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There are a few coworkers of mine that pretty much say the same... I will not say "all" the couples I know... One coworker is literally is wrapped around his wife's finger in everything they do. When I tell them all the things that I do on my own, I get strange looks from them... like I've broken some unwritten rule.
I've always done things on my own (and my SO). I go on trips on my own and have my own circle of friends that I spend time with... etc. I also made it a priority to spend time together and do things as a couple as well..
Its really up to the couple to decide and define expectations...
But that's the thing--if that's the choice they've made and they're living the life that they want to live, then it doesn't matter if someone outside the relationship would feel smothered. They love their spouse, they enjoy spending time together, and they're living the dream, in their eyes. But certain posters here do have a agenda, so sometimes one needs to clarify.
But that's the thing--if that's the choice they've made and they're living the life that they want to live, then it doesn't matter if someone outside the relationship would feel smothered. They love their spouse, they enjoy spending time together, and they're living the dream, in their eyes. But certain posters here do have a agenda, so sometimes one needs to clarify.
It completely is, but many have separation anxiety and feel insecure when not around their "significant other".
It completely is, but many have separation anxiety and feel insecure when not around their "significant other".
The coworkers I mentioned all say things along the lines of "Happy wife, Happy life." So it may not be anxiety insecurity....
What it does imply is that their happiness that their lives do revolve around the wife; not necessarily a bad thing. Of course, the wife reciprocates.... thus both are happy.
For some people, (such as MillennialUrbanist and to a certain extent perhaps I included) it isn't so much an agenda as much as a person that does subscribe to the idea that their happiness should revolve around anything but themselves. The notion of "Happy wife, Happy life." may seem stifling and suffocating.... it is their reality.
What happens when the "happy wife" is seemingly unattainable and efforts are not reciprocated? ... ok that's another topic.. but the end result is that I started to look for happiness elsewhere and from within. Hence.. I may given up on relationships but not necessarily love.
They told me. They didn't use the phrase "not allowed", but they did say that people in a relationship must do things together at all times. Separately is not an option, unless it's work. Maybe they want it that way, but it feels like jail to me.
Nah. For them, they either want it that way, or they just didn't want to be friends with you anymore (and using that as an excuse).
I can guarantee (at least in my social circle and surroundings) that getting tied to the hip 24/7 isn't true at all, lol.
Yup. I gave up decades ago. I have TERRIBLE man-dar. GREAT for other people, non-existent when it's myself.
Part of the problem is the way I was raised - basically I was chum in the shark tank. I spent an awful lot of time trying to be as small and invisible as possible. Sometimes I think this must have affected me physically as I am the shortest one in my family. By a LOT. Even my mom who grew up during the Depression was a good 4 inches taller than me.
But seriously. Between isolation, abuse, and a whole lot of retreat into imaginary worlds between the pages of books (GOOD books - Dickens - Dumas - Stevenson - etc etc) I really developed almost no "real world" social skills. I never dated until I was in college - 2nd year of college in fact.
Given my family background, ANYBODY looks like an improvement, at least at first. Plus - I am oblivious. I cannot tell when a man is attracted to me. I was in a toy store with my son when he was about 8 and got to talking to a guy in there for a few minutes. When we walked out to the car, my son turned to me and said "So - are you going to date him?"
Me: "WHAT? What are you talking about?"
Son: "He was interested in you! Are you going out with him?"
I had to ask people at work if he was right, repeated most of the conversation I'd had with the guy, and they all looked at me like I was crazy. OF COURSE, they said, he was interested in you.
So. Oblivious. The only way I know if someone is attracted to me is if he hits me with a bat. And then I don't like them because - he hit me with a bat!
Seriously. Apparently there were any number of nice guys who were attracted to me but I never knew about it - unless and until someone else told me about it months or years later. Nope. I only twigged to the a**holes.
So since I couldn't weed out the a**holes for myself, I just quit trying.
Now I'm old, fat, and disabled. So - just as well. Since I apparently only ever picked jerks, I'd probably have picked some guy who would have deserted me anyway. And if he wasn't a jerk - why would I want to saddle him with someone in my condition now?
All to the good. I've been much happier since I quit the whole dating scene. I do what I want when I want. I have no problem going to eat at a restaurant by myself. You know, I actually know women who STILL, in this day and age, WILL NOT go to a movie or restaurant by themselves?
WHYEVER NOT? Just because you're not dating doesn't mean you have to stop having fun! Overall I've had way MORE fun since I gave up on dating than I did before. Because now I never have to go to something I'm not really interested in, and I never have to change plans because the guy I'm "with" decides he'd rather do something HE is interested in. I never have to hear complaints about going off and doing something I like on my own, either.
sOUNds like you need to give up actually.
But giving up doesn't mean you have to giveup , just stop chasing it and live for you for awhile , it might well come to you instead or fall into your lap.
l met the two most important women in my life pretty well accidentally. Matter of fact, l think even girlfriends before l was married l mostly just bumped into or come across some how.
But hey , been at it 30yrs to now as my married ended 5yrs ago and gf since, gotta remember what l just preached and take my own damn advice eh.
I can guarantee (at least in my social circle and surroundings) that getting tied to the hip 24/7 isn't true at all, lol.
You're lucky. Must be something in Chicago's water, then. They say New York's water is really good, so there's your explanation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Screami
Yes and I have now joined mgtow, so long women and relationships I never had you to miss you anyway.
The beauty of MG... is that it starves the beast that led to it in the first place. Namely, big industries, and the government who makes anti-male laws. Think about it: so many industries in our society depend on stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. With such men making up 80% of the population, pushing them to do so is a lucrative move. (Naturally desirable men, the other 20%, do not settle down, or settle down on their own terms.)
Fancy restaurants, florists, chocolatiers, jewelers, McMansion contractors, William Sonoma et al., marriage counselors who always side with the wife, divorce lawyers, the whole damn baby industry, and even our government. (Without men providing a divorce windfall, they'd need to give single mothers more TANF.) They all make big money from stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. I.e. not being "Peter Pans" .
But let's stop while we're ahead. We can't post MG... threads.
You're lucky. Must be something in Chicago's water, then. They say New York's water is really good, so there's your explanation.
The beauty of MG... is that it starves the beast that led to it in the first place. Namely, big industries, and the government who makes anti-male laws. Think about it: so many industries in our society depend on stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. With such men making up 80% of the population, pushing them to do so is a lucrative move. (Naturally desirable men, the other 20%, do not settle down, or settle down on their own terms.)
Fancy restaurants, florists, chocolatiers, jewelers, McMansion contractors, William Sonoma et al., marriage counselors who always side with the wife, divorce lawyers, the whole damn baby industry, and even our government. (Without men providing a divorce windfall, they'd need to give single mothers more TANF.) They all make big money from stable providers caving to pressure to settle down. I.e. not being "Peter Pans" .
But let's stop while we're ahead. We can't post MG... threads.
Sounds like a smart move, because just about everything in your post before that sounds like BS, to me.
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