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Sh--! how long can you go on faking an orgamism? I think if you really love that person, then their mate could make it fun to simply "show" them how to please you. If all fails after that and the relationship is dull anyway,....make your decision then...but the break it entirely, its easier said then done.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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In every single lesbian relationship both partners have erectile dysfunction and can't "perform" in that way, not unless they have a strap-on *****. Yet there are many, many very happy, fulfilled, and stable lesbian relationships.
Anyone can learn to give an orgasm to any other person who is capable of having orgasms. Some women may prefer one given in the usual way, but that orgasm is pretty much the same as one received through oral or digital stimulation. Not a huge difference. It should be livable and acceptable to have an alternative type, though most guys need to go through a learning curve on both methods (speaking as a guy who's had to do that).
The bigger problem can be that it does take some effort for the guy and really isn't as pleasant as he is pretending it to be (unless he is deeply in love and digs that end result of shuddering soft thighs squeezing him and the moans of ecstasy), but still if she has a high sex drive he really should do that for her. Some women are perfectly able to live without sex, may even prefer to, while others have a need to do it every so often.
There are further considerations in a marriage than sex - marriage is also about family. In fact in most past cultures sexual/romantic fulfillment was not thought to be the main reason for a marriage. People married to continue the family and to cement inter-family alliances. Personal satisfaction was irrelevant to that. The guy did his "duty" by having enough sex to get at least one viable child, preferably male to continue the family name. It was considered normal for him (and not unexpected for his wife) to fool around other than that, though the woman needed to be very discreet because in many areas of the world she could be executed for adultery if caught in the act, due to religious beliefs. (this is not just European historical culture, but was very similar in other complex societies I've read about).
The point is, if your partner is not giving you satisfaction and doesn't want to learn how, then the family aspects of the marriage become more important (raising the kids properly), and it's not such a big deal to go "outside" for any needed satisfaction or a better personal relationship. It may become an open relationship where it's accepted but hidden from the kids. I think a brutally simple ultimatum to a husband who is reluctant to help out his wife might work: "Do me a favor, or I'll get someone else to do it".
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