Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Can you even IMAGINE what it would be like if guys dropped hints in the same manner? Nothing would get done. We'd all be sitting in a house with someone not speaking, with no trash taken out, probably having starved to death because there's no food being delivered because "pizza sounds really good" but it wasn't requested, the TV off because neither person knows what the other wants to watch, and so on.... Just stop.
My dear man. Can I disabuse you of the notion that hints are a female thing? I don't need to "just imagine."
Plus, a little humor helps. If she needs something done and cutely begs in a humorous manner, rather than like a nagging harpy, it goes over better.
Um, no. I'm not going to use my "feminine wiles" to get someone to do household chores because his pwecious wittle ego can't handle being told to do something. Would you require a coworker to act coquettish and bat his eyes before you completed a task? No? Then don't expect it from a domestic partner.
I'm not going to nag or be a jerk about it, but I am going to say "hey, could you take out the trash please?"
Or I'll do it myself if I'm not busy.
Perhaps if people would act like adults in relationships and just communicate with each other they wouldn't have so many complaints.
My dear man. Can I disabuse you of the notion that hints are a female thing? I don't need to "just imagine."
Seriously. I love how some men on this forum believe that the way they act with their guy friends is how they act in relationships. I've encountered plenty of men who play complex BS mind games too.
But you are forgetting that everything is in the CONTEXT of the relationship between the two parties. In my case, it's two of us who know each other very well, we've established our patterns of communication & relating over 20 years (we were friends before being in a relationship). the person in McDonald's does not know me and I don't know her. Just like with the flirting stuff: if it's a total stranger, you have to figure out each other's patterns of communication. In business situations or customer/cashier situations, you should be clear and direct. People who are very close to each other communicate in 10,000 other ways, because they know each other well. In my situation, over time, I learned that his reaction to "direct" when it came to household responsibilities was to turn into a 13 year old treating me like a nagging mom. That reaction caused me to be less direct about it. But the problem is that now he can choose to ignore my request and claim to have not gotten it. so when you really look at it, HE was the one who manipulated ME. He reacted to direct requests with sullenness and arguments, leading me to be indirect and "gentle" so that he can now claim he did not understand the message. In reality, he 100% knew what I was saying when I said the trash smelled.
Well then that's a problem with who you're with. Not a matter of "men can't take hints." You know aman that doesn't take hints. Most of the rest of us either do whatever when asked or know the hints, and ignore them.
as far a hints about sex go, especially with strangers which is what this thread was originally about, we CANT acknowledge them. It's a liability.
Somehow these things translate to men being difficult. There's hardly a case for that especially given the number of women here who have publicly acknowledged and attempted to justify hint-dropping.
I'm a good looking guy and even for me it's rare for a woman to flat out throw herself at me. It's usually heavily implied to the point you would have to be a moron not to catch on.
Think about this. The bigger picture of what you're saying. Wondering "why isn't he picking up on my hint?" Is the same as "why am I not being catered to?" I'll say it again, it's a mind game.
Women play mind games and then wonder "why doesn't he know what I want?" Well, you didn't tell him.
Im not discrediting your story. This guy you're describing might have been a moron. But again with the hints and the "if you see her do this, it means that". unless your p***y brings rainbows and pots of treasure, why should you be catered to?
I'll state this for all the women everywhere: I'm not sure what kind of girl's locker room talk you had in school, but no, men do not have a special part of the brain for reading your mind.
Can you even IMAGINE what it would be like if guys dropped hints in the same manner? Nothing would get done. We'd all be sitting in a house with someone not speaking, with no trash taken out, probably having starved to death because there's no food being delivered because "pizza sounds really good" but it wasn't requested, the TV off because neither person knows what the other wants to watch, and so on.... Just stop.
Think about this. The bigger picture is that this wasn't about ME. It was about how he was sitting in the garage, miserable, because no woman wanted him, and trying to figure out what on earth he was doing wrong, what he could do better, what is he not picking up on, why is this or that pattern of failure dogging him.
He was talking to me, his ex, who was married to him for 18 years, as his dating coach, begging me for help in playing the game, because he and I both know that I read and comprehend other people vastly better than he does.
And if you want to play the "you're not so special, your junk ain't made of rainbows" card, he is the one who basically says that if he cannot get a mate, a partner, a woman in his life, to hold his hand and love him and grow old and die with him, then he might as well go off to the Middle East as a mercenary and shoot people until somebody takes him out, because living normal life all alone is just too hard.
Honestly, I see the way men complain sometimes about women's subtle behaviors, as "getting what I want seems to be quite difficult, I will now explain why your crazy behavior is to blame." I assure you that men can be quite as crazy, and also that there are plenty of men out there who have no difficulty reading women's cues and dishing out equally subtle hints right back.
Fortunately, some of us do not absolutely require that game to be played. When a man I love right now failed to pick up on my green lights ("I had a sex dream about you.") and informed me of his tendency to not realize when a woman is willing, I was interested enough in him to bridge the gap and simply tell him that he had my attention, appreciation, consent, and desire.
Um, no. I'm not going to use my "feminine wiles" to get someone to do household chores because his pwecious wittle ego can't handle being told to do something. Would you require a coworker to act coquettish and bat his eyes before you completed a task? No? Then don't expect it from a domestic partner.
I'm not going to nag or be a jerk about it, but I am going to say "hey, could you take out the trash please?"
Or I'll do it myself if I'm not busy.
Perhaps if people would act like adults in relationships and just communicate with each other they wouldn't have so many complaints.
I presented humor or nagging harpy. You disagreed with humor. I mean, you're entitled to do that. Sounds like a fun household.
Maybe this is why men don't live as long. When you get henpecked for long enough, you want to die sooner
Nah...I think men don't live as long, because no woman has EVER, said:
"Hold my beer and watch this..."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
