their type and moved on. No harm, no foul. At least he had the courtesy to tell you he wasn't interested in dating you any more.
Last edited by david0966; 05-09-2015 at 11:51 AM..
Your absolutely right. I just don't think she did anything wrong, at least from her post. Except the fact that she seem's so upset by it.
I go with the rule that if you show the girls you wear something more conservative on the bottom. Short skirt? Cover the girls.
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And rushing a 2nd date on the very next day?
