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And I have no wish to meet and interact with people, people are unstable and unpredictable I get very little from relationships with people, I want to meet a person, over time you can learn a persons likes, patterns, motivations and what about myself makes that person happy so I can intensify that aspect that was/is already there and vica versa. I have learned that trying to be more social to meet people backfires because they usually still expect you to be social after you have met them.
So are you really saying that you don't want to leave your house, ever? Like, you meet a woman and she's in a wedding, you're not going to go with her and meet her friends? You're not going to do holidays with her family? You're not going to travel with her? You're not going to have friends over for a cookout? You really expect her to be truly happy sitting in your dark house and watching you play video games and making renderings of women who look like meth heads?
As the Spanish phrase goes: "su vida es sueno"--your life is a dream. Your issue is not that you're just a nice, simple guy, looking for a nice, simple woman. You expect her to embrace your uncommon lifestyle while having no life of her own. You're so committed to your fantasy life that I don't think any real woman would be able to fit into the strict parameters you require.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 10-19-2017 at 09:38 AM..
You kind of seem like an anti-social homebody or something you never really said what you do to try and meet women. Just that you were a bouncer and saw a lot of gold diggers lol. There's lots of women that like metal and alternative music, a little harder to find though in most areas. They didn't go away just because it's not 1995 and Kurt Cobain and Chris Cornell died. The 2000's had a huge metal, rock, punk, alternative scene and experienced a renaissance that is still ongoing today.
I doubt they're hanging out at Cowboy Ugly dancing on the bar in a cowgirl hat. I don't know anything about Texas, I probably wouldn't like it there other than that there's a lot of cute latinas running around I imagine.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx
And I have no wish to meet and interact with people, people are unstable and unpredictable I get very little from relationships with people, I want to meet a person, over time you can learn a persons likes, patterns, motivations and what about myself makes that person happy so I can intensify that aspect that was/is already there and vica versa. I have learned that trying to be more social to meet people backfires because they usually still expect you to be social after you have met them.
.....
Why is it so bad to want a happy life and relationship while avoiding the complications that are out there.?
You find it hard to have a relationship because you don't want to have relationships, and you don't like having relationships.
This isn't rocket science.
Relationships are challenging enough to form when you like connecting with people and crave connections and relationships with people. Seriously.
How on earth did you manage to get married and have a family? Whatever happened to them? Did you have some sort of breakdown that changed your ability to relate to people?
And I have no wish to meet and interact with people, people are unstable and unpredictable I get very little from relationships with people, I want to meet a person, over time you can learn a persons likes, patterns, motivations and what about myself makes that person happy so I can intensify that aspect that was/is already there and vica versa. I have learned that trying to be more social to meet people backfires because they usually still expect you to be social after you have met them.
This is why you can't get past two dates with women. That, and probably your inability to enjoy activities in daylight.
the op shows us the exterior and interior of his home to give us a feel for what the environment is within his every day life that he lives. I mean seriously, this is the guy's home, and everyone here is dissing it without fail. i realize that he opened his house up to being criticized when he posted his pics, but no one is mentioning the good things about it:
* his house is clean. there were times i've been to a few guys houses/apts/studios and there was chit laying on the floor, garbage piling up in the bin and lumps of clutter scattered throughout. I'm especially impressed with how tidy and clean his bedroom is and how his bed is made; some guys never make their beds and for me, that would be a huge turn off. Every woman is different and i can't speak for them, but for me personally, i'm not that superficial or picky to expect a single guy's house to look like it crawled out of the pages of homes & gardens.
Most guys i've ever known keep their house/apt very simple-looking, clean lines, usually lots of electronics/monitors/puter stuff, basic-looking furniture and dark grey/brown/black decor. Having plants can be dicey if they're not properly taken care of, watered, sunned and pruned regularly. Most guys don't have time for that, nor do they care to have to add that to their to do list. As far as wall art is concerned, everyone has their own definition of style for the interior of their home. Some people hang posters, some hang boring framed art on their walls and some don't put anything on their walls. There's no reason for him to have a 'woman's touch' with regard to his decor since there isn't a woman living there and, he's not a woman, he's a guy...and guys have different styles of decorating than we do.
* his house is paid for. i think it says a lot for the op that he has a home that is paid for and he's not renting, which everyone knows is the same thing as throwing your money into a fireplace. So what if it has bars on the windows and on the front door? Those probably came with the house and is a lot cheaper than him having to go and get a fancy-shmancy alarm system just to impress a woman who'd rather not have to 'see' the bars within her field of vision.
As far as his lawn is concerned, who cares if it isn't layered with st. Augustine sod? He's content with the way his lawn looks currently. Maybe once he's in a ltr and the woman wants the grass outside to 'look pretty', he'll invest in having some green fluffy sod installed.
* he works from home. he has the type of career where he is at home a lot, which could translate into him spending more time at home with his future gf instead of always being 'at the office working late' or working ot on the weekends and hardly ever being at home with her. Not only that, but his work station is lit asf.
If i dated a guy and he was gracious enough to invite me to his home and the op's house is what it looked like inside and out, it wouldn't make a difference to me either way. I date guys to see how their personality is and what's inside their heart - i don't date guys to try and find one with a beautifully decorated house specifically designed to my liking or to womens' liking in general. Things like what colour the curtains are, wall hangings, plants, exterior fixtures, etc. Are all things that can be changed whenever the mood strikes the owner; it's not etched in stone.
As long as the guy is a sweet person, is respectful and kind, is faithful (in every way) to the woman he's with and is a responsible person which means that he is working, is paying his bills, owns a car and he's not a druggie, an abuser, a narcissist or doesn't have some other type of character disturbance - that is what's most important to me.....not how his house is (or isn't) decorated.
OP, you seem to be living: A) 25 years in the past and B) inside a Sims game. Until you get out of your bubble and start meeting and interacting with real people in the daylight, regularly, you will continue to suffer the interpersonal problems of every other hermit or hikikomori.
Apparently it is a Sims game with disturbingly emaciated women with see through skin, without an ounce of fat on their bodies who don’t care to wear full shirts at that. There simply are no women like that in the real world who aren’t completely strung out on tons of drugs, in which case, they’d just be out for the OP’s money to get more money for their drug habit. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone complain that their taxes went up because someone actually took an interest in buying boarded up houses in the neighborhood and caused property values to increase. Most normal human beings actually WANT their neighborhoods to be revitalized and see improved property values, but not the OP. He’s happy to see boarded up homes, apparently.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
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I gotta say, after reading the OP's latest post, it stopped me in my tracks. Not wanting to be out & about to meet new people (women), not wanting to have fun going to different venues/restaurants/etc., not wanting to go to family gatherings and friends' houses to socialize with them and not wanting to be in a relationship because he gets nothing out of it - yet, wants to meet a woman who will be willing to be a shut-in like he is -
is, um...just not normal. I don't mean that in a bad way, OP...but, it is a bit alarming though.
Now, looking back at the pics you showed of your house, it all makes sense. It's as if the bars on your windows are not kept there to keep burglars out...they're there to keep PEOPLE out (metaphorically). Unfortunately, it's probably going to end up actually keeping real people out of his house, because I believe this is the aura he's emitting from his person...and his house (although it's an inanimate object) could also be emitting this sort of negative energy or aura - which would explain why women aren't interested in him or probably even notice him.
It's your life, OP....and you have every right to live it as you see fit. However, it's very doubtful - with the way you live your life, the way your attitude is and the way you seem to have a repulsion of being around people in a social setting - that you'll ever find a woman who will just show up at your door that leads the same reclusive lifestyle that you do. I mean, you may bump into someone like that...but, it's highly unlikely.
What's more strange about this whole thing is that you're an older guy...you seem to have your life together financially (you pay your bills and own your home) but it's like your emotional and social growth has been stunted sometime earlier in your life; maybe your divorce or other relationship experiences has turned you into the type of person you are now, Idk. I would've expected to see this type of behaviour and mindset from a younger guy (as we have all seen the plethora of posts on this forum from guys who don't want to approach women or get into relationships because they say women don't notice them and aren't attracted to them).
Anyways, I'm glad I read his latest post because it ties everything together...and it explains why he seems to be in some sort of emotional void or limbo from which he doesn't want to escape. Kinda sad actually.
Apparently it is a Sims game with disturbingly emaciated women with see through skin, without an ounce of fat on their bodies who don’t care to wear full shirts at that. There simply are no women like that in the real world who aren’t completely strung out on tons of drugs, in which case, they’d just be out for the OP’s money to get more money for their drug habit. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone complain that their taxes went up because someone actually took an interest in buying boarded up houses in the neighborhood and caused property values to increase. Most normal human beings actually WANT their neighborhoods to be revitalized and see improved property values, but not the OP. He’s happy to see boarded up homes, apparently.
If the homes are boarded up, it means no neighbors to have to socialize with, or at least acknowledge and occasionally interact with.
Home ownership is an investment for most people and they are happy when the value of their home increases.
I've never heard anyone complain before that it "sucks" when their net worth increases. Or that they wouldnt want to spend $1000 on curb appeal that could greatly add more value and equity in their home. That is incomprehensible to me.
The OP is a puzzling character on many levels.
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i realize that he opened his house up to being criticized when he posted his pics, but no one is mentioning the good things about it:
