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I read some but not all posts because there are 10 pages here. Forgive me if this has already been addressed and I missed it, but did you and your gentleman friend discuss goals? Long-term life goals, relationship goals, etc. Maybe when he said you have nothing in common he was going a little deeper than just interests. ???
I read some but not all posts because there are 10 pages here. Forgive me if this has already been addressed and I missed it, but did you and your gentleman friend discuss goals? Long-term life goals, relationship goals, etc. Maybe when he said you have nothing in common he was going a little deeper than just interests. ???
We both didn't discuss career goals, but we realize we are both indifferent to having kids. We also discussed why dating in our town is difficult and what we are both wanting in our lives right now relationship wise.
We also discovered that our previous relationships (our last one) ended due to the exact same thing: the other party had kids. We discussed at this point in our lives, we cannot date people with other kids.
In reading your OP, my gut thought was that he's the type of guy that comes off as real agreeable and such with all the hand holding and kissing and whatnot and most likely since you didn't put out he bounced.... I don't mean that to be harsh, but some guys put on the whole "connection" thing just to seem agreeable enough to see about getting laid.
I could be way off and I hope I am and maybe he just wasn't feeling it as much as you and was being polite........
Either way, I wouldn't waste too much energy on it... I know it sucks to have something you think is a connection to blow up in your face.... that really sucks... cause we don't connect easily with others... and when we feel like we do it feels good.
This is what it sounded like to me. If the OP says she doesn't hold hands and kiss people unless she's feeling a connection, and she assumes guys operate the same way (bad assumption), she shouldn't kiss strangers. Especially strangers who pursue these moderately intimate behaviors after having just met her. A guy who announces upon introduction that he's not into casual sex, then proceeds to get all touchy-kissy is highly suspect. Or should be. Nobody feels a connection that fast. Within the first half hour or so of meeting? Nobody. They may feel attraction if the other person is attractive. But attraction and connection are two very different things.
Some guys are into seeing how far they can get in the shortest amount of time, and manufacturing "chemistry" is the main way it's done.
We both didn't discuss career goals, but we realize we are both indifferent to having kids. We also discussed why dating in our town is difficult and what we are both wanting in our lives right now relationship wise.
We also discovered that our previous relationships (our last one) ended due to the exact same thing: the other party had kids. We discussed at this point in our lives, we cannot date people with other kids.
Very sorry. You're probably WAY over it by now. I hope you find your prince soon.
This is what it sounded like to me. If the OP says she doesn't hold hands and kiss people unless she's feeling a connection, and she assumes guys operate the same way (bad assumption), she shouldn't kiss strangers. Especially strangers who pursue these moderately intimate behaviors after having just met her. A guy who announces upon introduction that he's not into casual sex, then proceeds to get all touchy-kissy is highly suspect. Or should be. Nobody feels a connection that fast. Within the first half hour or so of meeting? Nobody. They may feel attraction if the other person is attractive. But attraction and connection are two very different things.
Some guys are into seeing how far they can get in the shortest amount of time, and manufacturing "chemistry" is the main way it's done.
I agree about the chemistry thing...
I, in my whole life, never felt all the good chemistry right off the bat with any woman I've ever been with, except for Mrs. Chow, and I don't want to turn this to me, but for someone to be all lovey dovey and huggy kissy and then just turn it off as casually as he did doesn't ring with any real truth.. that is most likely something that the OP doesn't really want to hear... and like I posted before, hopefully I'm wrong, but again... he's the one that went all cold fish on her.......
The most likely answer is that the dude was on booty patrol and forced all of that just to see how far he could take it.... real intimacy doesn't happen in one or two dates........
JMHO of course...
The OP seems like a nice and attractive woman, I'm sure she can move forward just fine.....
One of the first things he did for me on our date was doing a magic trick.
OMG I would have walked out.
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I hope you find your prince soon.
