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She's 22, was a student ready to graduate from Vanderbilt, had a career until a year ago, and you believe she doesn't have a credit or debit card? OP confirms she has an income.
Also, every taxi company has handicapped accessible vehicles.
And yes, a patient can instruct their physicians not to allow anyone to schedule, reschedule, or cancel appointments for them. HIPAA is vague on this, but the threat of a lawsuit would certainly give them pause.
Why are you defending this abusive situation? Surely you don't condone what these parents are doing.'
Uber is not a solution. A one way UberX from her house to the Johnson City Medical Center (major hospital) is $38-$50.
She has a small income from SSI. She has had a credit card in the past.
I've told her that she needs to stay on her mom. I think she's far more responsible than mom is.
She's 22, was a student ready to graduate from Vanderbilt, had a career until a year ago, and you believe she doesn't have a credit or debit card? OP confirms she has an income.
Also, every taxi company has handicapped accessible vehicles.
And yes, a patient can instruct their physicians not to allow anyone to schedule, reschedule, or cancel appointments for them. HIPAA is vague on this, but the threat of a lawsuit would certainly give them pause.
Why are you defending this abusive situation? Surely you don't condone what these parents are doing.'
I’m not defending it, I simply pointed out it’s nit a HIPAA violation. ACA allows Dependent children to stay in parents insurance until age 26. Mom was taking her to the appointment, mom can’t make it do she calls and says as much. Again no sharing of protected information.
OP stated she is in her parents insurance. He also said she didn’t have a cell phone. She has an income but per OP, massive debt from health care bills, I doubt she has good enough credit for a card. Cabs are a lot more money and they take forever to get there, outside of a city. Again not defending anything just stating she has good reasons for dependence on others to transport her.
I am also not just going to asssume she’s in an abusive situation automatically. OP just met this girl and has been to her home twice. He and has no idea what the dynamic really is about at this early stage. Clutter does not equal abuse.
She herself does not frankly sound that motivated. Even without PT, were it me I’d have YouTubed every exercise for people with Lupus out there long before now. She may for all we know encourage the dependence, there is certainly no evidence she has ever taken any sort of proactive role in her health.
I don’t know OPs history, but others here who do know his threads seem to imply OP always chooses let’s say complex girls. When you’re looking for someone to save you’ll find reasons why they need saving. I take the grain of salt approach for now.
I’m not defending it, I simply pointed out it’s nit a HIPAA violation. ACA allows Dependent children to stay in parents insurance until age 26. Mom was taking her to the appointment, mom can’t make it do she calls and says as much. Again no sharing of protected information.
OP stated she is in her parents insurance. He also said she didn’t have a cell phone. She has an income but per OP, massive debt from health care bills, I doubt she has good enough credit for a card. Cabs are a lot more money and they take forever to get there, outside of a city. Again not defending anything just stating she has good reasons for dependence on others to transport her.
I am also not just going to asssume she’s in an abusive situation automatically. OP just met this girl and has been to her home twice. He and has no idea what the dynamic really is about at this early stage. Clutter does not equal abuse.
She herself does not frankly sound that motivated. Even without PT, were it me I’d have YouTubed every exercise for people with Lupus out there long before now. She may for all we know encourage the dependence, there is certainly no evidence she has ever taken any sort of proactive role in her health.
I don’t know OPs history, but others here who do know his threads seem to imply OP always chooses let’s say complex girls. When you’re looking for someone to save you’ll find reasons why they need saving. I take the grain of salt approach for now.
She has shown no interest in keeping her mom out of her health affairs. As far as I can tell, this cancellation of the orthopedic appointment seems to be a one-off.
The medical debt probably can't be paid. Right now, we're in a casual dating/relationship arrangement. I don't like the medical debt situation, but I understand it. I don't blame her for it. Virtually any of us, even with good insurance, would be in a financial pickle with a medical crisis of this length and magnitude.
I don't think the home situation is abusive. Suboptimal? Absolutely. I think her parents are doing the best they know how to do, even if what they're doing is likely not the best.
Like you said, the bad housekeeping is just bad housekeeping. The grandma seems totally goosed up, mom is an airhead, and they're sloppy housekeepers. I think, at worst, they're just inept, not abusive.
I also don't think she is trying hard enough. When we went to Bonefish last night, she couldn't bear down with enough pressure to properly cut a 6 oz filet. I just cut it up for her. If she can't cut a steak well, she really needs to get into therapy for her upper body. w
I think she be more proactive with her health. I'm going to try and push her in that direction. Ultimately, if she can't or won't be more proactive, that's going to be a dealbreaker.
Well, I think it’s sweet that you’ve taken her on as a project, and I mean that both kindly and as a warning.
There’s this condition called codependency that you should read up on and reflect upon honestly in yourself. It manifests itself in many ways. In your case, you are receiving emotional rewards for helping this young lady. You are also attempting to CONTROL the situation by insisting (even if you’re only thinking about it) that she attend physical therapy, start driving, and ultimately leave her “suboptimal” family home. It’s a slippery slope fraught with illusions and self deception. You’re not being as altruistic as you think.
I don’t know what the endgame will be. Just own up to it.
She has shown no interest in keeping her mom out of her health affairs. As far as I can tell, this cancellation of the orthopedic appointment seems to be a one-off.
The medical debt probably can't be paid. Right now, we're in a casual dating/relationship arrangement. I don't like the medical debt situation, but I understand it. I don't blame her for it. Virtually any of us, even with good insurance, would be in a financial pickle with a medical crisis of this length and magnitude.
I don't think the home situation is abusive. Suboptimal? Absolutely. I think her parents are doing the best they know how to do, even if what they're doing is likely not the best.
Like you said, the bad housekeeping is just bad housekeeping. The grandma seems totally goosed up, mom is an airhead, and they're sloppy housekeepers. I think, at worst, they're just inept, not abusive.
I also don't think she is trying hard enough. When we went to Bonefish last night, she couldn't bear down with enough pressure to properly cut a 6 oz filet. I just cut it up for her. If she can't cut a steak well, she really needs to get into therapy for her upper body. w
I think she be more proactive with her health. I'm going to try and push her in that direction. Ultimately, if she can't or won't be more proactive, that's going to be a dealbreaker.
Regarding therapy, are you just assuming she hasn't had any? If she hasn't then what is all the health care debt from? Chances are she's been to therapy on and off and either didn't keep up with the exercises once she was done and so started to lose function again, or the disease has progressed to the point that this is her max level of function.
OP as someone who works in rehab, I can tell you the patient has the be internally motivated, you can't push someone to be more proactive, and after only 2 dates this is really not your business. Take her as is or do the kind thing and stop seeing her now. Entering a relationship with the intension of changing the person as a condition of continuing with her is a lose-lose for all concerned.
OP as someone who works in rehab.....What!?, I thought the OP worked in an IT department who had a lot of free time on his hands (that's what he wrote elsewhere) which allowed him the opportunity to write things that weren't all the time true but made for a good conversational exchange. Maybe I'm wrong and am thinking of someone else
OP as someone who works in rehab.....What!?, I thought the OP worked in an IT department who had a lot of free time on his hands (that's what he wrote elsewhere) which allowed him the opportunity to write things that weren't all the time true but made for a good conversational exchange. Maybe I'm wrong and am thinking of someone else
That's on me. I work in rehab. I should have put a comma in..."OP, as someone who works in rehab, I...". Sorry for the confusion, I'm terrible typing on my phone!
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