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Old 11-17-2017, 08:15 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,347,687 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteGem View Post
I sometimes feel held back by the trauma I experienced with my ex-husband cheating on me and I’m single because should be right now and I have not made it a priority. I am enjoying my life being single and learning more about myself. Feels like such a ray of sunshine nothing having to deal with a lying sob and following my dreams whatever they may be.
Yeah, don't be in such a hurry for a relationship. Better to develop your relationship with yourself.
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:16 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,347,687 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by nybklyn View Post
What is love? Most of the time people think love is all about having someone and jumping into a relationship. In my opinion, love is unconditional giving and forgiving. When you really love someone, it doesn't always mean two of you have to be together, instead, it could be exactly the opposite, and that's to let the other person go.

Do I still believe in love? Truth is, I don't even know any more. I see myself unconditionally giving to people around me and places I visit, but I don't know if that's love. I feel like I didn't come to this world with anything to give, so I trouble my parents in the first place to feed me and raise me, and trouble more to the community for my well being. After decades, I realize I should be the solution to the society and not be the problem. I know the moment I die, other than my family who is going to mourn me, no one will miss me.

So the answer is, is not about giving up on love, but what you can do as a human being, even when you know you will be forgotten after you die.
Sounds like a friendship I have...
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:19 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,074 posts, read 10,101,447 times
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Given my current status in life and my age, I think I have given up on relationships but definitely not love.
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:20 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,347,687 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alpha_waves View Post
I dunno. People say that, but we ain't immortal.
Exactly!!!

Don't waste whatever finite amount of life you have in a bad relationship.
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:50 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,721,626 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alpha_waves View Post
I ain't in no bad relationship... or any relationship. Don't think you got my point.
So would you rather take any kind of relationship than be by yourself?
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Hellinois
5,820 posts, read 3,876,035 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
Given my current status in life and my age, I think I have given up on relationships but definitely not love.
Aren't they one and the same? Or is there compartmentalizing involved, similar to loving America but hating the government?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
So would you rather take any kind of relationship than be by yourself?
I don't think that's what he meant, either.
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:59 AM
 
746 posts, read 442,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newdixiegirl View Post
This is an honest question: are you making this up or embellishing? If not, it utterly shocks and depresses me to know that there are such nasty, vicious people in the world.

With all due respect, it sounds like you have terrible taste in women, and that might be a bigger part of the problem than you realize. I know that modern dating is tough -- believe me --but, asking out better quality women (I'm talking about their characters) might be, at the very least, a less demoralizing experience, even if you don't find "the one" as soon as you'd like.
It was neither made up nor embellished. It happened just as I said. It shouldn't depress yo to know that people like that exist. Yes they were nasty to me, but there are far worse people than them in the world. Follow the news and you'll see what I mean.

And, what does "modern dating" have to do with two isolated incidents that happened twenty years ago?
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Old 11-17-2017, 09:01 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,721,626 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I don't think that's what he meant, either.
I never implied that.

I'm asking for clarification.
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Old 11-17-2017, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,746 posts, read 34,389,499 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RandyHS View Post
It was neither made up nor embellished. It happened just as I said. It shouldn't depress yo to know that people like that exist. Yes they were nasty to me, but there are far worse people than them in the world. Follow the news and you'll see what I mean.

And, what does "modern dating" have to do with two isolated incidents that happened twenty years ago?
I don't doubt you're telling the truth, but there seems like there is more to the story. How did you end up asking out such nasty women? Did you not speak to them beforehand to get a sense of what they were like? If so, did they seem like they were interested in you? Usually women are not socialized to be devastatingly rude to a person's face, so you either have a knack for picking some winners, or there were some social cues that you missed.
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Old 11-17-2017, 09:12 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,074 posts, read 10,101,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Aren't they one and the same? Or is there compartmentalizing involved, similar to loving America but hating the government?
So for me.. they are not the same. I'm a firm believer that love in of itself isn't enough to build a life together. To a greater extent, I several "loves" in my life... people who have been in my life for 20+ years; Some platonic, some I have been intimate with, a select few that I've had LTR with. I'd do anything for them... Loosing any of them from my life would break my heart.

Love isn't something that I can define nor author. Relationships are authored by the people that enter into them. I can't control how I feel but I certainly can control what I do with those feelings.

Human's have been asking "What is love?" for centuries... so I surmise it is different from individual to individual.


I've been in a very passionate and loving LTR prior to marriage. For one reason or another we simply couldn't build a life together; For one, she was a single mother of two and I wanted children. She couldn't. We mutually decided to break it off amicably; letting each other find happiness even if it meant with someone else. We did stop communicating for a period of time to recollect/recover but it was only a matter of time before we reconnected. She was there when I did find someone else. She was there when we got married. She was there when we had our three children. She was also there for me when the marriage started to fail. I don't think we stopped loving each other... simply accepted that it wasn't meant to be.

Last edited by usayit; 11-17-2017 at 09:26 AM..
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