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And that's fine, except that it doesn't really fly for wanting a romantic relationship. Somebody has to make the first move, whether that be asking someone out for the first time, or suggesting a date later on, or letting an SO know that sexytimes are on the table. It's a constant give and take between partners. Mogwailover can detest doing this until the end of time, but it really doesn't make him good relationship material.
Well apparently according to this board, there are women out there who will approach as rare as it is.
But there are men who approach not because they want to or enjoy it but because they have to.
Of course the OP has possibly come to terms that he will not have a relationship.
You can detest whatever you want to detest. And I'm not always the initiator, the last couple of women I dated initiated with me, but that didn't happen until I was in my late 30s or 40s. When you're a kid it is different, especially with someone like me that wasn't good looking, not so great skin, a bit flabby...
But yeah, it is fun, meeting someone, being attracted to them, courting them, having them reciprocate sometimes (hardly all the time, it was often infrequent in my teens and 20s) and then the sexy times.
So go ahead and detest it. Even when I detested it I did it anyway, because it was the only way to get what I wanted. I have to live life on life's terms, the world isn't changing for me. Whining about the world certainly didn't change anything, and it just got me further from what I wanted.
Well I go to therapy this Friday, I recently registered for it, first session of it so far that I will be attending, seeing if that can change my thinking
I know people who have thrown in the towel. Guess what? They're still single. It's somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophesy. Unfortunately, dating, like everything in life, takes work & sometimes it means getting out of your comfort zone to a significant degree. The older you get, the easier it is to become consumed by your work or hobbies, leaving little room in your life for a relationship.
The older you get, the easier it is to just give up on dating. The easiest time to date is when you're in school. After that, it just gets harder, never easier. You can give it up, but don't expect someone will just fall into your lap without working at it. Also don't expect anyone to feel sorry for you. No one will care if you try to date or not.
There is no age where dating for the purpose of a relationship becomes impossible. People in nursing homes "date." For a guy, I would say age between 41 and 45 is the age where dating for the purposes of starting a family from scratch becomes unlikely. So even for that, you're way too young.
I know people who have thrown in the towel. Guess what? They're still single. It's somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophesy. Unfortunately, dating, like everything in life, takes work & sometimes it means getting out of your comfort zone to a significant degree.
The older you get, the easier it is to just give up on dating. The easiest time to date is when you're in school. After that, it just gets harder, never easier. You can give it up, but don't expect someone will just fall into your lap without working at it. Also don't expect anyone to feel sorry for you. No one will care if you try to date or not.
Yes I think people realize that giving on dating means you are going to be single. I don't know where the OP implies he doesn't understands this.
Is the idea that single=bad really that entrenched in people's minds?
Yes I think people realize that giving on dating means you are going to be single. I don't know where the OP implies he doesn't understands this.
Is the idea that single=bad really that entrenched in people's minds?
I don't think single=bad, but it limits your options to enjoy society fully, I think. A lot of the structure of our society is set up to accommodate couples and families, not really single people.
That doesn't mean you can't be happy single. I'm married, but to tell the truth I was a happier person single. It has nothing to do with my wife - it's just that being committed at all raises my stress/anxiety level & I didn't realize that before.
I don't think single=bad, but it limits your options to enjoy society fully, I think. A lot of the structure of our society is set up to accommodate couples and families, not really single people.
That doesn't mean you can't be happy single. I'm married, but to tell the truth I was a happier person single. It has nothing to do with my wife - it's just that being committed at all raises my stress/anxiety level & I didn't realize that before.
No one should be married or be in a relationship just because society says you should.
A single person can easily enjoy society to the fullest.
I don't think single=bad, but it limits your options to enjoy society fully, I think. A lot of the structure of our society is set up to accommodate couples and families, not really single people.
That doesn't mean you can't be happy single. I'm married, but to tell the truth I was a happier person single. It has nothing to do with my wife - it's just that being committed at all raises my stress/anxiety level & I didn't realize that before.
Why are they fun? Why should a guy not detest having to be the approacher, initiator?
Because it is self defeatist? I mean, why should I not detest having to brush my teeth? Oh, because I like having teeth. I can detest and do it. But that is just a waste of attitude. I mean, in my world, guys DON'T have to "initiate". Most relationships form organically. But if you want to date, you probably have to do something to advance that goal.
It really seems most people out there who reach their mid-20's and beyond without ever having a romantic relationship before, are socially awkward, insecure guys instead of women
Most is a stretch. Some are some aren't.
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