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Let's say you have a choice between two girls, both the same age (let's say 24), and both the same size (both are a size 2).
One is significantly more beautiful in the face, and absolutely no one would call her ugly; her personality isn't terrible either, it's very down to earth, and she's sweet to you.
The other has a significant amount in common with you (such as you share a common hobby or two) and is well-traveled, well-read, etc. for her age. Her face isn't horrid, but definitely not beautiful. She's rather calm and kind also.
If these two girls were competing for the same guy (you), what would the "less attractive" one have to do to win you over? (For long-term love).
I find myself in this position a lot...as the unattractive one.
I'm not asking about a specific guy or whining, but rather, asking for tips and ideas that might help me "compete" with prettier women my same age.
I know that the usual advice is "work out, makeup, hair, dress nice", however, those things can only do so much when your unattractiveness lies in genetic factors, like having a huge nose.
Thanks in advance for your advice. I appreciate honesty above all; that's always more useful.
For me it's the one that shows a genuine interest in me the person not focused on only what I can provide or do for them. Not shallow and superficial but real. A lady can be not all that attractive but still take care of their bodies. That to me is attractive. I don't find attractive how many women let themselves go after 30. Some things in our appearance we can control and others we can't. A respectful, kind, faithful lady wins for a long-term relationship.
I've HEARD that really attractive women tend to not be great in bed...because they don't HAVE to be. Kinda like good looking people may not have to develop their personalities to the same degree to get through life. And like some guys never develop real "skills" because they think their size is enough.
It's highly untrue. It depends on the emphasis she wants to put on sex, but if she is selfish on that level, then it doesn't matter if she's unattractive or attractive.
Besides, if the only attractive thing your man finds about you is your sexual performance, then you have a problem. One has to be attracted to you first and foremost. Great sex can't keep men for that long if you're not attractive in his eyes at all. That's my opinion.
Though I know one of my exes is dating a girl some may consider "below" average (I'm not bitter, I actually thought that the first time I saw her on her own, way before they started dating. I know it's not nice, but I couldn't help myself and I don't like it at all. I have exes who are dating gorgeous women, and I've got no problem admitting that and even telling them.) and from what I understand, they started as fwb, so sex might keep them together for a while but knowing him, he chases pretty like a hunter, I doubt it'll last long.
It's highly untrue. It depends on the emphasis she wants to put on sex, but if she is selfish on that level, then it doesn't matter if she's unattractive or attractive.
Besides, if the only attractive thing your man finds about you is your sexual performance, then you have a problem. One has to be attracted to you first and foremost. Great sex can't keep men for that long if you're not attractive in his eyes at all. That's my opinion.
Though I know one of my exes is dating a girl some may consider "below" average (I'm not bitter, I actually thought that the first time I saw her on her own, way before they started dating. I know it's not nice, but I couldn't help myself and I don't like it at all. I have exes who are dating gorgeous women, and I've got no problem admitting that and even telling them.) and from what I understand, they started as fwb, so sex might keep them together for a while but knowing him, he chases pretty like a hunter, I doubt it'll last long.
There is merit in what you say. Its been my experience, that what starts with sex, ends with sex. The relationship I am in now, does not place sex as number one on the list ( though its better than great) and it is the first such relationship each of has been in. Speaking just for myself, the feeling of genuine, caring desire , feeling of being whole, needing and being needed, and just plain FUN our relationship provides us, ( and not hardly just for sex) created an energy that could power a city. To me, she is as beautiful as a woman can be, and how society judges her physical attractiveness matters a fart in a high wind, and I can sag, with certainty, she's not in this with me because I have Hollywood looks. Both of us have mastic people in our pasts, and with each other there are no illusions, just real flesh,, blood and bone, marked by both physical and emotional scars, many of which were still Olen wounds when we came together. Some of the physical wounds are still open. And there are days one or the other, or both of us, needs the other to lean on. The scars and wounds we each have are hard won. We share bla king bad very similar physical trauma , due to car/motorcycle accidents so the empathy between us, just on that basis, is pretty damn strong.
There's no plastic in either of our make ups. Its all the real deal, and that spikes the "attractiveness" meter of the charts.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly
Besides, if the only attractive thing your man finds about you is your sexual performance, then you have a problem. One has to be attracted to you first and foremost. Great sex can't keep men for that long if you're not attractive in his eyes at all. That's my opinion.
Yeah, I top out at about 5 years in the case of amazing mouth.
It's highly untrue. It depends on the emphasis she wants to put on sex, but if she is selfish on that level, then it doesn't matter if she's unattractive or attractive.
Besides, if the only attractive thing your man finds about you is your sexual performance, then you have a problem. One has to be attracted to you first and foremost. Great sex can't keep men for that long if you're not attractive in his eyes at all. That's my opinion.
Though I know one of my exes is dating a girl some may consider "below" average (I'm not bitter, I actually thought that the first time I saw her on her own, way before they started dating. I know it's not nice, but I couldn't help myself and I don't like it at all. I have exes who are dating gorgeous women, and I've got no problem admitting that and even telling them.) and from what I understand, they started as fwb, so sex might keep them together for a while but knowing him, he chases pretty like a hunter, I doubt it'll last long.
No offense but exactly how old are you , now great sex trumps drop dead gorgeous looks any day of the week.
And I'm not in any way saying that great (sex)hexvex can
stand alone by it's self and win out over a drop dead
gorgeous woman , but great sex and compatibility
certainly will. Now I had DROP DEAD GORGEOUS
WOMEN that I absolutely hated being around (because)
they were LOUSY DEAD FISH LOVERS and very
high maintenence and self centered women. A
GREAT lover with other qualities to go along with
that will easily hold a man attention , whereas a
Drop dead gorgeous WOMAN (S) get tired real fast
after the newness of the (Sex)hevvex wears off. Take
it from a 64 years young man who knows about long
terms relationships 1. 37 years & 2nd 6 years long , good
(Sex) along with a girl that's loves you will add 10 to 20 years to your life , and on the other hand the wrong DROP
DEAD GORGEOUS WOMAN (S) will take 10 to 20 years off.
This situation can easily be solved by not competing.
... it all comes down to compatibility and chemistry. You can't control either one of those factors, so competing with another person is just a waste of time.
^^^This.
Just yesterday I was in a coffee shop sitting next to a woman who was not my type. She was plain-looking with an idiosyncratic fashion sense. Apart from great legs, her body was unremarkable. Yet, even now as I write this, I feel the same stirring in my loins I felt yesterday from an undeniable chemical attraction.
Would I sleep with her? Hell yes. But it would not develop into a relationship because my preferences would eventually override the chemistry.
If, however, this woman had physical (and other) qualities that were "close enough" to my desires, she would easily win out over more "attractive" women who lacked that chemistry.
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