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Old 09-19-2016, 04:59 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,535,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Yes, billions of people and no guarantee that you'll meet, connect with, and fall in love with any of those billions of people.
Shortens the odds a bit though
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Old 09-19-2016, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,832,433 times
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When I was dating, I always tried to keep the conversation lighthearted and just enjoy myself and try to have fun. Being grilled about heavy subjects right away kind of takes all the fun out of dating, in my opinion. Those are questions that I'd want to know before becoming exclusive but I don't think you really need to know on the first date.
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Old 09-19-2016, 05:59 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,535,624 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
When I was dating, I always tried to keep the conversation lighthearted and just enjoy myself and try to have fun. Being grilled about heavy subjects right away kind of takes all the fun out of dating, in my opinion. Those are questions that I'd want to know before becoming exclusive but I don't think you really need to know on the first date.
Yes I agree ^^^^ for me also
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:01 PM
 
21,382 posts, read 7,956,917 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
When I was dating, I always tried to keep the conversation lighthearted and just enjoy myself and try to have fun. Being grilled about heavy subjects right away kind of takes all the fun out of dating, in my opinion. Those are questions that I'd want to know before becoming exclusive but I don't think you really need to know on the first date.
There's a difference between dating and looking specifically for a partner. Dating is all about having fun or enjoying the "drama." Looking for a partner is trying to avoid the drama and find someone who wants to stick around when things aren't so fun.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:02 PM
 
6,977 posts, read 5,712,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmoStars View Post
This is an interesting subject I want to bring up.
Should there be a certain time you should start asking your partner/date ( assuming you want a long term relationship) about kids?
People change their minds about this subject all the time, but it also can instantly kill any long term relationship you don't want with someone thats not on the same page with kids as you are?

Any thoughts on this? Should this question be asked on the 1st , 2nd, 3rd date, being together first or wait a month?
on day 1.

day 1.

trust me.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:05 PM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,849 posts, read 9,426,961 times
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My now husband knew before our first date. There was no sense in us continuing since I want kids so badly. My partner would need to be on the same page, no questions asked since it's so important to me to have children.

My husband wants kids because he wants to be a father, but he also wants them because he knows it will fulfill my dream of becoming a mother and THAT is so important to him. That is how I know we're right for each other--we do what makes the other happy and we help each other fulfill the other's dreams and our common goals/dreams.

The children conversation should be done early, in my opinion. No sense in continuing a relationship if the two will never be compatible in that area/decision. Many go into it thinking the other will change their mind. Never works.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:19 PM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,725 posts, read 20,264,355 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
There's a difference between dating and looking specifically for a partner. Dating is all about having fun or enjoying the "drama." Looking for a partner is trying to avoid the drama and find someone who wants to stick around when things aren't so fun.
I don't know, I mean, it's pretty much the same screening process.. You still have to "date" your partner before you even get to that point.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:19 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,535,624 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
There's a difference between dating and looking specifically for a partner. Dating is all about having fun or enjoying the "drama." Looking for a partner is trying to avoid the drama and find someone who wants to stick around when things aren't so fun.
You have to date first in order to get an specific partner no?

I can see your point but she's actually talking about the vibe on an actual date.... Which is why I agree with her as I don't really want to talk about the heavy stuff right off.

I know it's important but me personally I think it's too heavy and in depth to talk about to someone you've actually just met or don't really know..... It's like you're already planning your future with them ie kids, marriage etc.

Again I see your point and for me I feel once we know each other ( I'll have a good idea by then about most things she's wants or doesn't after a few dates ) and I've recognised that she would be for me and want exclusivity with her and start a relationship then I'd ask.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:23 PM
 
21,382 posts, read 7,956,917 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
I don't know, I mean, it's pretty much the same screening process.. You still have to "date" your partner before you even get to that point.
It's the difference between 2 dates and 8 dates. Not interested in a relationship? Know by 2 dates. Just want to go out, have fun? Have 8 dates. You are getting all the info you need in 2 dates. And if you are still on the fence? There's your answer. Move on. This is for those who want an exclusive relationship. Some people don't.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:25 PM
 
21,382 posts, read 7,956,917 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
You have to date first in order to get an specific partner no?

I can see your point but she's actually talking about the vibe on an actual date.... Which is why I agree with her as I don't really want to talk about the heavy stuff right off.

I know it's important but me personally I think it's too heavy and in depth to talk about to someone you've actually just met or don't really know..... It's like you're already planning your future with them ie kids, marriage etc.

Again I see your point and for me I feel once we know each other ( I'll have a good idea by then about most things she's wants or doesn't after a few dates ) and I've recognised that she would be for me and want exclusivity with her and start a relationship then I'd ask.
You're not planning your future "together." Most people know whether they want kids. It's generally pretty clear, and asking upfront saves time and saves a LOT of hurt feelings later on, whether a person wants/does not want them.

People never want to discuss the important stuff upfront. It's why there are so many divorces.
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