Would you end a relationship with someone if they couldn't sexually perform? (woman, love)

[jhlcomp]

In answer to the question - I guess it depends on one's age. If I were 20-somethng and just married or in a serious relationship, this would be a significant problem and serious medical advice would be sought. As one gets older, there might be a better understanding and a way to work around the problem.

I believe if you both love each other and work together to resolve this or any issue - then the answer is "no" - if there isn't a commitment to the marriage and/or relationship, then it might be time to move on.

[Mylady]

At this point in my life I would say...Hell yeah. I am 33, still fairly young! Sex is important very.

[LexusNexus]

Originally Posted by sunflower101

Sex is an important part of a relationship for many people. Would you end it if a new partner couldn't perform?
Discuss

That depends on our relationship. Perhaps she has other qualities that I find rare and I won't look to her to fulfill my sexual needs.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by sunflower101

Would you end a relationship with someone if they couldn't sexually perform?

Sex is an important part of a relationship for many people. Would you end it if a new partner couldn't perform?
Discuss

You're saying new partner. To me, it would depend on how new plus our ages. At some point, I assume that sex won't be very important.

It also depends on what's wrong and if they try other ways to accomplish it.

Originally Posted by CuCullin

I'm 27.

If it was something that was temporary, due to some medical condition or something, no. In fact, my gf has back issues due to a car accident, and was told by her doctor that there was to be "no strenuous activity" for a while. Ok, no problem.

Permanently? Thats another story. I think sex is tightly entwined with intimacy, and without it would lead to feelings of regret, spite, hatred, etc. Emotionally, not a good place to be. Wouldn't be worth the relationship if you're going to lose it anyway.

I also have back problems & don't recall ever being told I couldn't have sex. There are many ways to do it and she can just lay there.

Also, when people have sex, their pain levels change. It was on an episode of Greys Anatomy & I ended up looking it up at one point, found info on it. As long as she is not overdoing it, I don't see why not.

Now, if you're talking about being on medication for the back problem and her not having the desire because that does happen, then it's a different story. I've found that adjusting the time (to have sex) of day works.

[SandyCo]

I probably wouldn't stay in a new relationship with someone who had sexual problems. I don't wear a halo (last time I looked, anyway!), so I honestly wouldn't choose to deal with this. This is a new relationship, though - say, six months' involvement or less.

If it's not a new relationship, then that's different. People age, things happen, etc. It would depend on the reasons behind it. Also, is he still being open and affectionate? Then I'd probably stay. There are creative ways to handle things like this.

[NooYowkur81]

I wouldn't end a relationship just based on sex. Well at least not right away at least. Although it is a big part. It would be tough but I would not end in based only on that. This is a very good question.

Here's the approach I would probably take. I would probably try to teach her to be a better lover, and try to get her to open up and enjoy sex more. If after trying things still don't work out, I would still probably hang in there as much as possibly could and hope to work something out with her. However even with my fair amount of patience I would get to a point where the temptation to cheat would be too much. Once it get to that point, I would not in good conscience be able to continue the relationship.

It's funny how the answers have been overwhelmingly from the female perspective of a male partner who cannot perform or is a "bad," performer. Would like to see some more male answers on the question.

I think some women assume it doesn't take much to please a guy, so even if they are just laying there, it's enough. Well some of us are not as easy to please, and would not be happy with a "cold fish".

[artemis432]

This is an old forum. But what if the neglected spouse - neglected in all ways not just sexual - doesn't work because they can't afford the childcare for the toddler and they make too much though for vouchers. Maybe a neglected spouse is afraid she won't get custody of the baby because of that.

[djf863000]

Originally Posted by Mooseketeer

No , never. Sex is wonderful and a lovely part of a relationship but to me Love , intimacy and fun is far more important.

Let's face it there is quite a lot of a physical relationship you can have without having full sex.

I have been with my fiance for almost 20 years now and I think we love each other far too much and are far too in tune to solely rely on sex.

I would miss sex but it's not that important. In the end I value our relationship far too much.

I would be far more lost he wasn't around. Sex is sex. It's fun, pleasurable and great but it's not everything.

It does not compare with tenderness, affection, years of trust and memories, shared laughter and even painful moments. He is my soul mate and his physical ability to perform sexually is not why I am with him.

That would just be shallow.

Nicely said, couldn't have said it better. Exactly how I see it.

[himain]

Yes. You'll never be fully happy and will find it somewhere else. Unless thats agreed upon in the beginning, it only spells disaster in long run

[hollygolightly]

A good friend of mine had this problem. She was in her early thirties, he was thirty years older than her. They hung in there for awhile, but in the end the age difference (and what goes along with it, for a man) proved to be too difficult.