How soon should you ask your date/partner if they want or don't want kids? (children, couple)

[CosmoStars]

This is an interesting subject I want to bring up.
Should there be a certain time you should start asking your partner/date ( assuming you want a long term relationship) about kids?
People change their minds about this subject all the time, but it also can instantly kill any long term relationship you don't want with someone thats not on the same page with kids as you are?

Any thoughts on this? Should this question be asked on the 1st , 2nd, 3rd date, being together first or wait a month?

[LowonLuck]

First five minutes. If we are on different pages, there is no point to continue pursuing anything.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

Depends on how important it is to you. If you are decidedly child-free or absolutely do want children, then that discussion needs to happen as early on as possible. If you can go either way (ie. kids would be nice under ideal circumstances, but not essential), then it's less imperative.

[JerZ]

If you're doing OLD, you probably already know, as there are categories for such things, I think...is that right?

Otherwise, I always found the subject came up fairly soon. It was just one of those "general" topics, along with job, school and so on.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by JerZ

If you're doing OLD, you probably already know, as there are categories for such things, I think...is that right?

Otherwise, I always found the subject came up fairly soon. It was just one of those "general" topics, along with job, school and so on.

Yes

and

Yes

[Amelie90]

I did not bring it up unless it naturally came up in conversation.

[CosmoStars]

Originally Posted by JerZ

If you're doing OLD, you probably already know, as there are categories for such things, I think...is that right?

Otherwise, I always found the subject came up fairly soon. It was just one of those "general" topics, along with job, school and so on.

But its a serious one.

There were a couple threads I believe on this forum in which a long term relationship ended due to a partner wanting kids and the other one didn't

[CosmoStars]

Originally Posted by LowonLuck

First five minutes. If we are on different pages, there is no point to continue pursuing anything.

But can't you change your mind possibly?

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by CosmoStars

But its a serious one.

There were a couple threads I believe on this forum in which a long term relationship ended due to a partner wanting kids and the other one didn't

Yes. That's why, at least in my experience, it has always been one of the "first" topics. Not in a staring in one another's face pointedly way, but in an obvious "this is how I see my future" way. Plain and simple.

[ocnjgirl]

I wouldn't come right out and just ask, to me it should be natural, not like an interview. I usually discuss overall goals in life, etc. I find it unusual that after 2 hours of blabbing over dinner I wouldn't get some understanding of what they were looking for.