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How old are you? When I was in my late teens 25 years ago I knew no one that was required to keep those kind of strict hours.
I'm 49.
We raised our kids the same way, and they are 32 and 28 now. As long as they lived under our roof, they had to be in at a certain time. If they didn't like it, they were free to leave.
I have two sons about to turn 21, and they would circumvent this rule by just "spending the night" at the home of the friend they're with.
At least as far as I knew
They haven't had an 11 pm curfew since junior year in high school. And yes, I know lots of people think it's different for girls and yes, my dad told me the exact same thing about nothing good happening after midnight. At least he didn't make it gender-specific.
Either way, it's funny that that is the point the OP chose to focus on this last time around. As usual, what you think is the problem is really just a symptom of the problem.
We raised our kids the same way, and they are 32 and 28 now. As long as they lived under our roof, they had to be in at a certain time. If they didn't like it, they were free to leave.
Well when you were 20 you already had a 3 year old, so obviously you were home at a decent hour every night. I'm not judging but you have no practical experience into what I'm talking about.
As for your kids, did you require them to be home at 11pm every night when they were 18-22 years old?
Well when you were 20 you already had a 3 year old, so obviously you were home at a decent hour every night. I'm not judging but you have no practical experience into what I'm talking about.
As for your kids, did you require them to be home at 11pm every night when they were 18-22 years old?
Wrong again. I did not birth these kids. I helped raise my husband's kids from the age of 12 and 16.
And yes, while they were LIVING UNDER OUR ROOF FOR FREE, they had to be in by 11pm. One stayed til she was 26 because she was going to college at the time.
She was also the only one who broke curfew one time, and her father locked her out of the house. She stayed at her friend's house for a few days before she apologized and never did it again, because she learned that living away from home with not a lot of money was not any fun.
But you seem to like to argue with people here, so you go on ahead and think what you want. I'm done with you.
If the kids don't like the rules of the house, they are free to move out and start their lives outside of it.
That's part of "being an adult"
IE: taking responsibility for yourself
The rules of the house do not only serve the children once they grow to the appropriate age and can think and begin fending for themselves.
This is something a lot of parents have issue coming to terms with after raising their children for so long and attending to their needs. It's as much a transitional period for the children as it is for the adults.
Perhaps not in this day and age, but I was brought up that when you live under someone else's roof for free, it is not up to you to decide what you want, what you will, and what you won't do. You do what is asked, or you go get your own place.
Up until I was 21, I had to be home before 10pm.
It used to be with (a NYC TV station) that at 10pm they would broadcast before their nightly news, "It's 10pm, do you know where your children are?"
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Ok. So I really don't get this thing about imposing curfews on adults.
For those who say my house my rules, if you had extended family coming in for say, a wedding or a high school reunion, etc. would you impose a curfew on them? Would you say if you're staying here, it's 11 p.m. or you can stay at a hotel?
Ok. So I really don't get this thing about imposing curfews on adults.
For those who say my house my rules, if you had extended family coming in for say, a wedding or a high school reunion, etc. would you impose a curfew on them? Would you say if you're staying here, it's 11 p.m. or you can stay at a hotel?
am I responsible for my extended family and how they have decided to live, structure and run their lives?
If so, I was not aware I was.
If I had people staying with me, it's a special circumstance I would have no reason to be militant over enforcing my house rules on to them unless it interfered with the people in my homes daily business and lives negatively.
You're trying to correlate two completely separate circumstances together with this example.
Ok. So I really don't get this thing about imposing curfews on adults.
For those who say my house my rules, if you had extended family coming in for say, a wedding or a high school reunion, etc. would you impose a curfew on them? Would you say if you're staying here, it's 11 p.m. or you can stay at a hotel?
As a guest in someone's house, I am going to do everything I can to abide by the "house rules", which includes giving proper consideration and respect. If I do not, then I shouldn't expect to be welcomed there again.
My family, whether extended or otherwise, always show proper consideration. There has never been a question of rules because no one has ever done anything to prompt such a discussion.
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