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\ do the rest of my life by my damn self. If something falls out the sky so be it
This, except if something falls out of the sky I'll get out out of the way and let it hit someone else.
Some will say I'm immature or sexist because I don't drink the Kool Aid. Nope. I think of it as knowing myself well enough to understand what works and what doesn't.
[snip]Men and women both are a lot of work, not just men. That's dating/relationships.
After another 1 and done date last night, I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now and just focus on work and other interests. I have another date planned for Monday, and if that doesn't work out, I may just take a break for a while.
Exactly what l was gonna point out , but couldn't be bothered , so thanks.
But yeah , it is def' 50 50 and the women, believe me, damaged and carrying it all around years later , self sabotaging because they can't get it together, things like that l find a HUGE issue with women in their 40s , early 50ish.
l often think l'd like to meet a women that's never been married and has no kids.
So maybe then she isn't damaged and bonus , still in nice shape.
Then again, got a sister 52 never married , ahh , think l'll scrap that idea.
She's a nice person and very intelligent but scatter brainish.
l often wonder if there doe shave to be something wrong with somebody older that never married though, maybe they just weren't lucky in love.
l often wonder if there does have to be something wrong with somebody older that never married though, maybe they just weren't lucky in love.
Any thoughts ?
This is a common assumption when, as with all things in life, the only fair way to assess it is on a case by case basis. Some people, me for example, have very specific goals and ambitions. Rightly or wrongly, I feel a relationship would only get in the way of my achieving them and reaping the benefits. I would resent my partner, whoever that happened to be, for the need to compromise and then hate myself for feeling that way. Is that any way to live?
The concept of 'lucky' in love is, like a redneck's singles party, all relative. Many people think of meeting 'the one' and settling down happily ever after as being lucky. For me that's the worst case scenario and the ultimate sellout, which I'd avoid at any cost.
I love how if you point out inequalities in relationships then you're accused of "gender bashing" but dudes can post misogynistic opinions ALL DAY LONG and nothing.
I haven't given up completely, but it's not something I actively pursue.
My parents always had a good relationship as far as I could tell, but otherwise I haven't seen anything from those around me that makes me WANT a serious partner. I see it differently than most, but of the friends I've known for a long time that are in relationships, all but maybe one would be better off without that specific person. They just have to have something serious at their age (~30) or their family will call them gay/otherwise harass them.
A good friend of mine has a girlfriend that LIVES to talk down to him in front of others. It made sense for him years ago - he had never dated or had sex, but now he's making WAY more than her (was the other way around) and he still just takes it. Sure, he can clown on me for being single, but at least I have my dignity.
Most of the girls I've known and respected over the years have been in relationships, therefore unavailable to me at the time.
I need to know a woman first before I really become attracted to her. I'm different. That's hard to do in this modern hookup culture when you don't know what each individual wants. For me ,going after women, are they looking for a real connection or a sex partner that they can sell to family/friends over time as a serious boyfriend? I believe that most (vast majority) modern relationships fall into the second category.
So to summarize: I just don't know. I guess I've been demoralized on the subject for a long time. I don't know what anyone wants, I don't know what I want. I think I've been single because it's what I want. I'm average looking (better on good days lol) and I have held a full-time professional job for years. It's not like I couldn't find someone that finds me suitable.
I do know that I'm comfortable and happy being single and I don't think I could change to accommodate a partner in my life unless we were REALLY similar. I guess that I'd need to date someone I already know, just because I don't want to invest months of my time being less happy (other than getting to have sex consistently) when I don't know who I'm dating. People can seem great and flip a switch into a crappy person. That scares the s*** out of me.
I realize anyone that is actually happy in a relationship will shake their head at me and my ramblings, but I know for a fact that I wouldn't accept being in 95% of the relationships I've been around.
Intentionally make me look stupid in public? You're gone.
Air our personal business in front of others because you can't communicate? Gone.
These are somewhat common in the relationships I observe. I'd rather be the weird single guy than have my junk ripped off by my SO in public.
Sir/Madam, you misunderstand. I don't want anyone to get me. I'm perfectly capable of screwing up my own life without anyone else sticking their oar in.
Yes, I have actually given up on love. It was just not meant to be for me. I seem to fall for the guys that are already taken and/or just don't care about me at all and/or enough. People tell me that I am very good looking, that I have a great personality and that I am very smart, yet, I can never get the guy I love to love me back. So, it must be destiny.
I have been stuck in unrequitted love for the past year with somebody I know I will never have. I am completely ridiculously enamored with this gentleman. He is not only very deliciously handsome, but he's just the whole package of what I would love to have as a partner, boyfriend, husband. I think part of the reason I like him so much is because in many years he's been the only guy whom I have fell over heels and for a moment I truly thought he was pursuing me, for a moment I thought he was making advances, for a moment I thought he was responding to my advances too, and then it just turns out that nah... I imagined all that.... Funny because I know, unless I am completely crazy, I know his eyes didn't lie, and there were times were I know I know very well we both felt the intense chemistry between us when we looked into each other eyes, his smile, how he got nervous around me, and likewise, me around him too, and the many texts he sent me when I was gone, among many other things, making me feel that I indeed had "his heart skipping when I'm gone", like the song says.
Sorry, I am getting corny, but this just shows how hurt I am. In the end, he never really pursued me (i.e., invited me to dinner, or drinks, or stepped it up and do something more romantic, make me feel more special), I suggested to him once that we should go for drinks, he said, "sure one day", but it just never happened. Nothing more romantic ever happened with him, so after a year, I have come to realize that I have been a total fool all this time and indeed I am crazy for imagining all that, and that phrase that I see over in these forums so much actually applies to me. "He's just not that into me".
And so, here I am, feeling like a loser, writing this post, because I am hurt, and I want the hurt and pain to go away and I guess just want to feel numb, I want to feel nothing until it all passes. So I write this letter, this post, and I put down all my feelings, hoping that writing this down makes me feel better.
I so much want to get over him. I have put distance between him and I, but I do get to see him on a regular basis, which doesn't help to get over him. He, I am pretty sure, knows I love him. I have done crazy things for him that most regular people wouldn't do, and he knows it. Yet, he still won't reciprocate my feelings, so that's that.
I have told myself that once I am over him, I will never subject my precious heart to this torture again. I will not fall in love again with anyone. In a way I can't anyway.
Definitely not worth it. Women make me jealous and worry, and those feel awful.
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